Ive posted the story before.....so i wont re hash that again.....its been roughly 2 weeks since we had our last all out divorce fight...where she agreed she had to make sure there was no doubt about wanting a divorce so we "she" is working thru her feelings.....we sleep in the same bed...we talk......I say I love you she says I know and thank you.....I miss her .....its like we are 1000000 miles apart from each other when sitting int eh same room.......now ive found that shes changed passwords to both landline and cell phone accounts...when confronted she said those were her last things of privacy that she has and i need to trust her...really......so here i sit ready to go to counciling session #2 and wondering if im spinning my wheels......she seems to care...sometimes.....and other times seems cold and rigid.....her affair partner swears that he is working on his own relationship and has no interests what so ever with my wife.......nothing i can do but try to believe her at this point right? she holds the cards. how long do i wait and see......how long can it take a person to crack the door to their heart and let a person who LOVES them back in.....18 years..we had together she cheats and im the one holding on for dear life......yes im weak and pathetic...but i love her.....i cried out int he garage the otehr day because of a song that come on that reminded me of her...she caught me crying and said knock it off and walked away.......is that a sign im missing....am i so messed up that my common sense has disappeared and im missing the big picture.....maybe I need to go.....my kids will forgive me one day i pray.....is there an success stories out there.....
She has no interest in staying with you at this point. At this point, she is simply tolerating your presence. The only thing she's "working through" is how long she has to keep up this charade of "thinking about things" which is actually nothing more than her getting her affairs in order so she can leave (or keeping you on the backburner while she decides if she really wants the other man) and letting you down as easy as she can.
Why are you sleeping in the same bed with a woman who is spreading for someone else?
Why was she not out on her azz in the cold the second she secured her phone and accounts with a passowrd?
Why are you crying around her? You shouldn't even be near her.
You are displaying yourself as an incredibly weak person that has no sense of self worth to her. She KNOWS what she's doing is very much worth of getting kicked to the curb and divorced. She KNOWS you should be doing that. And you're not. And she detests you for it.
She's supposed to be your woman. To protect from evil and from other men. And you have shown a complete inability and unwillingness to do so. Sorry, brutal time pal, but no wonder she's screwing someone else.
And she is, right now, screwing this other guy. And then coming home to you. She thinks she can lay in the marital bed with another mans semen in her because you allow it. Because she sees you as weak and pathetic.
Until you stop allowing it, it will continue. And you'll get more and more crushed every day.
You have but one chance. One. Kick her out, change the locks, and secure marital assets so she can't get to it and blow it on a good time with her other guy.
Do you really want to be her backup plan? Until you show her you're not anyones backup plan, that's all you'll ever be to her...at best.
You've done a lot of damage by allowing this. You may not be able to recover from it. But if there's a chance you can, you'd better start now.
It should be HER asking these questions about YOU! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
