[RandomDude]

Not a chance. If someone even suggested as much after a first date I would assume they were batsh*t crazy. I also think that asking for or offering exclusivity is nearly meaningless these days.

I think the best way to handle this sort of thing is to keep your mouth shut about exclusivity, who else you or your date might be seeing, etc. Just keep seeing someone and pay attention to how things are going. If you feel like you're being treated like one option out of many then you are likely correct. If the person you are dating always has time for you and is treating you like they want to progress things, that is pretty obvious too.

Yes, but you may be surprised. Me and one of my past dates multi-dated but after we became friends and shared about it we were laughing because we fooled each other.

We did talk about being able to see other people by date 3, so we knew we weren't exclusive, I assumed it anyway - but we had no idea we were both exercising our freedoms lol That's when she was like "are we just good at making each other feel like the only ones"? lol

I'd say always assume non-exclusivity until mentioned otherwise, and even then you can't really trust it early on like you said.

 

[Divinely Favored]

On that I agree. You should get to know them.

And if in so doing you find that they are lying or cheating or someone is violating an agreement, you should stop dating them.

I would be asking why one is sitting at home, if you are dating the person, you will be out with them.

 

[EleGirl]

"Single guys and gals, would you let a woman you had one date with tell you that you can't date other women? And reverse the gender too, of course."

"Let"? I have no control over what another person says. I think the question is would I agree to what they wanted? No, not with one date. I'd tell them that I'd need to get to know them better and if we are still dating in 3 months or so we can talk about it. They could accept or reject my choice in this.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Because folks either dated organically or in your case through Christian dating sites not swipe apps where matches come in batches.

What the hell is "Organically" it seems to be the flash word of the day.

I hear "organic" and 1st thing that comes to mind is fertalizer, around here that means horse ****! If people are meaning "naturally" then say naturally. Otherwise it is like all these youngsters have learned a new word and they are so excited to tell everyone the new word they learned.

 

[RandomDude]

What the hell is "Organically" it seems to be the flash word of the day.

I hear "organic" and 1st thing that comes to mind is fertalizer, around here that means horse ****! If people are meaning "naturally" then say naturally. Otherwise it is like all these youngsters have learned a new word and they are so excited to tell everyone the new word they learned.

It means naturally without deliberately looking or the use of online dating apps.

Naturally/organically whatever, means the same sh-t.

 

[Divinely Favored]

The equivalent for withholding sex for men is withholding commitment.

everyone Knows what the friendzone is for men. It’s a man that offers up easy commitment to a woman and she accepts it - but never has sex with him in return.

most folks don’t know what the friendzone is for women. That’s when a woman offers up sex to get into a relationship with a man and he accepts, but he never offers commitment in return.

Called the Good Time Gal.

 

[DownByTheRiver]

Wondering after mentioning Dallas gang. I used to go to the metroplex monthly to attend the North Texas Violent Gang Task Force meetings when I worked for TDCJ.

Oh, cool! Yeah I live in Dallas. It doesn't have very good water features.

 

[DownByTheRiver]

Had an Officer that helped train me, it would freak her out when I would stick my head in her door behind her and say, "I like biscuits and mustard, uh huh" in my best Billy Bob Thornton voice.

I think you have to have dark humor to be in that job.

 

[Divinely Favored]

There are people in real life who go to church just to meet women or socialize. Just saying it's not all devotees, but at least open to it.

Those usually get weeded out pretty quick in our church. Not much time for socializing when your at the alters getting your praise on! I've been to a church though that it was more about social club.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Oh, cool! Yeah I live in Dallas. It doesn't have very good water features.

I drove to Paris daily to work for 22.5 yrs. 42 miles a day one way.

 

[TexasMom1216]

There are people in real life who go to church just to meet women or socialize. Just saying it's not all devotees, but at least open to it.

A lot of churches, especially larger ones, have singles groups especially for people who are looking to date seriously (looking for marriage, men and women). It went horribly for me, but I know a LOT of people who met this way and did fine.

 

[RandomDude]

Those usually get weeded out pretty quick in our church. Not much time for socializing when your at the alters getting your praise on! I've been to a church though that it was more about social club.

Only needed one visit, ha! 😋😆

 

[DownByTheRiver]

Those usually get weeded out pretty quick in our church. Not much time for socializing when your at the alters getting your praise on! I've been to a church though that it was more about social club.

That seems to be a growing trend. Honestly it's always been kind of that way in a lot of the black churches in our area, really a big social center. And I have a church up the street that seems to be that way but I think they're being torn down for some more apartments. They got huge.

 

[DownByTheRiver]

I drove to Paris daily to work for 22.5 yrs. 42 miles a day one way.

