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Hey everyone. My names Whittney. I have been married to my husband Cory for almost 4 years but we have been together about 6. We have two beautiful daughters, Kennadie who is 4 and Kadence who is 16 months. Briefly the reason i am here is because I have considered and actually put money down on a retainer for a lawyer to begin my divorce proceedings. My husband is very VERY verbally abusive, physically at times but more verbally. He has a VERY bad temper and anger issues and he takes it out on us. Its nothing for him to throw lamps, break glass items, curse me out (in front of the kids), kick doors in, punch doors etc..He has never hit our children. He *did* throw something at me one time and it hit our youngest and that's when i started the filing for divorce. Anyways this is my 2nd time filing. I filed the first time about 2 years ago and he promised he would change. we actually went to a counselling session but he said he didn't want to continue going so we didn't anymore. I wanted to continue but he didn't. anyways, now that he knows i have put money down, he has QUIT his job and took his self to the doctor and was seen for his bipolar and is also going to counselling. but i just don't think he is sincere. he is very sneaky and vindictive, and plus i have heard this sob story WAY to many times to count on both hands and feet BUT i'm confused bc in all reality i DO NOT want my family broke up and my children spending Christmas with a split family but is it better for us to be split or for us to together. He is asking me to please hold off on the divorce proceedings because he says its way to much money (its $4000 on my end for a retainer) but like i said hes sneaky, hes vindictive. Hes already tried to cut off my debit card and took my cell phone so its kind of hard to think hes being honest. And also he'll go one day and not talk at all and the next he wont leave me alone. Also, he took me off the bank act. Im just so confused as to what to do. its hard to believe someone who has told you they would change since the day they met you and its been 6 years and 2 children later and hes still an *******. Should i pursue the divorce or hold off ;/
 

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The man has hit you
The man is cutting off access to your funds

Why the he1l are you waiting?

Do you have any place safe you can go?
 

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Yes i do. I have been staying at my grandparents house. Ive already put a down payment down on the divorce. just have to go write the papers up
 

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First off glad to hear you and the girls are safe. Second stay where you are which is a safe place. While you are there file a police report for domestic violence and request a restraining order. Place all the money you can get your hands on in a safe place for you and the girls. Continue pursuing your divorce.
 

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By all means continue with the divorce and drop any and all contact except what is strictly mandated by law.

Treat this with deadly seriousness as with narcissistic abusers your life may be potentially in danger.

Please read:
Toxic Relationships: Abuse and it's Aftermath by Sam Vankin - it describes the profile of your partner quite well along with a wealth of advice on how to cope.

Please come back with feedback once you read the material.

 

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He doesn't want you to go through with the divorce because it's too much money?

NOT because he loves you?

NOT because of the kids?

Because it's too much money.

If the violence and abuse isn't enough, this should be.
 
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