[Anondude]

There is never a day that I stay out to all hours of the night drinking or hanging out with other people. I always come home, I am in a particular Lodge Group that believes in ethics and charity. Sometimes I go to the Lodge but am never out past 10 pm. Sometimes my contributions to the house suffers and I get nagged at about that, which I feel that I deserve. But here lately I have been dealing with a women who acts like I do those things mentioned above. I am always being scolded about where I am or why I am not spending time with her (The couple of times I go out). I always spend time with her. ALWAYS. Today I got off early from work and stopped at the gym before picking up our son. I am being asked like a little kid if I picked him up, I told her no, well then why didnt I pick him up yet. I am being treated like a child by this women and today I had enough. I told her to knock it off, explain her trust issues. She claims she really trust me and then flips it as my fault to make me feel bad. Now I just don't "understand" her. Its my fault I don't understand her. I refuse to play into this anymore. Can somebody tell me what I am missing here? Is it me? Or is she just controlling? Is she insecure? Is she ok to act like I am irresponsible with our kid when I never have done anything to give anybody that impression? What am i not understanding. Any help is greatly appreciated.

 

[anotherguy]

So. How old is your son and how often do you go to the 'lodge'?

Sounds like she thinks you are not home enough, and you don't feel that way.
Being home before 10 doesn't matter if she feels like you are just going out to have fun while she is at home taking care of everything. Do you ever stay home with the kid and she gets to go out?

If you deserve it, as you say because you have been neglecting things at home - it's not 'nagging', it is her telling you that you are neglecting things at home. Simple. Ethics and charity? Doesn't matter... Talk to me about your family life first - everything else, like the 'lodge' is secondary.