Talk About Marriage banner
1 - 20 of 964 Posts

· Premium Member
Joined
·
938 Posts
First year single since I was 16. I’m not afraid either. Finally, 10 months later beginning to see the blessing in it all. Watching the Chiefs kick some bronco tail, sounds of my son and his wonderful imagination filling the rooms in my home and it’s 75 degrees here in Texas. So very grateful. Cheers fellow singles, cheers.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
7,175 Posts
First year single since I was 16. I’m not afraid either. Finally, 10 months later beginning to see the blessing in it all. Watching the Chiefs kick some bronco tail, sounds of my son and his wonderful imagination filling the rooms in my home and it’s 75 degrees here in Texas. So very grateful. Cheers fellow singles, cheers.
Cheers!

That thread going on now on this forum about women who choose to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.

Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".

It's just so rude.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
Cheers!

That thread going on now on this forum about women who choose to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.

Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".

It's just so rude.
Heh maybe they have to justify all their sacrifices somehow too, like once coupled I felt the same in a way, had to focus on the negatives not the positives of single life so I could appreciate what I had, you know. But hey who knows, glad of perspectives though some comments did trigger me too 😅
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,056 Posts
Cheers!

That thread going on now on this forum about women who choose to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.

Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".

It's just so rude.
Reminds of a trip I took to Walmart right after my divorce. I was in the produce section and ran into an old coworker. As she and I were talking an elderly gentleman approached us and asked if he could ask us a question. His wife had just passed away and he didn’t know how to make a tuna fish sandwich. He asked us to help him. Total tear jerker moment. This man was completely lost.

I see a lot of the members you mention in that same way. Lost.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
938 Posts
Cheers!

That thread going on now on this forum about women who choose to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.

Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".

It's just so rude.
I hear you. Truth be told I don’t want to be single. I love taking care of a man. I just wish the one I’d spent so many years putting so much care into would have returned the favor from time to time.

The painful part I’m realizing is, I was already practically living how I am now, even when my husband was alive. But when he killed himself this past year, well, he took away the choice I was making, the sacrifices I was making while waiting for him to get his head out of his rear. Then, before I chose to stay, chose to keep on keeping on. It’s now longer a choice.

That’s what I hate most currently. I’m sure that will evolve. I made some changes that had thrown my hormones out of wack which made me nutty for a bit. They are starting to settle and so is the idea of just doing my thing, without dating or seeking a mate, just caring for my son and doing things I enjoy and letting everything else fall where it may.

I feel fairly content.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
The whole idea of coupling up now just sickens and repulses me. My shell and spines are back up.

I thinking I'm going to tell fbuddy the truth of things. It's not right. I'm still not in the mood and the itch just comes and goes. It's not as crazy as it was last year. But seriously I will most likely regret it but it's taking too much energy pretending and I'm just not feeling the flirts.

And honestly, my tastes are switching for some reason, I'm not as adamant about her type anymore.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
938 Posts
The whole idea of coupling up now just sickens and repulses me. My shell and spines are back up.

I thinking I'm going to tell fbuddy the truth of things. It's not right. I'm still not in the mood and the itch just comes and goes. It's not as crazy as it was last year. But seriously I will most likely regret it but it's taking too much energy pretending and I'm just not feeling the flirts.

And honestly, my tastes are switching for some reason, I'm not as adamant about her type anymore.
What is your new ‘type’ anyhow, besides strictly a woman not looking for a relationship? I mean that in seriousness and no shade or anything! 🙃
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,056 Posts
My exH got stuck on the east coast after flying out to visit our son for xmas and I wound up dog sitting for him quite a bit. He wasn’t able to catch a flight back until a week after he was due back and my daughter was dog sitting but wound up needing help during that extended time period.

I had a dog fall in love with me lol! Ever had that happen? Me neither lol! But man this chubby turkey has my heart now. Such a sweet sweet girl. So awkward though! I love my exes dog! 😂
Dog Dog breed Flooring Carnivore Floor
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
What is your new ‘type’ anyhow, besides strictly a woman not looking for a relationship? I mean that in seriousness and no shade or anything! 🙃
None specific right now, I'm just seeing more women as beautiful instead of a very specific type 😅

Honestly I think THAT particular itch was because of one opportunity that I simply would not take, the one at work. I spent months looking for her very likeness as a result. She was also everything I wished my ex - body wise - could have been physically, as shallow and cruel that is to admit along with my guilt over it. Probably why I was attracted too because it pulled my thoughts away from ex. Now that I've scratched the itch, and spent more time by myself to get over my ex, it's just not there.

I only messaged her anyway so I can tell myself I tried so I won't think about it anymore. She wasn't supposed to respond. :rolleyes:
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
My exH got stuck on the east coast after flying out to visit our son for xmas and I wound up dog sitting for him quite a bit. He wasn’t able to catch a flight back until a week after he was due back and my daughter was dog sitting but wound up needing help during that extended time period.

I had a dog fall in love with me lol! Ever had that happen? Me neither lol! But man this chubby turkey has my heart now. Such a sweet sweet girl. So awkward though! I love my exes dog! 😂 View attachment 95140
You guys too? I don't know what's going on but the word is everywhere airlines were simply incompetent this New Years :rolleyes:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,056 Posts
You guys too? I don't know what's going on but the word is everywhere airlines were simply incompetent this New Years :rolleyes:
Yes. My son FaceTime’d me this morning and was telling me what happened. This was Southwest airlines. Ex husband got to the airport to come back home and about 20 minutes later his flight was canceled so my son took him back home with him. They tried calling all day long every day for about three days and never got an answer from the airline so my ex wound up having to buy a new plane ticket to get home.

