i'm starting to think it's not worth it either. I hear a lot of "this is why men aren't going for marriage anymore" but I don't see the typical marriage arrangement of our society working well for me as a female either! It seems that to get married, I would have to give up all my independence, my friends, any sense of bodily autonomy, and accept a husband 'laying down the rules' (in 2013? wtf?). and to me that sounds like a prison sentence, not a healthy relationship.
I see so much isolation in the typical marriage, this idea that ONE person should be your whole world- to me that is unhealthy, sad, and scary. And unrealistic- no wonder marriages fail when you expect one person to fulfil every need you have and you are also expected to be that person's everything! It's not normal to not have friendships, or time to pursue hobbies/passions on your own. It's not normal or healthy to be joined at the hip with your partner such that you are smothering each other. But so much of society thinks that is normal and right, so for me, getting married would only happen if i met someone who didn't think like that.
Guys, guys, guys...it's easy to say these things, but remember that it's pledged and vowed at the altar "for better or for worse". "Worse" includes the horrible times when s/he just gets on your LAAAAAST nerve and you want to just throw in the towel! Remember that communication is the key to an amazing marriage! In mine, we don't always get along...but there is never a day that I would say I regret my decision! I think it helps to remember what the Bible says (whether you're Christian or not, it's good advice) when it says that love is patient and kind and cares for others more than itself, to list a few things. When I am struggling in my relationship, I try to remember that I told my wife I love her, and if I REALLY meant it, then I will work around whatever problem I'm having. We must realize and remember that TRUE "love" is not just a feeling to be gotten when everything is going great and a mushy, butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling! True love is that deepest caring for the other person--that unbreakable acceptance of them. Yes, marriage can be difficult and hard at times, the key is overcoming yourself first so that you can iron out relational problems. The argument of "we're incompatible" comes up SOOOO many times in marriage and divorce sessions and the thing that must be realized is that NO couple is compatible; let's look at the first major difference: the wife is a woman and the husband is a man. Women and men are INHERENTLY different, so they shouldn't look for someone the same as them! After all, to be truly compatible, you would be marrying a mirror-image of YOURSELF! Who in their right mind wants to do that‽‽‽ My advice, for what it is worth, is to hold on dearly to your love and ALWAYS remember that "love" isn't just feeling good in bed or getting all mushy! It's that deepest caring for the other...that "you have my heart". If you can prevail over this, then years to come, you will be that little old couple that knows what each other is thinking with just a smile: that couple that everyone looks at and thinks "Man, how did they EVER do that??? I want to be like them!" Well, that's all I've got for now about this!