In our society, men get a very bad rap for communication skills and being in touch with their emotions. It is as if there is no acknowledgment of all the great male philosophers, orators, poets, authors, psychologists, artists etc throughout history. We see these absurd stereotypes of insensitive, uncommunicative louts on TV and movies that are completely untrue.Yep on occasion by the men who have been burned. I think the women are masters at miscommunication and twisting things and tends to come natural.
Wife: I cooked brussel sprouts for supper.
Hubby: I do not like BS.
Wife: He hates my cooking! 😫Wait...my mom likes BS. 🤨He hates my mom too! 😡
Like so many stereotypes, these are used by intellectually lazy folks to pigeonhole a class of people so as not to have to look at them individually.
I am pretty sure I am fairly typical. I was a very good athlete in college. Many of my close friends had similar backgrounds. I also have friends in all types of professions, blue and white collar.
We talk frequently. While sometimes the initial part of the conversation may touch on a sport or hobby, we do not spend too much time discussing " da bears" or the boxscore of the Yankees game or carburetors etc.
We discuss our challenges, our feelings, our families etc for the most part. Yet, to hear some folks characterize men one would think we come in the door, insist on being brought a beer and plop down in front of the television to watch some game or the other.
You see the same stereotype applied to the alleged reason for men cheating vs women cheating. The prevailing view seems to be that it is all about the physical part for men and more about emotional fulfillment for women. There is denial that many men enjoy emotional intimacy and that many women have high sex drives and seek physical pleasure same as men.
In college, I lived in a house with one other guy and six women. What passed for deep, emotional conversations for the women was every bit as superficial as anything the men talked about. Much of it was gossip or expressions of lust for some guy with a " nice ass."
I read an article by a woman researcher who interviewed couples who stayed together after the wife cheated. This woman was, herself,,a cheater during her marriage. She often heard the women cheaters justify their cheating by alleging their husbands were poor communicators and/ or emotionally unavailable etc.
But, when she interviewed the husbands,she found they were, in fact,,better communicators than their wives in many cases. She found that many had curtailed their communication with their wives to some degree, however, because when they expressed their true thoughts and feelings, they were ignored or even chastised .Rather than really wanting to hear their husbands' thoughts and feelings, she found the wives merely wanted their husbands to be echo chambers, validating their own thoughts and opinions vs expressing independent ones.
After a while,the husbands just gave up,tired af being rebuked .
Anyway, it sort of mirrored my experience.