[underdog]

checking for various views/opinions on the topic.

I have been married going on approximately 19 years. The wife just up and stopped providing pleasure in the oral department even though I have no problem pleasing her.

She stopped doing the deed about a year and 1/2 ago. Shortly after my birthday was my last time to experience the subject matter at hand.

I am slightly suspicious that the reason she gave is just to cater to my ego and quiet me. I am suspicious because about a month later, in April, she starting talking about divorce. She then filed for divorce in Sept. 2011.

She stated that no woman should be asked to do such a thing, she has talked to other women in her life that claim they have never done the oral experience to a male. She said she can't stand the feeling or the texture of the end result of a happy ending. Also complained about the taste.

So, ladies - is it really a big deal?

Do you make a sacrifice and truly not enjoy the idea of pleasuring a man?

or

is it possible she found someone else and has made reservations for his party to have only?

or ....is their a third option I'm not aware of?

Thanks

 

[Maricha75]

I don't care for the taste (bitter), but I still love giving my husband oral. Your wife is taking the comments of a few she knows...it isn't how ALL women feel. She can't speak for the entire female population when saying it is demoralizing. This may be how SHE feels about it, but not ALL of us feel that way.

 

[nandosbella]

She knows married women who have never performed oral? Who the hell married them? I like it depending on how enthusiastic he is about it. If he's just laying there then its not worth it to me.

She's just feeding you excuses. Sounds like she had checked out once she started refusing you. Is it a big deal to me? Not really. If you're putting in as much effort as i am... I don't mind at all
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[JCD]

Sorry. My spouse seems to enjoy it a great deal. It's her favorite form of foreplay. Your wife is selective and self serving in her friends, it seems.

She's divorcing you? Good for her. Maybe you can do some comparision shopping to determine how many other women feel that way (You'll be pleasantly surprised, I think)

Might I suggest that hygeine is CRITICALLY important down there.

 

[KnK]

I give my husband oral sex but I actually do not like the feeling , taste etc. but I do however love the feeling I get knowing I am pleasuring him. He has never asked for it though. We talk about these things and he knows if I want to I will and if I don't I want so there is never a need to bring it up. It doesn't happen a lot but I do think it is selfish to receive and not give

 

[dubbizle]

I am not a woman but I wiould put down a large bet and say the next guys she dates she will give Oral to without even thinking about it because she will be trying to keep him.
If you ever meet the new guy after your divorce warn him about the future[lol].

 

[Rags]

My wife does it regularly, without being asked, and frequently orgasms while doing so. She's quite happy to finish that way, or to move on to something else from there.

She tells me how much she enjoys it, and genuinely seems to. And likes seeing herself in the mirror doing it. She's looked up techniques on how to do it, to improve (although I think she's great anyway.)

So, I'm sure it's not all women. Women are different. Some like to, some don't.

(Very glad mine does ... I'm very lucky.)

 

[Stonewall]

My wife does it regularly, without being asked, and frequently orgasms while doing so. She's quite happy to finish that way, or to move on to something else from there.

She tells me how much she enjoys it, and genuinely seems to. And likes seeing herself in the mirror doing it. She's looked up techniques on how to do it, to improve (although I think she's great anyway.)

So, I'm sure it's not all women. Women are different. Some like to, some don't.

(Very glad mine does ... I'm very lucky.)

ding ding ding you gotta winner there boy!!!!! Mine is the same way. She cares a lot about my pleasure and I hers.

 

[40isthenew20]

When I was younger (teenage years), the so-called 'good girls' would blow guys instead of banging them to not lose their virginity or screw someone they just started dating. So t wasn't viewed as a bad act, but almost a god one, in a weird (but good for us) way.

 

[JCD]

When I was younger (teenage years), the so-called 'good girls' would blow guys instead of banging them to not lose their virginity or screw someone they just started dating. So t wasn't viewed as a bad act, but almost a god one, in a weird (but good for us) way.

Technical virgins. Never had a man but could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Which sort of misses the point of virginity.

 

[wiigirl]

I really don't think it does. I personally enjoy oral and love how it makes my partner feel. I think its all attitude whether its a submissive or dominant act, not that there is anything wrong with either.

