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When I was much younger, and my mom had left my step dad and she was single for a bit, then she met a man who was a jerk they were together for a bit and then broke up. At the time I remember her saying "you know, I just don't think any of this is worth it, I'm happy without a partner". I remember being really sad, because in my mind my mom was so loving and cool and deserved a really great guy. I couldn't imagine her not having a great guy at her side into her later years. She had so much to give!

But as the years went on and she never dated again, and yet she actually got happier over time, I then believed her and understood. She really meant it, she was happier alone and it wasn't just an act or trying to tough it out or whatever. When she died in 2020 it went about as peacefully and lovingly as anyone could have possibly hoped for. And she had hundreds of adoring friends and "fans" who made sure to let her know how much she was loved up until her last breath.

I understand her now, and I'll be lucky to have a life as fulfilling as she had.
I watched both my mom and grandmother do just that. My grandparents were married for over 50 years but my grandma was single for over 15 years after gramps died. My mom is 70 and hasn't dated anyone since I was a teenager. She's a truly wonderful, loving person and still gets chatted up by men when she's out and about, but most men who expressed interest were in "open marriages," and she wasn't interested.

My family is spread out in our home country and all over the world, and I'll be here in the US alone. The whole dying alone thing is something I've faced and have been working on accepting my entire life as I never wanted children, unlike most of you. I cultivated very close family relationships with my in-laws, but that went down the crapper.

Honestly, I hated the whole dating experience. I don't care for interview-type sitdowns, or trying to figure out what people mean when they're evasive or seemingly allergic to truth. So, I think I'll choose the same kind of life if my bf and I don't work out. He's set a bar that will be very difficult for any man to pass, because he's that decent a person.

So no judgment from me if you guys/gals would rather remain single than settle. It's one thing to meet someone in the middle, and another to change yourself completely to attract some rando if you're happy with the person you are.
 

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So just as we all have been saying, you just want to toy with us and feel superior but blame it on the fact that you simply can't POSSIBLY not give voice to alllll of your inner thoughts.

Why do you have inner thoughts about our lives that need to be expressed?

I think at one time you said you were an optometrist? Do I have that right or do I have you confused with someone else who always had a sharp "eye" and pin-pointing lens?
Oooh you aren't invoking the name of the one who must not be named that begins with an L are you?
 

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Something that I've been adapting into my life more and more since my divorce. Sorta like, "F-it. Let's try this and see what happens.".
I agree that it is wise to open yourself to the possibility of yes.

I used to be grumpy Mr. “No”, I didn’t go to medical school so I couldn’t even be Dr. No which would have been at least kind of cool.

Anyway, as you say, just saying yes to opportunities as they arise has been working for me for the last few years.
 

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The lesson is, you will always regret the shots you didn't take.

Of course, there's no guarantee that it could have been anything good or healthy, since you stated good reasons why you didn't, but you are still haunted by "what if". There's no going back now, but maybe you might be more inclined to seize the moment the next time opportunity knocks and not second guess yourself, especially with the very specific conditions that must exist for you.

Of my many disappointments in life, the only things I've regretted (so far) were the opportunities I let pass me by. Mind you, none of those were romance, just things I wish I had been brave enough to do but didn't because I was striving to be this perfect person and do things the "right" way as much as possible and not disappoint my loved ones.

Sometimes you just have to live in the moment and take a chance.
I know if the scenario happens again, I still wouldn't take the chance. 😔

My mind continues to call me cowardly yet it knows it was also logical and not a good calculated risk. It's a constant pendulum in my mind right now.

It reminds me when I was 20 or something, I was at work doing sales and chatting to this incredibly beautiful woman, it was so obvious she was into me but when she asked me what I was doing that day I mentioned only work. She gave me the most disappointed look on her face and made me much more opportunistic and bold in the future. That was the lesson.

But this time the lesson repeats and I don't want to learn the lesson, because it's work 😔 it would be fine if work crush was forgettable and replaceable but one thing I realised, she's not as expendable an opportunity as I thought she would be.

I had another opportunity at work actually, similar client dynamics, but I didn't flirt back at all, she wasn't nearly as sexy fun or impressive as work crush. It was more eww. I played dumb successfully with that one. Just makes me regret. So annoying 😑
 

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Mission accomplished.

1) I got the single ladies to (heatedly) defend their positions.

2) I got rid of those pesky tail feathers of mine; the ones that are too long.
I find it hard to trim them so I wave them in the faces of defensive ladies.
And, like clock work, they chew them off.

I sincerely apologize if I sound condescending.

I get it.
It is the listener, not the speaker, that determines what is said.

Yes, I am very passionate about many things.

Yes, I do give voice to my inner thoughts, all of them, they insist.

I would hope others would find me humorous, not daft.

My writings would best be summed up as me exercising my Literary License.
Nothing more.
You'll always be our beloved Martian 🤗
 

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I know if the scenario happens again, I still wouldn't take the chance. 😔

My mind continues to call me cowardly yet it knows it was also logical and not a good calculated risk. It's a constant pendulum in my mind right now.

It reminds me when I was 20 or something, I was at work doing sales and chatting to this incredibly beautiful woman, it was so obvious she was into me but when she asked me what I was doing that day I mentioned only work. She gave me the most disappointed look on her face and made me much more opportunistic and bold in the future. That was the lesson.

But this time the lesson repeats and I don't want to learn the lesson, because it's work 😔 it would be fine if work crush was forgettable and replaceable but one thing I realised, she's not as expendable an opportunity as I thought she would be.

I had another opportunity at work actually, similar client dynamics, but I didn't flirt back at all, she wasn't nearly as sexy fun or impressive as work crush. It was more eww. I played dumb successfully with that one. Just makes me regret. So annoying 😑
Don't beat yourself up, it's in the past. In any case, it's not like you didn't have your reasons. Unlike other folks, I'm not a huge fan of messing around with people at work, that **** can get super awkward if you work closely if things didn't work out. I've seen some pretty gnarly examples of that.
 

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Don't beat yourself up, it's in the past. In any case, it's not like you didn't have your reasons. Unlike other folks, I'm not a huge fan of messing around with people at work, that **** can get super awkward if you work closely if things didn't work out. I've seen some pretty gnarly examples of that.
My brain 😔



One thing is for sure though, I don't think I can really return to online dating unless I get horny enough to simply hookup again.

Organic encounters are just so much more fun and memorable. No one of real note came from online dating in my experience.
 

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Absolutely not.

I follow the mantra, “never sh*t where you eat”

im blown away by how many people do mess around at work. It rarely works out from my experience watching these people (at my work). But to each their own.
I need to be able to accept this and put it to rest. What a pain though 😑

Thanks though hopefully I get over it eventually
 
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