I participated in this and also laughed with your comment. You’re absolutely right. Plus many who haven’t had experience with online dating too; and which is different to other scenarios mentioned in these threads of meeting others.I just find it funny that the majority of people participating in this thread are married and haven’t had a first date in decades 😂
Not a UK/US thing. I am a monogamous dater. One at a time. All my attention went to the one I was dating. If I started dating another, I never would have went back to prior. I expected same in return.Yeah, me too. Maybe this is a UK/US difference, but I really don't get this thing of dating multiple people. Can't you make your mind up? As far as I'm concerned, dating even one person is time consuming and financially expensive, so I'm either interested enough to be exclusive (for now), or else not interested enough for a second date. And the same for the woman. If she's not interested enough in me to want exclusivity, then next.
Oh yes, nothing wrong with it at all. I just was thinking it to myself and it made me laugh. Everyone’s opinions are valid. It’s what make this site so good for banter!I participated in this and also laughed with your comment. You’re absolutely right. Plus many who haven’t had experience with online dating too; and which is different to other scenarios mentioned in these threads of meeting others.
Still, there are also posters here that contribute who have never been married or …insert variety of experiences and lack of… that many of us, myself included, who offer thoughts regardless. Welcome to the internet!
Kinda hard to do all that while at the same time busy with all these other dudes you are dating.I am one of those who needs immediate chemistry. I am a visceral person. Upon meeting a new man, I either thought I'd date him or I barely noticed the guy. When the guy opened his mouth that is what I knew whether I would go on a date with him but it would take a few dates for me to figure out if this was going to be more than a bit of fun. I rarely wanted to have a conversation about exclusivity before the one month mark because i preferred to sit back, watch & observe both him & my reactions to him.
1st paragraph is spot on. If the one I was dating wanted to date around I would remove myself from her options. As in my mind she would be seen as someone just out for a good time and no longer worthy of me investing my time in.The question involves reading between the lines quite a bit. Are they just meaning they are wanting to date one person at a time to give a fair shake in seeing if they are a good fit or not?
Or are they really meaning they are wanting some kind future commitment of marriage and permanency?
Historically I have only dated people that I was already familiar with and already had a solid interest in before the first date.
Some I had even had make sessions or even actual sex before the first actual date.
So in that sense I would probably be ok with early dating exclusivity but it would have to be with the understanding that it would not be any kind of commitment towards cohabitation or marriage or anything like that and that either party could end the agreement at any time.
In other words I could agree in theory to not see anyone else until the next date. But any date could be the last.
My wife is only one I use that term with. References the level of connection we have to each other.I agree.
Here's a question I'd like the answer to: next time a woman uses the term soul mate with you, ask her how many other people she's used that term to describe in her life, haaaa! I'd love to know the response. I'd do it, but not many men use the term so I haven't had the opportunity to ask that.
Nope..I'm right there with you on dating.Honestly, it may be laziness or busyness on my part. I'm not looking at dating at all at the moment for those two reasons. If I was dating, I'd date that person until they rule themselves out in some way.
And conversely, if a woman has had a date with me, and still wants to go looking for other people, I'm going to suspect she just likes dating; which is not the kind of partner I want.
But I also stand by what I said before, I think there is a UK/US cultural difference on this also.
Good morning.......Clarice!My feeling is it's a safety issue. I mean, anyone can keep it together to write some nice persuasive messages and then behave themselves on a first date, but it takes a lot longer than that to be sure they're not
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So why would you want to commit to a stranger? If they turn out to be crazy, that only gives them more leverage over you when you want to leave peacefully.
And, please, naive people, PUHLENTY of men and women will happily tell you, Sure, we'll be exclusive, and then go right on about doing what they want to do, knowing the whole time you are stuck sitting at home by yourself while they are free to roam. I'm saying that will happen more likely than not, and this has gone on since time began. So why commit to exclusivity with someone you have zero idea if their word is even good? Because you don't. A date is not a marriage proposition or a commitment.
It's true, it helps you find yourself after a breakup.One time I went on a first date with a really cute bartender. It was a nice date, we had a good time. He told me that dating lots of different people was a good way to learn about yourself, that it was fun and you made lots of friends and stayed busy... he was nice but I could tell that if we went on a second, third, fifth, hundredth date... I would never mean anything to him, never be the only person he was seeing, he wasn't interested in settling down or having a relationship, he just wanted... playmates. I mean, that's fine, I think he was being really honest with me and telling me the truth, which is way better than the ones who lied about it. He didn't specifically say "I'm going to date lots of women, you are just one of many," but he did tell me in kinder, gentler words that there was no chance I'd be more than an occasional diversion. I didn't accept a second date. We weren't on the same page. He was a nice person, just not for me.
Down by the River??? That in reference to the Trinity River?What happens is they simply mature and maturity usually means change. You start knowing what you want to do and forming better plans, and you often grow apart. A whole lot of my Dallas gang divorced between 25 and 30. Fortunately, all but one didn't have kids yet.
All the talk about this subject reminds me of Mambo #5This.
You talk with someone and you go out with them and you’re like, “Meh… maybe? Let me see who else is out there and just in case will keep stringing this one along.”
Doesn’t sound great to me. Rather just be NOPE and then onto the next one.