[Lila]

Well add me to the social media BS club. Discovered Odin has two other FB pages. Once we became friends on FB his other accounts began showing up on my suggested friends list. The one has lots of stuff he made public and it's selfie after selfie after selfie with a lot of over the top dramatic quotes with his pics. Literally nothing but selfies. He doesn't come off this way in person so I'm totally thrown off.

Instant turn off though, like a visceral reaction type of thing. I cannot respect a man, or anyone, who comes off as an attention seeker. I'm so disappointed.

Holy crap. I am convinced we're living in s world of narcissists.

This is one I would post on "are we dating the same guy". I'd be curious what's behind the two alt fb profiles.

 

[PieceOfSky]

The one has lots of stuff he made public and it's selfie after selfie after selfie with a lot of over the top dramatic quotes with his pics. Literally nothing but selfies. He doesn't come off this way in person so I'm totally thrown off.

I suppose it is slightly possible these other two accounts are not his, but someone scamming on his identity (eg, set up another account under his name and copied pictures from his real accounts).

Not likely if the content doesn’t overlap.

Probably not as likely as someone really having multiple accounts for different purposes or “personalities”.

But I suppose it can happen.

 

[PieceOfSky]

I work for a major insurance company. We use a vendor for social media searches on claimants we think are perpetrating fraud. They get the most in depth and accurate information, including friends, friends of friends and connections, looking for potential fraud rings. My point is, I believe they would be a good resource to use on anyone in personal life too. People live double lives on social media. Unfortunately, the world has come to this.

Spokeo.com can provide social media links in its people search results. No idea if they are that thorough, but might be useful.

 

[LATERILUS79]

Damn.

am I old and outdated? I use social media to read hilarious memes, watch videos of people doing stupid stuff, and learn about who what and where for my hobbies.

you’ll find some pictures of me from years past with my ex (who loves Facebook and couldn’t wait to have pictures posted of her and her new bf) and a few pictures of me with my kids. I haven’t updated my background picture in 12 years and my face picture is from 2017

 

[Faithful Wife]

Well add me to the social media BS club. Discovered Odin has two other FB pages. Once we became friends on FB his other accounts began showing up on my suggested friends list. The one has lots of stuff he made public and it's selfie after selfie after selfie with a lot of over the top dramatic quotes with his pics. Literally nothing but selfies. He doesn't come off this way in person so I'm totally thrown off.

Instant turn off though, like a visceral reaction type of thing. I cannot respect a man, or anyone, who comes off as an attention seeker. I'm so disappointed.

Oh yikes yeah that is gross.

But what are you gonna tell him? Or just fade out and ghost him?

 

[uwe.blab]

WAG but I'm going to say it's a lot of relationships.

Dating gets harder the older we get. There are so many more demands, and responsibilities, and baggage to consider.

I think I stuck around because in the scale of good to bad, Pogo was semi-bad. If all you come across are really bad options, the one semi-bad option is going to look great. It's not a good option, just not as bad as the others. It's kind of a Devil You Know situation.

So, you definitely did the right thing. Did he try to convince you to stay with him? Has he been reaching out and trying to see you the last few days?

 

[Lila]

So, you definitely did the right thing. Did he try to convince you to stay with him? Has he been reaching out and trying to see you the last few days?

Oh he tried hard to convince me that he told lies because he loved me.

I haven't given him a chance to respond. I told him to never text, call, message, or try to contact me again. If he tries to come by my house, I'll call the cops and get an RO. Then I blocked him on everything .

There is no recovery from this.

 

[leftfield]

I work for a major insurance company. We use a vendor for social media searches on claimants we think are perpetrating fraud. They get the most in depth and accurate information, including friends, friends of friends and connections, looking for potential fraud rings. My point is, I believe they would be a good resource to use on anyone in personal life too. People live double lives on social media. Unfortunately, the world has come to this.

Nice information. Seeing how social media is used in this type of situation and others; I'm so glad that I don't have any social media accounts. This is about the 1,000,000th time I've been reminded of that.

 

[ReformedHubby]

🤮

Is there anything like that going on now that you know of?

No, nothing like that anymore. It was a different place then. I do remember being surprised at the names that were involved though. How could someone berate waywards on CWI, and claim to be happy in their marriage frequently in other posts, then turn around and completely lose control because a random woman flirts with them and start sending perverted pics of there junk? I won't comment on it anymore as I feel it is ancient history and a thread jack, but thats how I felt about it at the time.

 

[uwe.blab]

Oh he tried hard to convince me that he told lies because he loved me.

I haven't given him a chance to respond. I told him to never text, call, message, or try to contact me again. If he tries to come by my house, I'll call the cops and get an RO. Then I blocked him on everything .

There is no recovery from this.

Agreed. Hang in there.

 

[Not]

We're talking about it now. Last night I told him the social media is a big nope for me and why. He responded with "Understood" and I didn't hear anything else from him. What I'm being told this morning is that social media isn't real life, it's **** talking (selfie page), meme's (family), some business (charity page) and family and friends. Says it's not him. Says those who know him know his humor, his heart and his intent. The question in my mind, that I may not even bother asking, is...What then is the point? Just, why? I can't relate at all and I can't date someone when I want nothing to do with their FB.

