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155 Posts
So, I posted on here a few nights ago, had initiated sex, husband turned me down. We've been married for three years. There have been many ups and downs in our sex life. The most we've gone without sex is 4 mths where I then discovered he had a porn addiction and was spending $ on online live cams. With some therapy we got through that phase. Now I can't get him to f*€k me for the life of me. It's quite hard to grasp that a hubby is doing the rejection. Hurtful too. I've become resentful and it's not doing my mind, body, or health any good.
Some people suggested he might be having an affair, in which I made it clear that I was absolutely sure he's not, as we are very open with one another when it comes to our electronic devices.
I stated the facts - he's jobless, stressed, and has used that factor as an excuse for no intimacy. When I initiated a few nights ago he refused me, said his "body was too tired and he just wanted to sleep".. Well it's been almost a week, he hasn't initiated and I sure as hell don't plan to initiate once more.
New info - we were laying in bed tonight, each one on our phones, he was supposed to be looking for jobs, Craigslist, monster, etc ... I hop on top of him, not trying to initiate at all, just being playful and affectionate, it's in my nature. So I'm showering him with kisses on his face, tugging at his hair, and so forth. He suggests get behind me (he's sleeping on his side) and massage my back a bit. I'm ok with that. I have a tendency to do that on my own without his request anyway. I hop behind him, he's still on his phone, on google, he's about to type something when the scroll box search history thingy pops up, and what do you know, he's been searching "showgirls in town" , nearest "bars and nightclubs".
I gotta mention he's been going out all week to "job search". He leaves for 7-8 hrs. Might I add his searches begin at 9pm and last until 3-4 am. He then continues to sleep throughout the day. Wakes up mid afternoon. And repeat. Well I've mentioned to him that his job searching from 9pm and up isn't going to get him anywhere. Now I'm starting to think he's not even job searching. Ugh. I really am frustrated. And so hurt. At the end of the rope. I would love to purchase a VAR but don't have the car to myself. It's either with him, or if I go out he's with me. Am I overreacting? Am I thinking too far into this? Has my resent for our lack of sex life started to make me hallucinate maybe?
Some people suggested he might be having an affair, in which I made it clear that I was absolutely sure he's not, as we are very open with one another when it comes to our electronic devices.
I stated the facts - he's jobless, stressed, and has used that factor as an excuse for no intimacy. When I initiated a few nights ago he refused me, said his "body was too tired and he just wanted to sleep".. Well it's been almost a week, he hasn't initiated and I sure as hell don't plan to initiate once more.
New info - we were laying in bed tonight, each one on our phones, he was supposed to be looking for jobs, Craigslist, monster, etc ... I hop on top of him, not trying to initiate at all, just being playful and affectionate, it's in my nature. So I'm showering him with kisses on his face, tugging at his hair, and so forth. He suggests get behind me (he's sleeping on his side) and massage my back a bit. I'm ok with that. I have a tendency to do that on my own without his request anyway. I hop behind him, he's still on his phone, on google, he's about to type something when the scroll box search history thingy pops up, and what do you know, he's been searching "showgirls in town" , nearest "bars and nightclubs".
I gotta mention he's been going out all week to "job search". He leaves for 7-8 hrs. Might I add his searches begin at 9pm and last until 3-4 am. He then continues to sleep throughout the day. Wakes up mid afternoon. And repeat. Well I've mentioned to him that his job searching from 9pm and up isn't going to get him anywhere. Now I'm starting to think he's not even job searching. Ugh. I really am frustrated. And so hurt. At the end of the rope. I would love to purchase a VAR but don't have the car to myself. It's either with him, or if I go out he's with me. Am I overreacting? Am I thinking too far into this? Has my resent for our lack of sex life started to make me hallucinate maybe?