Tell your friend to read some of the stories here and tell him to man up and tell her no more gnos till all hours in the morning.So I just have to comment as I keep seeing posts about problems after Girls/Guys Nights Out. And just recently a friend of mine told me his wife came home from a girls night out drunk off her a$$ and with a big ol' hickey on her neck!
What is wrong with people? :scratchhead:
You plan a night out at the bars/clubs, without your spouse, in order to relive your youth or days gone by (i.e. when you were single and on the prowl). You get dressed up, you drink too much and then somehow you and your spouse are surprised when things take a bad turn? Really? Reeeeaaally?
YOU ARE MARRIED. ACT LIKE IT.
Does it mean never socializing with your girlfriends or the guys? No. But it does mean socializing with your girlfriends or the guys in appropriate venues and social situations. Go out for dinner, go shopping, go golfing, go see a movie.
Don't go dancing at a club. Don't go hanging out at a bar til 1:00 am. Don't head to the strip club.
And yes, I know bad things can still happen when these "innocent" activities are on the docket. But I am venturing a guess that it is far less likely to happen than when a spouse gets clearance from the tower to ***** it up.
So all you spouses out there, do NOT enable or allow this behavior. Set the boundary and demand it be adhered to. If someone wants to relive their single life one night a month, and you allow it, be prepared for them to see it through.
So It It Just Me, Or Has the World Lost Its Damn Mind?
So I just have to comment as I keep seeing posts about problems after Girls/Guys Nights Out. And just recently a friend of mine told me his wife came home from a girls night out drunk off her a$$ and with a big ol' hickey on her neck!
What is wrong with people? :scratchhead:
You plan a night out at the bars/clubs, without your spouse, in order to relive your youth or days gone by (i.e. when you were single and on the prowl). You get dressed up, you drink too much and then somehow you and your spouse are surprised when things take a bad turn? Really? Reeeeaaally?
YOU ARE MARRIED. ACT LIKE IT.
Does it mean never socializing with your girlfriends or the guys? No. But it does mean socializing with your girlfriends or the guys in appropriate venues and social situations. Go out for dinner, go shopping, go golfing, go see a movie.
Don't go dancing at a club. Don't go hanging out at a bar til 1:00 am. Don't head to the strip club.
And yes, I know bad things can still happen when these "innocent" activities are on the docket. But I am venturing a guess that it is far less likely to happen than when a spouse gets clearance from the tower to ***** it up.
So all you spouses out there, do NOT enable or allow this behavior. Set the boundary and demand it be adhered to. If someone wants to relive their single life one night a month, and you allow it, be prepared for them to see it through.
What is wrong with people? :scratchhead:
You plan a night out at the bars/clubs, without your spouse, in order to relive your youth or days gone by (i.e. when you were single and on the prowl). You get dressed up, you drink too much and then somehow you and your spouse are surprised when things take a bad turn? Really? Reeeeaaally?
YOU ARE MARRIED. ACT LIKE IT.
Does it mean never socializing with your girlfriends or the guys? No. But it does mean socializing with your girlfriends or the guys in appropriate venues and social situations. Go out for dinner, go shopping, go golfing, go see a movie.
Don't go dancing at a club. Don't go hanging out at a bar til 1:00 am. Don't head to the strip club.
And yes, I know bad things can still happen when these "innocent" activities are on the docket. But I am venturing a guess that it is far less likely to happen than when a spouse gets clearance from the tower to ***** it up.
So all you spouses out there, do NOT enable or allow this behavior. Set the boundary and demand it be adhered to. If someone wants to relive their single life one night a month, and you allow it, be prepared for them to see it through.
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Tell your friend to read some of the stories here and tell him to man up and tell her no more gnos till all hours in the morning.
I happen to do girls night out once and awhile, but the sad fact is that I am the one pulling the married women away from other men. It is very rare that people have enough bounderies to behave on BNO or GNO. And who the hell want to relive their single days. I relish that fact that I am married almost 14 yrs and have 3 great kids. They define every fiber of my being. Why chance losing that on an "EGO BOOST"? Just being asked if I am married and told I am pretty is enough. I DO NOT want/need some man hanging on me or kissing me to know my value.
Its like when you buy a new car, you start to see that same car all over the place.
Hanging out in this forum is the same thing. Thats all you see, but actually there are lots of folks with happy and healty marriages that don't go on forums cuz they didn't get screwed over by there spouse.
Hanging out in this forum is the same thing. Thats all you see, but actually there are lots of folks with happy and healty marriages that don't go on forums cuz they didn't get screwed over by there spouse.
Abosulutely right theguy....I found this site because of my FWH.
I think it was there and we didn't see it before. Now our eyes are opened and we are seeing it everywhere because it is everywhere.Its like when you buy a new car, you start to see that same car all over the place.
Hanging out in this forum is the same thing. Thats all you see, but actually there are lots of folks with happy and healty marriages that don't go on forums cuz they didn't get screwed over by there spouse.
Maybe it's just me, but when I was originally single, and now single again, guys night out was not an occasion in which I stood/stand any chance of getting any action. I fly solo for that. What they HELL do you people do when you go out with your friends???
For me, a GNO would be either a dinner, movie, coffee or drinks and home by 11.30. If I wanted to party and visit night clubs, I'd be single.
It sure seems like it to me.
More and more people don't respect marriage and commitment anymore. They don't stand by the promises and vows they make. They have no respect for themselves or others. To many, love is just a feeling and when it fades or changes from the infatuation stage to committed love and everyday life, they get bored and start looking for excitement elsewhere. The constant bombardment from TV, movies and social media tells them this is missing from their lives. To others it is simply unrealistic expectations of marriage itself.