That's quite a drive!

 

[LATERILUS79]

What the hell is "Organically" it seems to be the flash word of the day.

I hear "organic" and 1st thing that comes to mind is fertalizer, around here that means horse ****! If people are meaning "naturally" then say naturally. Otherwise it is like all these youngsters have learned a new word and they are so excited to tell everyone the new word they learned.

Considering my line of work, I can't stand it when words are stolen from the scientific community and then adapted into normal everyday vernacular. I remember when I first heard someone say something was organic. It was with food. It confused the hell out of me. I said, "sure. Yes all food is organic." They said "no, this food over here was made using fertilizers and other chemicals, this food wasn't so it's organic." I then said, "ummmmm.... just because food was made with fertilizers doesn't mean it no longer contains the element of carbon. Just burn it. You'll see it."

They had no idea what I was talking about. I then had to explain that the word organic means "compounds that contain the element of carbon". I don't know how that word transferred over to meaning "natural" whatever natural means.

Multiple other words like this. Volatile is another.

Sorry about the thread jack. I should probably not let this get to me so much. 🤣

 

[frenchpaddy]

Now that's something I haven't tried, doing it in a confession booth

you get the hottest tips all week ,

I just find it funny that the majority of people participating in this thread are married and haven’t had a first date in decades 😂

yes we must be the once that know how to make a first date work ,✌

 

[Ragnar Ragnasson]

But that person may not be finished dating others....then where are you. Gonna wait for them to quit riding the 🎠 or spinning plates?

I'm meaning if all seems good, and the relationship goes some months, if both seriously want to get a little more towards checking out how things might go. Not in blind trust.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Considering my line of work, I can't stand it when words are stolen from the scientific community and then adapted into normal everyday vernacular. I remember when I first heard someone say something was organic. It was with food. It confused the hell out of me. I said, "sure. Yes all food is organic." They said "no, this food over here was made using fertilizers and other chemicals, this food wasn't so it's organic." I then said, "ummmmm.... just because food was made with fertilizers doesn't mean it no longer contains the element of carbon. Just burn it. You'll see it."

They had no idea what I was talking about. I then had to explain that the word organic means "compounds that contain the element of carbon". I don't know how that word transferred over to meaning "natural" whatever natural means.

Multiple other words like this. Volatile is another.

Sorry about the thread jack. I should probably not let this get to me so much. 🤣

Like those idiots in DC talking about assault rifle/weapon .. they don't even know the definition of one. Or that governor in NY talking about AOW(any other weapon) like they were invented to get around gun laws....AOWs are strictly regulated by the ATF just like machine guns are. But they don't learn what AOW or AR/AW means and just want to use the new word and run their head... They think they sound intelligent but it proves otherwise.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Considering my line of work, I can't stand it when words are stolen from the scientific community and then adapted into normal everyday vernacular. I remember when I first heard someone say something was organic. It was with food. It confused the hell out of me. I said, "sure. Yes all food is organic." They said "no, this food over here was made using fertilizers and other chemicals, this food wasn't so it's organic." I then said, "ummmmm.... just because food was made with fertilizers doesn't mean it no longer contains the element of carbon. Just burn it. You'll see it."

They had no idea what I was talking about. I then had to explain that the word organic means "compounds that contain the element of carbon". I don't know how that word transferred over to meaning "natural" whatever natural means.

Multiple other words like this. Volatile is another.

Sorry about the thread jack. I should probably not let this get to me so much. 🤣

The fertalizer can be organic or not, but the food is always organic. They transferred the word from grown organically onto the plant itself, not knowing where the term comes from.

 

[gaius]

How am I even supposed to gauge interest from online dating? Again, it's not like organic dating where the chemistry is there and it's strong or when you already know them before dating so they aren't complete strangers who are going to ghost you over 1 bad answer.

Also I've choked my chicken for 6 months after I broke up with my ex, and I would have been content with choking my chicken until someone very attractive organically flirted with me for months on end revving my motor and no amount of chicken choking or porn could satisfy my lust once she got my damn engine running.

Maybe it's a disconnect but I could sense chemistry over the phone. When the conversation just flows, hours fly by and they feel like minutes. Even writing back and forth online sometimes. If they're ghosting you after one answer that's bad chemistry.

Plus "answer" would imply there's a lot of questions being asked back and forth which makes for bad conversation and chemistry anyway. If you're sending lots of answers instead of replies it's probably going nowhere.

When I was waiting for my wife to show up for our first date I wasn't stressed or nervous because I already knew from our phone and online interactions I was into her. I was in full on courting mode. No indecisiveness whatsoever. The only question was whether or not she'd find me acceptable in person and I wasn't taking that personally anymore so it was a fun wait.