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I was Just wondering how couples have dealt with disagreements about pets. My wife loves animals, as I do, but I'm not a huge fan of living with so many of them.

One example is cats, I'm actually allergic to them and she keeps pushing us to get one because she's had them all her life. We are planning to move to a bigger house in the next couple of years and I said I would consider it but it's something that I'm dreading because of my allergies.
She also wants a dog in the future, I'm not allergic to dogs but I'm not a fan of an animal that requires so much attention and cleaning everyday. But once again she says that she has to have a dog with her some time in the future...

Just wanted to get some people's input on similar issues that they've dealt with.
 

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Cat people should marry cat people. lol

This kind of disagreement can seriously cause a riff in your relationship. My husband is allergic to cats, so as much as I love cats, and grew up with them etc. etc., we don't have a cat. It's not worth him being sick for. We have a dog, but she's hypoallergenic. She's a Schnoodle (poodle/schnauzer) and he is fine with her, but yes she's like having a 2 year old child. We both do things for the dog, but I primarily care for her and he's fine with that. We have hardwood floors in the house too, which is really nice for any pet accidents.

My thoughts are, if your wife wants a dog, then it will be mainly HER responsibility to care for it. Otherwise, staying pet-less isn't a horrible thing.
 

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Don't get the dog just b/c your wife wants one and you want to make her happy.

My ex did this with me. I wish he would have just been up front and honest that he did not want a dog instead of going with me to the rescue organizations and picking out the dog HE was interested in.

Ended up when we divorced, he got rid of the so called dog "he picked out" b/c he never wanted a dog to begin with.

I feel so bad for Koda, I hope he got a good home b/c my ex just dumped him at the shelter :( I took my 2 dogs when I moved so couldn't take Koda as well or I would have!
 

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I said no to a dog and have stood by that for 22 years. I simply do not have the energy or interest in caring for one. I like to be able to leave without worrying about an animal. I have cats because they are largely self sufficient.

Oh and he knew this about me before we married.
 

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We have too many dogs and the last one was one too many. We love them, but they keep us from easy travel, etc. and take a lot of time. That said, I could see it working (since no allergy) if the one who wants it clearly understands their spouse will not be a primary caregiver for the pet. If she wants cats so bad, do you live somewhere that an outdoor cat would be ok (like the country)? Seems risky to push an allergy situation (and a bit selfish).
 

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I could not enjoy my life fully without my dog. They are such a joy and a stress release. H knew this about me when we met. He doesn't care one way or the other about the dog. I do all of the work, I don't ask him to walk, feed, kennel, or clean up for the dog. H does enjoy the benefits from the stress reduction I get from having a pet around.
 

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Excluding allergies... If husband wants a pet, the pet ends up being Mom's in most cases. If the kids want a pet, the pet ends up being Mom's in nearly all cases. So, if Mom wants a pet, fine, but if Mom doesn't want a pet, no one gets one cause it's going to end up her responsibility anyway.

I think it's insensitive to get a pet that your spouse is allergic too.

My kids used to ask what I would do if they developed an allergy to dogs... I told them I would miss them terribly!
 

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My wife loves animals, as I do, but I'm not a huge fan of living with so many of them.

One example is cats, I'm actually allergic to them and she keeps pushing us to get one ...

She also wants a dog in the future, I'm not allergic to dogs but I'm not a fan of an animal that requires so much attention and cleaning everyday.
Uh, no ... sorry, you do NOT love animals. You probably don't wish them any harm, but you are not an animal lover.

Your wife wants A cat and A dog. That's too many? And you are not "a fan of an animal that requires so much attention..."?

Nope. No animals for you.

I am allergic to cats and dogs. At one point, I had three cats and a dog. I also got allergy shots once a week for three years. It made my allergies manageable, along with non-prescription allergy pills, when needed.

Yeah, dogs need to be fed, walked, house broken, and taken to the veterinarian. If you find the responsibility for one cat and one dog is too much for you, then that is fine.

I respect people who aren't into animals. But I would never marry anyone with that mindset.

JMO.
 

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A house isn't a home without a dog. They bite burglars, they adore you when all humans are convinced you're a jerk. They think running errands in the car is a great adventure. They don't care if you're innocent or guilty, rich or broke, drunk or sober, or whether you live in a mansion or a cardboard box. They let you know when the mail or UPS comes and they'll be glad to wake you up if your house is on fire.
 

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There are drugs you can take for allergies. There are doggie day cares for daytime care. Just give her this. If not, she will probably want a baby. Then you'll see how much less work a cat or dog is!
 

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You have a right to your opinion and your wife should respect it. You just need to decide how important this issue is to you. Is it worth telling your wife in no uncertain terms that its you or a pet?

Fwiw, I married a guy who is not a big fan of animals and I am an animal lover. The difference is that I had my two cats when we started dating and let him know in the beginning that we came as a package. He decided it wasn't an important enough issue to break up over I guess. Once we moved in together the cats became part of his every day life. I did 100% of their everyday care for years until I got pregnant and was told by the doc not to touch the litter box. He took over from that point forward and it seems that now he doesnt even care much about them being around. He helps to take care of them and I even catch him cuddling them once in awhile.

He still wont say he likes animals but it is clear to me that he cares about them on some level. He notices when something is wrong with one of them and worries about them like any other member of the family.

Knowing he has opened his heart to them means a lot to me and makes me love him more.
 

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When I met my husband I had 4 cats and 3 dogs. He had fish and turtles, lol. He is allergic to cat fur but had grown up with cats anyway and loves them.

We discussed all of this prior to my moving in, and we both compromised on a few things but it's all worked out so well.

