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I have a mind that tells me when I see someone doing something perverted and they tell me that they aren’t really doing something perverted but that it is actually some wild and complex story that doesn’t really make any sense - I tend to believe it’s actually pervertedness.
But it does make sense… it’s not a complex story. You are my age… you need to get in touch with the younger generation… in a good way 😄
 

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But it does make sense… it’s not a complex story. You are my age… you need to get in touch with the younger generation… in a good way 😄
Nah, it’s easier to believe they kinda have the tingles for each other and dig checking each other out and smooching on each other.

I’m not judging or saying that’s bad or wrong or anything.

I just think it’s a little more far fetched to think they they are taking nakey pictures and kissing on each other because they have some body image issues.

What’s easier to believe, they have the warmies for each other and have some attraction for each other and wanted some smoochie time?

Of that they have some body image issues and believe that taking nudie pictures of each and making out with each other will be an effective coping mechanism?

Which is the more likely and which is the more far fetched explanation?

It’s kinda like when you have an only child and you hear a crash in kitchen and you walk in to find the cookie jar broken in several pieces with cookies on the floor but you know one is missing and the kid is standing in the middle of it all with cookie crumbs on his shirt,, but he says the dog was chasing the cat and the cat jumped up on the counter and tried to hide behind the cookie jar but pushed it off the counter onto the floor instead.

But yet the cat is asleep in a sunspot in the other room and the dog is a 14 year old arthritic golden retriever that’s never chased the cat before.

What is the simplest explanation?
 

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So I’m 29 (male) and I just started hanging out/dating someone who is 25 We met at a my favorite coffee shop.
What is the simplest explanation?
That the 25 yr. old thinks it's cute and alluring to allude to a 29 yr. old male that she kisses and stuff on a another girl.
Just this post worked for some of the guys on TAM, lol.
That's pretty much all that's happening.
 

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Wow, someone has great comments and is into this thread.

Very true for BOTH men and women.

People either rise or lower themselves to meet expectations.

If everyone were to heed red flags and and were more willing to say thanks but no thanks, that would probably motivate people to be better.
If someone is in the market for a spouse and father/mother of their children and someone to bring into their family and own property and joint finances together etc etc, they yes they NEED to look for red flags and heed them and not be afraid to walk away and keep looking.

But if someone is not looking for a spouse, coparent, life partner etc at this time, then the primary red flags they need to be looking for are open lesions, genital discharge and/or zip ties, duct tape, bleach and a shovel in the trunk of their car.

........It’s on him whether he sees this as any kind of disqualifier or not. It’s his perogative on whether he wants to continue a relationship with her or not.

This is why we date. We date as a means to get to know someone and find out if they are a good match for us or not.
A few thoughts on the above comments. First I agree that the OP gets to date and explore any relationship he desires that does not harm people or force them to do things they are uncomfortable with. As to red flags and people we initially date, I agree with the watch out for open genital lesions, discharge, zip ties and duct tape. However, some people mature as they get older. That means they may grow out of a "red flag" behavior they had at 25, by the time they reach the age of 30; at least that is my experience.

Which bring up another point that was discussed a lot several years ago pre-pandemic. The topic was telling women to stop looking for "Mr. Right" and start dating "Mr. Good-enough." And yes, that goes for Miss Right and Miss Good-enough as well. During the pandemic when dating was pretty difficult and folks were sheltering in place in a "bio-bubble" finding compatible people was even more of a challenge.

Studies have also shown that there are now more women in college then men and women prefer to marry men who are more educated and have better and higher status jobs. That means finding the "right" partner can be more difficult due to demographics.

While I agree when one is dating you really need to identify things you consider red flags, I also think you need to think about them, as to are these things your dating partner might grow out of. If so, you should remember them and should you decide if this is the person you want to marry, etc. then you really need to talk to them about these issue and make sure they are capable of outgrowing them.

It’s up to the OP and his goals and requirements and his selection criteria.

For some people, anything deviating from the straight-and-narrow is an instant deal breaker.

If I were in the OP’s shoes, I’d say to invite the friend over for drinks, then everyone get naked and kiss and see what comes up.

So point here is this is why we date. We date as a selection and interview process to get to know someone to see if they are a right fit for us or not.

If someone is looking for a sweet and pure virgin that has never engaged in any kind of prior sexual exploration or anything the Vatican would frown upon to bring home to mom and be the mother of their children - then their selection criteria and standards are going to be different than someone like me who has no interest in raising kids again but would always be up for a FMF 3way.

The guy looking for a virgin bride to plant babies in may send this gal packing because she’s not what he’s looking for.

A guy like me would send the virgin looking for a white picket fence, someone to support her and plant babies in her packing and I would tell this gal to call her friend and pick up a couple bottles of wine and a bottle of massage oil and come on over to my place 😉 💕
My goodness, where to start. I think we all know what would come up if they all got naked, kissed and drank a lot of wine.

My advice to the OP, is if he believes the "line" about her having body issues as to why she is sending naked pictures to her girlfriend, I have another suggestion. Since he is several years older and probably better off financially and since she is OK with naked pictures, he has a perfect opportunity to show this younger woman how to kick things up several notches. I would give her a present (Christmas would probably be good) for a boudoir photography experience with a female photographer. The whole 9 yards, hair, make-up, costumes, etc. What a professional photographer can do with light, shadow, posing and angles, can dispell just about any woman's body image issues. I would wager that she will treasure those photos of her youth at 25 for decades to come and remember the man who inspired her. Besides they would likely be much more tasteful and beautiful.

Then after the photos come back, invite his girlfriend over (and depending on what he feels comfortable with, invite her girlfriend over) to look at both the boudoir photos and the older naked photos while sharing a couple of fine bottles of wine.

Nah, it’s easier to believe they kinda have the tingles for each other and dig checking each other out and smooching on each other.

......(or) that they have some body image issues and believe that taking nudie pictures of each and making out with each other will be an effective coping mechanism?

Which is the more likely and which is the more far fetched explanation? .........
I believe that is potentially a simpler explanation. However, I also hypothesized two alternate explanations earlier. The first was that she really liked him, knew those photos were out there and wanted to be honest with him from the get-go so some secrete girl-girl thing would not come out and ruin a relationship she wanted to build. The second is that she wanted to use the concept of dating "shock & awe" to make the OP look at her much differently. Specifically, that she was a very sexy, desirable, sex machine. I also think that those are plausible explanations.

And yes, I agree that virginity is highly over-rated. I feel that fidelity, commitment to work through problems, ethics, life goals, and matching sexual desire/libido are things that need to be much more highly rated and considered in a potential partner.

And yes a 3-some before age 30 could be one of those life experiences that could cause the OP smile about on his death-bed.

Again, great comments. I think that the OP has by his questions tapped into the collective experience of much of TAM.
 
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