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She also has kissed this person.

So what?... so maybe OP wants to date a woman who doesn't kiss her friends or deal with insecurities by exchanging full nudes with others.

If that's her tendency imagine how she might handle insecurities down the line.

OP can definitely find a different girlfriend who does not kiss in a sexual way her close girlfriends or exchange full nudes because "insecurities".
The OP said he hasn't been cheated on and he is not worried about that. Of course he can find himself another girlfriend. But maybe he loves this one.
 

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The OP said he hasn't been cheated on and he is not worried about that. Of course he can find himself another girlfriend. But maybe he loves this one.
I wouldn't see a down side to dating her. They're only dating at this point. I've said this before, and it applies every dang time....sometimes dating will turn out to be more, sometimes just fades away but either direction is a normal progression. Life goes on. Expect either and one will always be ok. Every circumstance isn't a tragedy.
 

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The OP said he hasn't been cheated on and he is not worried about that. Of course he can find himself another girlfriend. But maybe he loves this one.
He just started hanging out with her, and said he's bothered by it.

Just an observation: if men paid more attention to red flags and terminated early dating situations in which there were red flags, they wouldn't later end up knee deep in bad situations down the line.
 

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...she and her “best friend” (a girl) send each other nude photos of themselves (With faces). Something about feeling insecure about their body and needing confidence.
It's the EXACT same thing as if she was exchanging these with a guy. It really is. It's normalized behavior for her. Like, "no big deal". Why degrade herself for compliments, Why have a wayward mindset already at here age?

I wouldn't consider her for a LTR if I were you. Either have as good a time possible while you can without commitment , or if you have higher standards for yourself, end it now. There's simply no valid reason to send non intimate people intimate pictures.

When/If you break it off maybe tell her how pathetic it is to be so insecure and in need of validation as to need 🔥 emojis and "dam girl!" complements on her latest sneak peak.

I have daughters and have unfortunately dealt with how the dark side of this sharing works. No matter how good a friend the person she shared the pics with is, there is a significant chance those pics could become "trading cards", further degrading her.
 

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He just started hanging out with her, and said he's bothered by it.

Just an observation: if men paid more attention to red flags and terminated early dating situations in which there were red flags, they wouldn't later end up knee deep in bad situations down the line.
In post #85 he says he hasn't been cheated on (this is a general comment) and that he is not worried about it, meaning he is not worried that his girlfriend is going to cheat on him. Am I reading it wrong? I can see that the situation is not terribly straightforward, but if he is not worried that his girlfriend is going to cheat on him and he accepts that she is trying to overcome her insecurities with the nude pics, maybe he can get to a place in his head where he can be ok?
 

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Just an observation: if men paid more attention to red flags and terminated early dating situations in which there were red flags, they wouldn't later end up knee deep in bad situations down the line.
Very true for BOTH men and women.

People either rise or lower themselves to meet expectations.

If everyone were to heed red flags and and were more willing to say thanks but no thanks, that would probably motivate people to be better.
 

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He just started hanging out with her, and said he's bothered by it.

Just an observation: if men paid more attention to red flags and terminated early dating situations in which there were red flags, they wouldn't later end up knee deep in bad situations down the line.
It must be just me but OP is too worried about this whole thing at this point in their dating.
 

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In post #85 he says he hasn't been cheated on (this is a general comment) and that he is not worried about it, meaning he is not worried that his girlfriend is going to cheat on him. Am I reading it wrong? I can see that the situation is not terribly straightforward, but if he is not worried that his girlfriend is going to cheat on him and he accepts that she is trying to overcome her insecurities with the nude pics, maybe he can get to a place in his head where he can be ok?
So what if he hasn't been cheated on? That had nothing to do with if he's comfortable, as a 29 year old man, continuing to have a relationship with someone who sends full nudes to a friend she has kissed.

Why does he need to get into a place in his head to accept this behavior?

They just started dating. It's easy to terminate this relationship, and find someone who doesn't have insecurities she deals with by exchanging full nudes with someone she has been sexual with.

At his age, 29, no way would I have continued dating a dude who kissed his friend and then was exchanging full nudes with him, whether I thought he would cheat on me or not.

Have higher standards if you (general you) want a high quality relationship.
 

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So what if he hasn't been cheated on? That had nothing to do with if he's comfortable, as a 29 year old man, continuing to have a relationship with someone who sends full nudes to a friend she has kissed.

Why does he need to get into a place in his head to accept this behavior?

They just started dating. It's easy to terminate this relationship, and find someone who doesn't have insecurities she deals with by exchanging full nudes with someone she has been sexual with.

At his age, 29, no way would I have continued dating a dude who kissed his friend and then was exchanging full nudes with him, whether I thought he would cheat on me or not.

Have higher standards if you (general you) want a high quality relationship.
He is come here for advice. I'm trying to give him a different perspective. It might help him to make his mind up. Personally, despite the "red flags", if I really liked the girl and felt very compatible, I would at least have a go at the relationship.
 

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He is come here for advice. I'm trying to give him a different perspective. It might help him to make his mind up. Personally, despite the "red flags", if I really liked the girl and felt very compatible, I would at least have a go at the relationship.
I guess some people heed red flags more than others.
 