 

[AsTheStoryGoes]

Before I gained some experience in that department, I was unsure about it and thought it was a little demoralizing..but I was new at it and just opening the door. I started enjoying it once I became more comfortable doing it, more experienced, and received praise. Now i love it! It feels great to give that kind of pleasure to my husband, and for him to let me know how much he loves it. If he acted like it wasn't a big deal, I wouldn't like doing it as much. But his reaction is what I most love.

 

[unbelievable]

If she were really into her partner, she'd be on her knees more often than a confessing priest.

 

[needguidance]

I wouldnt trust her. I read somewhere recently and it makes perfect sense, oral sex is the biggest form of submission. Even the "goody two shoes" women will do it or women who have never tried. If your partner isnt willing to perform that on you then I'd let the divorce go through. Shes not 100% about you.

 

[kingsfan]

I give my husband oral sex but I actually do not like the feeling , taste etc. but I do however love the feeling I get knowing I am pleasuring him. He has never asked for it though. We talk about these things and he knows if I want to I will and if I don't I want so there is never a need to bring it up. It doesn't happen a lot but I do think it is selfish to receive and not give

How does this work out for you (as a couple)? Me and my fiancee have the same deal essentially, however frequency is a problem for me as it's something I'd like to get once a month, give or take, while she 'offers' maybe twice a year, if that, and have gone a year without at a time. Are you more compatible in terms of your desire to offer it versus his desire for it?

 

[3Xnocharm]

Who in the world are these "friends"?? I dont know a woman who DOESNT do it! Geez...

There is more going on here with her than she is saying, I am in agreement with letting the divorce go through as well. Obviously she has become very selfish, or has moved on to giving it to someone else. Do yourself a favor and let her go.

 

[PHTlump]

She stated that no woman should be asked to do such a thing, she has talked to other women in her life that claim they have never done the oral experience to a male. She said she can't stand the feeling or the texture of the end result of a happy ending. Also complained about the taste.

So, ladies - is it really a big deal?

While it's common for women to dislike the taste of semen, your wife is lying to you. She didn't want to do you anymore.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/images/SexualBehaviorPIc.jpg

 

[tjohnson]

I think as much as we hear from many women how it is not a a big deal there are others (mostly silent after a while) that have been conditioned to believe it to be gross, demeaning, or to badgirl/pornish.

I grew up in a medium size town that where the people were closed minded and mostly catholic. All of the local women i dated when i was younger viewed Oral (or doing it to completion) as a no go. Now keep in mind this was before the internet when women learned about what was right/wrong and acceptable from home, church and friends. It was not until moved and traveled and began to realize this attitude was not at all true for all women.

While i cannot say i was with enough women to do an experiment...I did find women of asian or latin backgrounds were more likely to be open to Oral (to completion andor as happy/ending to sex) and anal than other women. To me this confirmed the fact that these acts are not gross/uncompfortable in and of themselves but, rather that they are viewed this way because of the way women are brought up to feel about these things. To reiterate, if semen or having a D($k in your mouth or your butt were inherently uncomfortable or yucky then it would not matter where the women were from or their background. The fact that these factors DO impact these views suggests that....I digress.

To the original poster it sounds like there is more going on here than a lack of BJs. Your wife sounds like a pain and you are better off without her.

 

[KnK]

How does this work out for you (as a couple)? Me and my fiancee have the same deal essentially, however frequency is a problem for me as it's something I'd like to get once a month, give or take, while she 'offers' maybe twice a year, if that, and have gone a year without at a time. Are you more compatible in terms of your desire to offer it versus his desire for it?

With us it isn't exactly a deal of you get this and I get this at certain times. We just do what we want when we want. He enjoys performing oral sex on me and receives pleasure from my pleasure. For me I am not to enthused with giving but of course I do but I am not pressured to. There is no set time that I give that to him , although I know it is way more frequently that once a year, it's more like once every two or three months. He respects me and I him that's all it takes for us.

 

[Caribbean Man]

sounds alien to me.
I have never asked my wife or any woman before her for oral.

Saturday evening while I was dressing to leave home she looked at me in my jeans, no shirt on, looked into my eyes, smiled , sat on the bed and began to unbuckle & unzip.

During our years together she has NEVER complained, and has always initiated.
There is no " deal " stating frequency etc.
She just does it, and I never ask.
The only " discussion " we have ever had on it was when she asked me if I liked how she did it and how much I liked it.