 

[Lila]

We're talking about it now. Last night I told him the social media is a big nope for me and why. He responded with "Understood" and I didn't hear anything else from him. What I'm being told this morning is that social media isn't real life, it's **** talking (selfie page), meme's (family), some business (charity page) and family and friends. Says it's not him. Says those who know him know his humor, his heart and his intent. The question in my mind, that I may not even bother asking, is...What then is the point? Just, why? I can't relate at all and I can't date someone when I want nothing to do with their FB.

My question would have been "so which one is the real you"? He's literally admitting that he compartmentalizes his life to only show exactly the part of himself he wants others to see. Sounds unhealthy.

 

[uwe.blab]

We're talking about it now. Last night I told him the social media is a big nope for me and why. He responded with "Understood" and I didn't hear anything else from him. What I'm being told this morning is that social media isn't real life, it's **** talking (selfie page), meme's (family), some business (charity page) and family and friends. Says it's not him. Says those who know him know his humor, his heart and his intent. The question in my mind, that I may not even bother asking, is...What then is the point? Just, why? I can't relate at all and I can't date someone when I want nothing to do with their FB.

This sounds really bizarre. How many total pages does he have? Was your conversation via text? (just wondering about the 'understood' one-word response, if it was his voice or written....)

 

[Not]

My question would have been "so which one is the real you"? He's literally admitting that he compartmentalizes his life to only show exactly the part of himself he wants others to see. Sounds unhealthy.

I’m pretty sure he’s saying none of them “are me”. Makes no sense to me.

Last night I told him I was unfriending us and did so. Today he has changed his profile pics, yet again. He sure spends a lot of time on something that isn’t real life or what he really is.

 

[Not]

This sounds really bizarre. How many total pages does he have? Was your conversation via text? (just wondering about the 'understood' one-word response, if it was his voice or written....)

Two for sure and a possible third. The convo was via text.

 

[Faithful Wife]

We're talking about it now. Last night I told him the social media is a big nope for me and why. He responded with "Understood" and I didn't hear anything else from him. What I'm being told this morning is that social media isn't real life, it's **** talking (selfie page), meme's (family), some business (charity page) and family and friends. Says it's not him. Says those who know him know his humor, his heart and his intent. The question in my mind, that I may not even bother asking, is...What then is the point? Just, why? I can't relate at all and I can't date someone when I want nothing to do with their FB.

Do not listen to his words, his actions are showing you exactly who he is. You know "why", it's because for whatever reason he is an attention pig, which is just soooo unattractive.

Super sorry another one bites the dust!!!

 

[Faithful Wife]

I had dated a guy where something similar was happening. Met him on bumble and right away there were a couple of very stupid selfies with equally stupid memes or words embedded across them. I could see this was something he had to spend some time on to edit those pics and was put off immediately, but the rest of his profile was pretty good and other pics were good. So I gave him a shot.

He was sweet, smart, very attractive to me. We chatted, had a date or two. The time together was very nice. But then the meme selfies started coming directly to me via text.

The ones he sent via text also got raunchy and strange.

I honestly couldn't understand why he thought any of them were cute, funny, sexy, smart or appropriate. He seemed so intelligent, but this was just sooooo dumb. Who in his life would have ever encouraged this, put a like on one, or made him think this was a good idea? All of them gave about a 7th grade level intelligence and humor vibe.

When I said I didn't want to see him anymore, I used the memes as one of the reasons, and he was honestly shocked and baffled about it. I tried to explain hey we barely know each other and you're blasting me with all of these meme selfies and it just comes across as arrogant or that you want me to praise you or something. None of that made sense to him either. So I finally just had to say I'm sorry you don't seem to understand it but it is what it is. He was decent about the whole thing and would occasionally text me over the next couple of months and ask for another chance and I wouldn't reply.

WHY?????? How can there be such a disconnect between an obviously intelligent person and them doing something so stupid??

 

[Livvie]

This stuff is why I'm not on Facebook, never have been and never will be.

I wouldn't be able to tolerate Facebook ******** with someone I'm dating, which probably shrinks my dating pool to almost nothing... and I don't care.

 

[farsidejunky]

Do not listen to his words, his actions are showing you exactly who he is. You know "why", it's because for whatever reason he is an attention pig, which is just soooo unattractive.

Super sorry another one bites the dust!!!

I wish I could like this twice.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk

 

[ReformedHubby]

This stuff is why I'm not on Facebook, never have been and never will be.

I wouldn't be able to tolerate Facebook **** with someone I'm dating, which probably shrinks my dating pool to almost nothing... and I don't care.

I mostly agree with you. Social media came to prominence while I was married, I had little to no interest in it during that time. However when I started dating I realized that the social media pages of most of the women I would be interested were basically personal fan clubs consisting of high school classmates, former co-workers and acquaintances that liked being "friends" with an attractive female. Fan clubs tend to only "like" solo photos and ignore pics with kids and family. I guess I'm reading in these posts that men like to hold on to their "fan clubs" too. I'm guessing for some its all for the attention, but I also believe others are doing it to keep their options open. I guess at a minimum a person's social media behavior should change once a relationship becomes serious IMO.