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If she is doing it because she is insecure about her body, you should be happy she is finding support through a friend. Sure, it's not the most orthodox way of dealing with it, but if it helps her, so what?

This whole insecurity thing is likely just a girl excuse and cover story.

A more plausible explanation is they dig it and get off on it more than it being some complex coping mechanism for body image issues.

The simpler explanation is almost always the most accurate and pervyness is almost always the simplest.
 

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I guess some people heed red flags more than others.
If someone is in the market for a spouse and father/mother of their children and someone to bring into their family and own property and joint finances together etc etc, they yes they NEED to look for red flags and heed them and not be afraid to walk away and keep looking.

But if someone is not looking for a spouse, coparent, life partner etc at this time, then the primary red flags they need to be looking for are open lesions, genital discharge and/or zip ties, duct tape, bleach and a shovel in the trunk of their car.

This gal has not broken any laws or harmed any puppies. She had some kind of quasi erotic experience with some other chick at some point.

It’s on him whether he sees this as any kind of disqualifier or not. It’s his perogative on whether he wants to continue a relationship with her or not.

This is why we date. We date as a means to get to know someone and find out if they are a good match for us or not.
 

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It must be just me but OP is too worried about this whole thing at this point in their dating.

At what point should he think about it? When he's in deep in a relationship with her and it's harder to terminate it?
It’s up to the OP and his goals and requirements and his selection criteria.

For some people, anything deviating from the straight-and-narrow is an instant deal breaker.

If I were in the OP’s shoes, I’d say to invite the friend over for drinks, then everyone get naked and kiss and see what comes up.

So point here is this is why we date. We date as a selection and interview process to get to know someone to see if they are a right fit for us or not.

If someone is looking for a sweet and pure virgin that has never engaged in any kind of prior sexual exploration or anything the Vatican would frown upon to bring home to mom and be the mother of their children - then their selection criteria and standards are going to be different than someone like me who has no interest in raising kids again but would always be up for a FMF 3way.

The guy looking for a virgin bride to plant babies in may send this gal packing because she’s not what he’s looking for.

A guy like me would send the virgin looking for a white picket fence, someone to support her and plant babies in her packing and I would tell this gal to call her friend and pick up a couple bottles of wine and a bottle of massage oil and come on over to my place 😉 💕
 

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This whole insecurity thing is likely just a girl excuse and cover story.

A more plausible explanation is they dig it and get off on it more than it being some complex coping mechanism for body image issues.

The simpler explanation is almost always the most accurate and pervyness is almost always the simplest.
You have a very dirty mind... :ROFLMAO:
 

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It’s up to the OP and his goals and requirements and his selection criteria.

For some people, anything deviating from the straight-and-narrow is an instant deal breaker.

If I were in the OP’s shoes, I’d say to invite the friend over for drinks, then everyone get naked and kiss and see what comes up.

So point here is this is why we date. We date as a selection and interview process to get to know someone to see if they are a right fit for us or not.

If someone is looking for a sweet and pure virgin that has never engaged in any kind of prior sexual exploration or anything the Vatican would frown upon to bring home to mom and be the mother of their children - then their selection criteria and standards are going to be different than someone like me who has no interest in raising kids again but would always be up for a FMF 3way.

The guy looking for a virgin bride to plant babies in may send this gal packing because she’s not what he’s looking for.

A guy like me would send the virgin looking for a white picket fence, someone to support her and plant babies in her packing and I would tell this gal to call her friend and pick up a couple bottles of wine and a bottle of massage oil and come on over to my place 😉 💕
A man can be looking for a long term relationship not with a virgin bride and still have standards, you know? There are wonderful young women out there who aren't virgins, who are sexual beings, who aren't sending nudes to female friends and kissing them. It's not either one or the other.
 

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At what point should he think about it? When he's in deep in a relationship with her and it's harder to terminate it?
That's a good point. Which brings up a better point....some folks that get all over invested after a couple dates......shouldn't.

If the first three or four dates or so everything is good, no red flags AT ALL.....then ok, dive in.

But if things are flaky from jumpstreet just enjoy the ride as long as it may last. Be the fun guy she'll remember. Let her be herself, vice-versa.

Then like the songs'.. .just kiss and say goodbye.....and the other song......two outta three ain't bad.

And move on, having enjoyed each others company for that little while you had.
 

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He is come here for advice. I'm trying to give him a different perspective. It might help him to make his mind up. Personally, despite the "red flags", if I really liked the girl and felt very compatible, I would at least have a go at the relationship.
Threesome?
 

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You have a very dirty mind... :ROFLMAO:
I have a mind that tells me when I see someone doing something perverted and they tell me that they aren’t really doing something perverted but that it is actually some wild and complex story that doesn’t really make any sense - I tend to believe it’s actually pervertedness.
 

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A man can be looking for a long term relationship not with a virgin bride and still have standards, you know? There are wonderful young women out there who aren't virgins, who are sexual beings, who aren't sending nudes to female friends and kissing them. It's not either one or the other.
Correct but that further proves my point.

Each person gets to pick what is and what is not acceptable to them.

There are some people for which any kind of same-sex contact is a deal breaker.

Some guys are ok with their partner doing girl-girl stuff as it’s not another dude.

And some guys actually want a bisexual woman.

And again, this is why we date; it’s so we can find out these things about the other.
 
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