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Posted this elsewhere by mistake ,,, so here we go again. Twenty-five year marriage with 11 year old son (who is the best thing in my life). Wife has conceded that she does not love me. there has been ZERO intimate relations in over three years.

About a year ago we discussed this and she made a suggestion that I could move out ,,,, be close by .....still see my son etc. I stayed. The more thought I gave to this all I have determined (i know its ridiculous) that she has not stated "I love you" to me in over twenty years.

Most recently after the discussion we had and her admitting that she does not love me and has no interest in sex ever again ,,,with anyone...I have given thought to moving out. My son is what kept me here.

I have located a great place close by (a condo that I would need to purchase) and had a discussion with my son. I became emotional ,,, and he was incredible. He very maturely stated that he wanted me and us all to be happy. He even drew me a picture and wrote me a letter called "I love my Dad." I cried and HE comforted ME.

Now I'm faced with way to do. I can not seem to bring myself to make an offer on this condo.

Also,,,there is an interested OW,,,,, who is well aware of this situation and cares and would be a person that would be of support. In time that could turn into a LTR. But Im in no hurry for that.

I know it may be a no brainer ,,, but I look around the house at all my son's stuff and I would be a disaster without him.

He's no dummy and knows that mom and dad have issues,,,,, and Ive heard its better for HIM to see the adults do what is right ,,, but I don't know what the right thing is !! Thanks!!!
 

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It sounds like you should divorce, but why are YOU moving out? Check with a D lawyer first to see if that's the best move for you.

You son is a great kid. He may be better off with a happy dad he sees 50% of the time vs. your current miserable marriage.
 

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The right thing to to is to first try to fix your marriage.

Have you two been to counseling? What books have you read? Have you used Harley's Love Buster and Emotional Needs questionnaires? Do you spend 15 hours a week with your wife doing things that you would do if you were dating (non kid/house/work stuff)? Have you shaken up your routine? Have you read No More Mr Nice Guy to see if you turned into a Nice Guy? (women always stop feeling romantic love with Nice Guys) Have you tried other ways to have SF?
 
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