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I love being single. It would have to be someone truly exceptional to make me want to date seriously again!

I love my autonomy and independence. I like not having my income bled away into someone else's priorities. I like not having to defer to someone else's tastes and wants for major decisions instead of never getting my way in any sort of fair compromise. I like pursuing my own hobbies without criticism about them being boring or stupid.

Most of all, I like not being stabbed in the back by the person who is supposed to have my back.
Exactly! All of this. Also, I think I probably wouldn't be a good partner anymore. I'd be constantly on eggshells for the next poor guy to cheat. It's nice to have adventures with my son and friends without having to balance my free time. Honestly I didn't mind the things my ex wanted to do but it's nice to be able to feel like doing something at the weekend and having the autonomy to pack up the doggo and boy and hit the road. It's nice to feel like having a lazy day at home binge-watching whatever show someone else might think is lame, and not having to feel bad about it.

Only downside, is I miss sex. A lot. But not really wired for casual sex, so pretty much celebate for now. If I feel like I have fixed myself, I might date in the future but definitely not in a hurry. I don't lack for company and fun, with my friends and family, so perhaps I will be one of those awesome old lady adventurers like my late, great aunt, who headed off to China aged 84 with a friend just 'cause.
 

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I'd prefer to be married and thrive in marriage too. After my experience, it just doesn't seem worth it, I don't think I can integrate with someone now the way I did at 27 when we started out making a life together.

Maybe I'll change my mind, but I'd have to be 100% certain it would be for life. I don't have it in me to divorce and recover again.
Wow, you’ve changed your tune over the last year!
 

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Wow, you’ve changed your tune over the last year!
I'm still open to the possibility, but it will have to be worth it to trade my freedom, peace and extra free time.

It's amazing how much more free time I have now that I'm not living with an inconsiderate pig, or catering for someone else's eating preferences.
 

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I'm still open to the possibility, but it will have to be worth it to trade my freedom, peace and extra free time.

It's amazing how much more free time I have now that I'm not living with an inconsiderate pig, or catering for someone else's eating preferences.
But have you had to look at a ****ty toupee?
😅😅😅
 

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After marriage single life just became one of contentment. Then I met someone and fell in love for once, had a 4 year relationship, life was something else, like a drug that keeps you blind to everything else as you just live out the bliss. It was worth giving up singlehood.

Then it ended, was pretty tough the first week. So now I'm single again, but after four years I'm not so sure about giving it up again - because now I found several long lost luxuries, ONE -> I can switch my phone off ALL DAY LONG!!! I've never been so focused in my tasks for so many years, now I know why, because when I have to bloody 'report in' every fking hr my thoughts are gone.
 

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After marriage single life just became one of contentment. Then I met someone and fell in love for once, had a 4 year relationship, life was something else, like a drug that keeps you blind to everything else as you just live out the bliss. It was worth giving up singlehood.

Then it ended, was pretty tough the first week. So now I'm single again, but after four years I'm not so sure about giving it up again - because now I found several long lost luxuries, ONE -> I can switch my phone off ALL DAY LONG!!! I've never been so focused in my tasks for so many years, now I know why, because when I have to bloody 'report in' every fking hr my thoughts are gone.
Hey dude, how are you holding up these days?

Honestly, being with someone who requires that level of access is tiring and unsustainable. I'm surprised you did that at all, much less for that long! 😲
 

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Thankfully not!

I'm going to get flamed for saying this.... but.... I like hair, and yes, I've passed on guys with thinning hair,so a bad toupee would be a hard pass for me.

So, we're you tempted to kill it with fire? 🤣🤣🤣
I was, but I hoped he'd eventually realize that it was stupid....especially since the rest of his body hair went grey but the toupee was jet black. But nope....he's still wearing it at 66 😅

I do like my bf's hair. He'll sometimes comment on the small thinning patch on the top, but I tell him that he's 6'3 and nobody can see it!

But I wouldn't have passed on him if he'd lost his hair...he's awesome! The hairline is pretty far down on my list of concerns.
 

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Hey dude, how are you holding up these days?

