Hi .. I am new to forums and really would like some advice. I have been married for almost 9 years and together for 12. We have two beautiful children. After the birth of number two, we really disconnected. Found ourselves heading in different directions and our paths not crossing much ... kinda like two ships sailing in the night sky. We both started our own interests and unfortunately as part of my interest I met someone and immediately connected. That was over 18 months ago now. What started as simple texting, developed into an emotional affair and has been an intimate affair for a long while. Over the period of the affair I have tried in vein to cut ties with the other person, I have been to counselling with my husband and really just tried to forget that I did something so dreadful and terrible. The fact is I have really grown to love the other person and whilst I care immensly for my husband, I am no longer in love with him. I decided finally that perhaps a trial separation is in order, my husband is being very understanding as we both just want the absolute best for the kids. As part of this trial separation, the other person has said he will stand by me and "catch me when I fall" ... yet he is still active on a dating website. I know I have caused him pain by not making a decision about my marriage ... but what if I am making a huge mistake, throwing away my life with my kids and my husband for someone that is not being completely honest with me. How will I ever know what is the right choice to make until I've ruined everyone's lives ... I am really confused and upset. I know I am a bad person, so please don't judge me anymore that I already judge myself. Thanks to anyone for listening.