Being a cheater in today's society doesn't carry the stigma and shame that it once did. We don't stone cheaters or make them wear a scarlet letter. You are no longer an outcast shunned by society. There are more and more "friends" that will understand, sympathize and rally around cheaters. Today, it is easier to cheat…and much more fun and exciting then doing any actual work and repairing what you already have.
It is also about instant gratification. Impatient people don't want to wait for the return on their investments…so to speak. They want results immediately. Cultivating and putting effort into a relationship takes time and effort. No-fault divorce has made it so much easier for those who never did put much effort into anything in their lives. This is the age where every kid gets a trophy…even if he loses. We are creating adults that feel entitled to everything without having to work for it themselves.
The unfaithful thought process is "There must be something more then this" And the selfish "I deserve more". I also believe that most people live their loves with the disposable philosophy..."if it's old or broke...get a new one because that is easier…and would make me happy. Happiness no longer comes from hard work and personal achievement...it's been externalized.
In the end we are becoming a super-selfish society…it's all about us and our own wants and desires….IMHO.
More and more people don't respect marriage and commitment anymore. They don't stand by the promises and vows they make. They have no respect for themselves or others. To many, love is just a feeling and when it fades or changes from the infatuation stage to committed love and everyday life, they get bored and start looking for excitement elsewhere. The constant bombardment from TV, movies and social media tells them this is missing from their lives. To others it is simply unrealistic expectations of marriage itself.
Being a cheater in today's society doesn't carry the stigma and shame that it once did. We don't stone cheaters or make them wear a scarlet letter. You are no longer an outcast shunned by society. There are more and more "friends" that will understand, sympathize and rally around cheaters. Today, it is easier to cheat…and much more fun and exciting then doing any actual work and repairing what you already have.
It is also about instant gratification. Impatient people don't want to wait for the return on their investments…so to speak. They want results immediately. Cultivating and putting effort into a relationship takes time and effort. No-fault divorce has made it so much easier for those who never did put much effort into anything in their lives. This is the age where every kid gets a trophy…even if he loses. We are creating adults that feel entitled to everything without having to work for it themselves.
The unfaithful thought process is "There must be something more then this" And the selfish "I deserve more". I also believe that most people live their loves with the disposable philosophy..."if it's old or broke...get a new one because that is easier…and would make me happy. Happiness no longer comes from hard work and personal achievement...it's been externalized.
In the end we are becoming a super-selfish society…it's all about us and our own wants and desires….IMHO.
A former close friend of mine's wife did this (and I'm guessing still does) this all the time. He would never listen to any friendly advice from me or any other of his close friends about the issue. She even had a whole group of drinking / bar buddies that he didn't even know! She would go out till 2, 3, 4 + in the morning sometimes, drive drunk to get home. Red flags all over the place but he simply didn't want to acknowledge it ! and I'm talking a person here in her 30's to 40's with kids !
Because people don't like change.
They see their single friends still having fun, swinging from SO to SO. And they miss their single days, of going to a club and grinding up on someone, not knowing their name, and not remembering last night.
I think I see the problem as two fold:
First, we are all told to find someone to marry. A good girl or boy, that we like, that is cute and smart and funny, that we want to take home to our parents. And we marry that person.
But, we all love the single life. Going out drinking, grinding, kissing random people, having those ego boosters, and doing things that when we were single, we didn't think twice about. But now that you are married, you should.
But people want both. So it ends up with people not knowing who they really are, thinking they can be both. The good husband/wife at home, taking care of the house/finances, and a player/slvt at the night club that all the club wants to bed.
Doesn't equal a healthy future.
You can't be both. You can either be a clubber, or married.
And just so I don't get flamed, this is for people that leave their spouse at home. Not for people that take their spouse with them to the club.
They see their single friends still having fun, swinging from SO to SO. And they miss their single days, of going to a club and grinding up on someone, not knowing their name, and not remembering last night.
I think I see the problem as two fold:
First, we are all told to find someone to marry. A good girl or boy, that we like, that is cute and smart and funny, that we want to take home to our parents. And we marry that person.
But, we all love the single life. Going out drinking, grinding, kissing random people, having those ego boosters, and doing things that when we were single, we didn't think twice about. But now that you are married, you should.
But people want both. So it ends up with people not knowing who they really are, thinking they can be both. The good husband/wife at home, taking care of the house/finances, and a player/slvt at the night club that all the club wants to bed.
Doesn't equal a healthy future.
You can't be both. You can either be a clubber, or married.
And just so I don't get flamed, this is for people that leave their spouse at home. Not for people that take their spouse with them to the club.
My WS coworkers were all notorious for going out of town and cheating. They all covered for each other. My WS just got away with it for the longest. I'm not really sure why they would be considered friends. A friend doesn't encourage you to destroy your wife and kids. He told me he despised their behavior. He played me good. Like the song - I'm wide awake!
Not trying to jack the thread, but in the same manner as a GNO a lot of threads have detailed that a problem showed up because of inappropriate Texting.
Has texting, because it is so easy, no one can hear you talk etc. allowed for the growth of infidelity? People will do it and because it does not have boundaries allows for them to more easily get going in an inappropriate manner?
Just a thought.
Has texting, because it is so easy, no one can hear you talk etc. allowed for the growth of infidelity? People will do it and because it does not have boundaries allows for them to more easily get going in an inappropriate manner?
Just a thought.
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