Honestly, being with someone who requires that level of access is tiring and unsustainable. I'm surprised you did that at all, much less for that long! 😲
Did an update on my thread:


I was in love I guess. Heh even with that level of access, discipline, keeping her at the forefront of my thoughts at all times it wasn't enough though along with other efforts I made, which I've come to realise over the last month.
The 30 day break was good for me, I needed to sink into my own thoughts and find myself again.
 

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I was, but I hoped he'd eventually realize that it was stupid....especially since the rest of his body hair went grey but the toupee was jet black. But nope....he's still wearing it at 66 😅

I do like my bf's hair. He'll sometimes comment on the small thinning patch on the top, but I tell him that he's 6'3 and nobody can see it!

But I wouldn't have passed on him if he'd lost his hair...he's awesome! The hairline is pretty far down on my list of concerns.
Ugh, that's caricature stuff right there! Maybe in his mind he's still 26, my ex freaked out when I pointed out some Grey hair.

Ok, maybe I made it sound like I was looking for Samson 😅 My bf has a few thinning spots too, but I guess I meant bald. I'd love to be less superficial, but bald is just not attractive to me. I won't leave my bf if he goes bald though, but that's bc I already love him.
 

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Did an update on my thread:


I was in love I guess. Heh even with that level of access, discipline, keeping her at the forefront of my thoughts at all times it wasn't enough though along with other efforts I made, which I've come to realise over the last month.
The 30 day break was good for me, I needed to sink into my own thoughts and find myself again.
Thanks for sharing, Dude. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it sounds like you grew a lot and are better for that relationship.

The level of effort you expended was incredible, it must have been disappointing not to have that level of consideration appreciated or returned. You know, I'm trying to find a balance going forward too, bc some people will never appreciate things you do when you love someone. It's not about wanting repayment, it's about not being taken for granted and appreciated.

I wish you better fortune when you decide to try again.
 

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Thanks for sharing, Dude. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it sounds like you grew a lot and are better for that relationship.

The level of effort you expended was incredible, it must have been disappointing not to have that level of consideration appreciated or returned. You know, I'm trying to find a balance going forward too, bc some people will never appreciate things you do when you love someone. It's not about wanting repayment, it's about not being taken for granted and appreciated.

I wish you better fortune when you decide to try again.
Yup, never appreciated, because it's all expected. I was her first long term relationship, so either she got her expectations from fantasy or I ruined her. Or both.
First year of our relationship - thousands of dollars spent, gifts and surprises on top of each other, silly I love you more games. Way to go RD 🤦‍♂️

This is the kinda bullet you shoot at your foot that somehow misses, then travels all around the world before it decides to smack you right at the back of your head!
 

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Yup, never appreciated, because it's all expected. I was her first long term relationship, so either she got her expectations from fantasy or I ruined her. Or both.
First year of our relationship - thousands of dollars spent, gifts and surprises on top of each other, silly I love you more games. Way to go RD 🤦‍♂️

This is the kinda bullet you shoot at your foot that somehow misses, then travels all around the world before it decides to smack you right at the back of your head!
I understand the feeling, but you'll be appreciated by someone who knows that level of consideration is rare.

My bf still gushes when I make him breakfast when he's here bc I know he likes it (I'm indifferent and eat whatever). It's nice to hear a simple thank you and see genuine appreciation, don't settle for less the next time around. Anyway, so glad you're doing better!
 

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The rare times when marriage was in the wind, it would be the small things that would make me realize it would never work for me. Like one guy, we were kind of on the same path, but I eventually realized his friends were really boring and I hate spending time doing something I don't really want to do.

The last time, it was a combination of being unable to think of a place we'd both want to live and then I have all these black antiques, and he couldn't imagine living with anything except brown wood. And also he had cats and even though I've had one in the past that I wasn't too allergic to, 99% of them are very allergic to. In the end it fizzled for other reasons.

I just nearly always been on my own and can't even imagine answering to someone. I've been kind of autonomous since I was a kid, so none of it seemed natural to me.
 

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Ha ha....someone did once compare it to a tarantula 😅
A cat would have had a field day with that critter. Did he sleep in it? Did you ever suggest that he update it to account for the grey on his chest?

I remember John Wayne had some really bad toupees. Sean Connery had superb toupees.
 
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