Yes, the dogs drive him nuts and can be messy, especially with muddy paws in winter but he loves them :)

I personally can't understand living without pets, they make a house a home :)
 

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A house isn't a home without a dog. They bite burglars, they adore you when all humans are convinced you're a jerk. They think running errands in the car is a great adventure. They don't care if you're innocent or guilty, rich or broke, drunk or sober, or whether you live in a mansion or a cardboard box. They let you know when the mail or UPS comes and they'll be glad to wake you up if your house is on fire.
And with out a dog, how could you possibly clean up a spilled milkshake...or anything for that matter!
 
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From the start, we have had at least a dog or a cat...sometimes both. There was only a short period of time when we had no pets at all. I love cats. My husband loves cats. I love dogs. My husband loves dogs. Currently, we have a small dog. That animal is more likely to LICK a burglar to death, rather than bite them!

We recently discovered that our daughter is allergic to cats. We found out when we were visiting my sister, who has two cats. Sad thing is, our little girl LOVES cats... but her eyes get very puffy when she's around them, even WITH medication. We limit her interaction because of this. Yea, she could get an allergy shot in addition to the allergy medication she takes, if we were to get a cat for our home. But you know what? HER HEALTH is much more important than WANTING a cat.

And I feel the same about what the OP has posted regarding this subject. WHY should he have to take medication just to live in his own house?? Why should an animal, which they do not even HAVE, come before his health? It shouldn't. And it's ridiculous to assume that he should take medication just so his wife can have a damn cat!

As for a dog... I can also respect not wanting to have one of them as well. If you know that you will not have the time available to care for a pet, to spend time with it, etc., then it would be stupid to get one. THAT is just common sense.

As for the statement that he isn't an animal lover because he doesn't want them in his own home, I call BS on that. You can love animals and not want them as your pet. I love horses... but I will never own one. I don't have the time, nor the resources available to care for one. It still doesn't change the fact that I love animals, including horses, regardless.

I can accept that some see no problem with taking medication to be around animals, but I don't think it's right to tell someone else to just take pills to make the spouse happy. Unreal...

To the OP: should you end up backed into a corner on this subject, and your wife gets a cat anyway, tell her that it stays outside, period. And the dog... well, since she wants it so bad, tell her she is responsible for all appointments, walking, feeding, bathing, etc. But that's JMO. And yes, I have done that. The only thing that changed it was when my husband has been physically incapable of caring for the dog himself. Otherwise, yes, it's been his responsibility, not mine. He is the one with the doctor's note for a companion pet (we wouldn't be able to have a pet at all without that note), so it's his responsibility.
 

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If you don't like them fess up. My husband told me he LOVES dogs. He got me dogs and then verbally abused them too. Yelling ALL the time at them, the house was in CHAOS.

I had to give up my dog who was my heart. He went everywhere with me.

Now about a year later, I am leaving him.

Soooooo Tell the truth before things get out of hand.

If you liked dogs, you would be happy to share your home. But it doesn't sound like you REALLY like them. You say you do, but...well.....
 

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It's my experience that people who want pets should marry people who want pets. I convinced my husband to get 2 dogs that he didn't really want. While he has very much bonded with one of them in particular, it holds us back from making spur of the moment plans, and no matter what we have planned on a weekend we always have to rush back to the house to take care of them. That bothers my husband a lot more than it bothers me and has created some resentment on his part in our marriage. It also creates resentment in me because I always think about what it would have been like to be married to an person who would actually want to help out with taking care of them. It's much more enjoyable to partner together on taking care of a pet than the person who wanted them having to take on all the responsibility.
 

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If you don't like them fess up. My husband told me he LOVES dogs. He got me dogs and then verbally abused them too. Yelling ALL the time at them, the house was in CHAOS.

I had to give up my dog who was my heart. He went everywhere with me.

Now about a year later, I am leaving him.

Soooooo Tell the truth before things get out of hand.

If you liked dogs, you would be happy to share your home. But it doesn't sound like you REALLY like them. You say you do, but...well.....
What does liking animals have to do with keeping them in your home? If someone really loved animals I don't think they would keep them trapped in their home for their own pleasure.
I would really like to have a cat since they're so independent and there's no feelings of guilt because they go in out if they want, but I'm allergic so it's not really an option.
On top of that, it puts so much strain on your life if you have to schedule every day around taking care of a pet so they don't go crazy being alone...
 

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I would think this was something to be ironed out as early as when you started dating.

I couldn't even date someone who didn't want pets let alone marry that person. I'd feel the same way if I didn't enjoy pets in my home.I couldn't date someone who wanted pets if I didnt. It's one of those issues that is very difficult to compromise on when you're living together.

I can tell you when SO and began dating he was leery of my choice for breed of dogs as well as the revolving door of foster dogs.
I told him up front,I will not change on this matter and I cannot compromise on it.He understood and gave the dogs and fosters a chance.
We now have 2 rescues of our own,one of them was a foster fail on his part LOL! he's also just as big of an advocate for the breed as I am;)

But it's still work.It's a lifestyle adjustment and can be very expensive at times. That's why I think if one or the other feels strongly for or against owning pets then there will be significant issues about this bc neither side is wrong.It's just a difference in preference and opinion.
 

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What does liking animals have to do with keeping them in your home? If someone really loved animals I don't think they would keep them trapped in their home for their own pleasure.
I would really like to have a cat since they're so independent and there's no feelings of guilt because they go in out if they want, but I'm allergic so it's not really an option.
On top of that, it puts so much strain on your life if you have to schedule every day around taking care of a pet so they don't go crazy being alone...
This sucks. You would like a cat but I get it. Being allergic means you sacrifice your like for your health.

Yes sure, people can get the shots etc., but that's not an option for everyone. Those treatments are expensive (we went through it so I know).
 
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