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This could just me being bitter because of what I've gone through but why is it that cheaters are ALWAYS sorry when caught, so so sorry. It just strikes me a total bull**** tbh. but then that could just be me. thoughts?
 

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Chopsy, we understand that you're in pain with infidelity. Heck, there are a LOT of us here who are. However, starting multiple threads to say pretty much the same thing won't help because it dilutes your background and story and looks like you're just attention seeking.

People are people. Doesn't matter if they're cheaters, the best spouse in the world, rich, poor...you name it - every single one is different. As Hope said some ARE sorry for the pain they caused, my wife Regret being one of them. Then there are others that are only sorry they GOT caught. I don't name names, however.
 

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The beat way for them to be truly sorry for the affair, is for them to face the full consequences of the affair. Which, in my mind, means they lose marriage and all the good stuff that goes with it. Completely. Immediately. But that rarely happens.

The next best way for them to be truly sorry for the affair, is for them to get stuck with their affair partner. :)

With kids involved, the waters are very muddy. The BS never gets "justice" they forever live with a black eye. Some just accept it better than others... ;)
 

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It's ok to have those days...I struggle with that same question. Sorry to get caught seems the first response...true remorse is more rare..although I do know there are many WS that felt intense fear and guilt while conducting the affairs. I can't even imagine having to live the double life......example


I got caught in a small white lie to my spouse.(non affair related)....when he asked me about something, I lied.....and the instant I did a surge of Adrenalin rushed through me. I went into a panic in my head. I was so horrified that I lied to him and confronted and was ready to confess right away then he walked off. The issue never got brought up...and in that moment I knew I could never carry on a affair with all the lies and secrets knowing that at any moment you can be caught. Even reflecting on how it felt to be confronted about my small lie sends me right back to that space.

It was so scary so I can't imagine what living a lie can do to someone mentally even if the affair carries excitement, lust and a rush of living.....I would think the burden would take a toll as well.
 
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