Apparently, thousands of people were stranded all over the country. FWB texted me to say hello one day this past week and said his mom is stuck here until Tuesday.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
Yes. My son FaceTime’d me this morning and was telling me what happened. This was Southwest airlines. Ex husband got to the airport to come back home and about 20 minutes later his flight was canceled so my son took him back home with him. They tried calling all day long every day for about three days and never got an answer from the airline so my ex wound up having to buy a new plane ticket to get home.

Apparently, thousands of people were stranded all over the country. FWB texted me to say hello one day this past week and said his mom is stuck here until Tuesday.
Guess that's what happens when you lay off the entire aviation industry for years 😅
 

· Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,767 Posts
People who are single tend to think of partnering up in the abstract because they don’t have someone in particular they're attached to. When you either don't like what you have or don't have anyone is particular it's easier to feel fine alone.

The married people have a particular person so of course they don't want to be single. I love my bf but I'm attached to HIM....without him I'd think of being single differently and would be fine.

It's an apples to oranges comparison.

Being ok single is better even if you would like someone because you make better decisions. Too much desperation clouds judgement.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
938 Posts
People who are single tend to think of partnering up in the abstract because they don’t have someone in particular they're attached to. When you either don't like what you have or don't have anyone is particular it's easier to feel fine alone.

The married people have a particular person so of course they don't want to be single. I love my bf but I'm attached to HIM....without him I'd think of being single differently and would be fine.

It's an apples to oranges comparison.

Being ok single is better even if you would like someone because you make better decisions. Too much desperation clouds judgement.
This right here!! I’m finally feeling freedom of feeling desperate.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
People who are single tend to think of partnering up in the abstract because they don’t have someone in particular they're attached to. When you either don't like what you have or don't have anyone is particular it's easier to feel fine alone.

The married people have a particular person so of course they don't want to be single. I love my bf but I'm attached to HIM....without him I'd think of being single differently and would be fine.

It's an apples to oranges comparison.

Being ok single is better even if you would like someone because you make better decisions. Too much desperation clouds judgement.
It becomes a lifestyle, and people will defend their lifestyles when people criticise it, myself included. I think that's why it gets triggery.

Like hey I'm very happy the way I am because I am VERY independent and only really make room in my life for two people, partner and child. The rest need to organise meetings and each need to be with a purpose :rolleyes: (Also, celebrations are for other people not for me, I only celebrate FOR THEM)

Also why I liked having extroverted partners because they can entertain my visitors 😑

Sure although it was nice to have a 'partner in crime' nothing lasts forever and I've come to accept that and just be glad for the experiences I've had in life and the love of the women I've come to cherish as well as lost. The thing is, the spot for "partner in crime" I'm never desperate about, I can go without. I don't need that kind of vulnerability in my life anyway. I never needed it. The only time I even fell in love was because she was so young and innocent I could not find it in my heart to say no to a blossoming love that was both raw and real right in front of me that I never experienced so strongly in my life no matter the incompatibilities.

The minute I find another clink in my armor is the minute I fall in love again.
 

· Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,767 Posts
It becomes a lifestyle, and people will defend their lifestyles when people criticise it, myself included. I think that's why it gets triggery.

Like hey I'm very happy the way I am because I am VERY independent and only really make room in my life for two people, partner and child. The rest need to organise meetings and each need to be with a purpose :rolleyes: (Also, celebrations are for other people not for me, I only celebrate FOR THEM)

Also why I liked having extroverted partners because they can entertain my visitors 😑

Sure although it was nice to have a 'partner in crime' nothing lasts forever and I've come to accept that and just be glad for the experiences I've had in life and the love of the women I've come to cherish as well as lost. The thing is, the spot for "partner in crime" I'm never desperate about, I can go without. I don't need that kind of vulnerability in my life anyway. I never needed it. The only time I even fell in love was because she was so young and innocent I could not find it in my heart to say no to a blossoming love that was both raw and real right in front of me that I never experienced so strongly in my life no matter the incompatibilities.

The minute I find another clink in my armor is the minute I fall in love again.
Nobody should have to defend any of their life choices. You get to live however you want to live, which hopefully makes you happy..

Just remember that all rewards in life require risk. The key is to aim for smart risk and do a risk potential reward analysis, then decide if it's worth it. I happen to be a mix of pragmatist and eternal optimist.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
24,148 Posts
Nobody should have to defend any of their life choices. You get to live however you want to live, which hopefully makes you happy..

Just remember that all rewards in life require risk. The key is to aim for smart risk and do a risk potential reward analysis, then decide if it's worth it. I happen to be a mix of pragmatist and eternal optimist.
I do take quite a lot of risks actually 😅

But if there's no magic why risk anything? The thing with me too is that I know once I make a decision on someone that's it, we can never be more. I'm not going to waste my time dating or being in a relationship with someone who is otherwise compatible and wait for the chemistry to grow. The chemistry has to be there, and if it is, I'll risk the incompatibilities, I'll date interracially, I'll go to church, I'll cradle rob. I'll risk it and I have, including suffered the consequences of it lol I'm still here hahaha :LOL:
 
1 - 20 of 964 Posts
Top