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Discussion Starter #1
After some thinking, I would like to offer some real life advice to the army of sexless husbands here.

For whatever reason (besides to most extreme cases) women go through the motions and our SD's drop off. Be it kids, work, endless responsibility, constantly emptying our cups to fill our husbands, resentment can build bitterness ect ect. So I'm going give some general tips on how my husband got laid during my off period.

"the longer then 5 minute back rub" - technique is a simple one if your wife is a side or tummy sleeper it's easier cause you can just start it without asking.
Begin back rub, deep muscle massage, shoulders and lower back (especially appreciated if your wife has a toddler she carries all day) focus on back and shoulders, do NOT go near breasts. After paying close attention to back, move lower for foot and calves. DO NOT GO PAST KNEES.
Make her feet tingle in contentment, resume back massage if your wife is physically relaxed IE either leaning into you or slumps shoulders and dead weight on bed this is good.

Make your move, slowly, instead of rubbing, caress, kisses down the spine and across the shoulders, or wife personal preference, by this time wife will suspect, put hand in either back of her neck or in her hair be forceful but gentle, resume kissing of neck and shoulders. If wife receptive move forward.

The point of this is to let your wife know its about the massage not the love making, it's not even about the time invested in the foreplay, but in the time before the foreplay.

So I know other ladies have some lessons that ummm melt their defenses.

Also side note, reverse thinking works, my close male friend told me that he once told his wife that she probably couldn't even get him hard anymore she was so out of practice, needless to say she
f ucked him silly, and he wore a smirk for two days.
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If she is repulsed by her H's touch, no amount of backrubbing will get her aroused.

I think sexless marriages often have a lot more wrong than a woman with low sex drive.
 

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If you are living in a sexless marriage I don't think a back rub is going to cut it. That, to me, sounds like advice for couples going through the normal ups and downs regarding their sex life and trying to get back on track.
 

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I explicitly say expecting the most extreme cases, which I'm sorry to say is not what is happening in majority of post made by husbands on the board. Not every single woman is clincally depressed or has hormonal issues or is sexually repressed in some way. What would be safer to say is that wives have tuned out for due to a lack in the relationship with husband.
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If I didn't feel like sex/wasnt attracted to husband for whatever reason and I KNEW he was giving me a massage because he wanted sex I would feel pretty perturbed and perhaps even like he was trying to manipulate me...

Massages are good... Especially when there's no expectation of anything in return. Being a regular occurrence can't hurt. :)
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If I didn't feel like sex/wasnt attracted to husband for whatever reason and I KNEW he was giving me a massage because he wanted sex I would feel pretty perturbed and perhaps even like he was trying to manipulate me...

Massages are good... Especially when there's no expectation of anything in return. Being a regular occurrence can't hurt. :)
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Exactly the point being if wife not receptive to its time to cash out your chips for another night, the point is the massage.
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Discussion Starter #8
-face palm-
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Beautiful

Works well for us and has for 20 years[
/QUOTE]
:iagree:


Worked for us too.....

Sometimes giving her a hot , relaxing shower massage, [ there's a liquid soap she likes to use that has some kind os gritty,salty stuff in it. She likes it on her back & shoulders.] .
Also soaking with her in the bathtub.

These guys don't know what they're missing!;)
 

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Thanks for the advice. I try to give her massages, most of the time without making advances. When I do make an advance, it's been called a "selfish" attempt at having sex. I'll redirect her line of thinking to note that it's an attempt at a mutual experience, not just my needs.
 

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After some thinking, I would like to offer some real life advice to the army of sexless husbands here.

For whatever reason (besides to most extreme cases) women go through the motions and our SD's drop off. Be it kids, work, endless responsibility, constantly emptying our cups to fill our husbands, resentment can build bitterness ect ect. So I'm going give some general tips on how my husband got laid during my off period.

"the longer then 5 minute back rub" - technique is a simple one if your wife is a side or tummy sleeper it's easier cause you can just start it without asking.
Begin back rub, deep muscle massage, shoulders and lower back (especially appreciated if your wife has a toddler she carries all day) focus on back and shoulders, do NOT go near breasts. After paying close attention to back, move lower for foot and calves. DO NOT GO PAST KNEES.
Make her feet tingle in contentment, resume back massage if your wife is physically relaxed IE either leaning into you or slumps shoulders and dead weight on bed this is good.

Make your move, slowly, instead of rubbing, caress, kisses down the spine and across the shoulders, or wife personal preference, by this time wife will suspect, put hand in either back of her neck or in her hair be forceful but gentle, resume kissing of neck and shoulders. If wife receptive move forward.

The point of this is to let your wife know its about the massage not the love making, it's not even about the time invested in the foreplay, but in the time before the foreplay.

So I know other ladies have some lessons that ummm melt their defenses.

Also side note, reverse thinking works, my close male friend told me that he once told his wife that she probably couldn't even get him hard anymore she was so out of practice, needless to say she
f ucked him silly, and he wore a smirk for two days.
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No thanks. I'm interested in a woman who wants sex with me as much as I do with her. If I wanted to spend all that time warming something up, I'd buy an old Buick.

I'm over some women acting like it's a man's job to give CPR to their lifeless vaginas. If your sex drive is gone, and it's gone for a long period of time, because you're too tired, too stressed, and have prioritized everything above your husband, and your vitally unimportant sex life with him, then that's YOUR responsibility.

Back & body rubs, where you're suppose to pretend there is no sexual intent, might work on a one off time. Those are perfect for the couple who has regular, satisfying sex, and you just need to jump start the occasional stall. But this is far, far from the cure for a real sexless marriage. That runs a lot deeper.
 
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