labor day weekend i caught my wife of 15 years in a year long affair...I moved out for a few days to deal with this..and then returned she said she wanted to work on things in the marriage and move on...I told her i forgave her and would swallow this to move forward...i am stupidly,hopelessly in love with my wife.....I again caught them talkin on the phone and texting....and a month ago they "hooked' up and again i caight them....each time we fight and i forgive......the past 5 years for us has been tough with my health issues which led to financial issues as well.....I had a small addiction to pain killers which made me withdraw from the family alittle.....she is saying that my withdrawl caused her to seek affection elsewhere.....we have both began counciling but the feeling i get from her and her words have me believeing its more to sort her life out as opposed to saving the marriage.......our 3 daughters are caught in the middle of this yo yo act she is doing to me.....last week she wanted a divorce and told me she couldnt pretend anymore......when we made love she sometimes dreamed it was this other guy....and when we said i love you to each other she didnt mean it........she used the i love you but not in love with you card.....she told me i was overwhelming her with affection so now i basically have to ask to hold her or kiss her and let her decide if shes in the right mood to touch me.....we have a LONG history together a nice home.....some toys and 3 wonderful children and she still has conflictions about what she wants......how do i stay positive and up beat while she is deciding my fate? our fate...our familys fate......i am very hard at work to fix my flaws and she says she has noticed a huge turnaround....but then follows that with....what if its too late to fix this? I remind her of the vows we took...and she shrugs them off.......when did marriage become a disposable item...? After all SHE has done and after all I have forgave....she still holds the keys to our future...am i wrong to stay here? to keep forgiving......she has stripped me of everything i though i had......everything i wanted to be......ive dropped 30 pounds in the last couple months, cried more than i have in 20 years.....Im empty....what do i do>?