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Hello and thank you for reading this. I think some advice might help me. Me and my wife have a troubled relationship. In the past 10 months or so some things have gotten better. I think my being more direct with her has spurred some changes however sex is come and go. Mostly go. We have been pretty dry for a long time and i basicly started tring to make her happy and just hoping things would change. Recently, I brought it up to her and was very direct about it.
During that conversation she stated that she feels pressure and that is the problem. I asked her what makes her feel that way and she couldn't answer. I will admit earlier in our relationship I was selfish but that was years ago. If anything i have become meek. Well the result of the conversation was that i got her to agree that if she feels uncomfortable she should say so in the moment and we would deal with it.
Anyway, that weekend we hung out and Friday night we stayed up late and had some pretty serious conversations about other things. There was some tension but i thought it went really well and we had fun staying up together. The next day i wanted her to know i wasn't mad about the things we talked about from the past and was happy with the way things went and thought that we could share a moment. It seemed right. Well she turned me down.
Two days later she brought up our how she was supposed to tell me if she was made uncomfortable. She said that all weekend she felt uncomfortable and that it was in the "air" between us when we were in bed all weekend. That this thing in the air is what made it uncomfortable when i made a move
I misunderstood her and thought she meant all weekend. She said 'no' all weekend when we were in the bedroom. The thing is i went to bed after her every night that weekend. I also woke up before her every day. We were in the bedroom when i tried to start something up but that was the only time. The rest of the time we were in bed together at least one of us was sleeping.
I feel my wife does this all the time. She feels a certain way and then constructs reality to fit it. It makes her very difficult to talk to and is why i told her she has to tell me in the moment.
Well things have been pretty cool between us since. Now something is in the air and i dont know what to do. Thanks for listening
During that conversation she stated that she feels pressure and that is the problem. I asked her what makes her feel that way and she couldn't answer. I will admit earlier in our relationship I was selfish but that was years ago. If anything i have become meek. Well the result of the conversation was that i got her to agree that if she feels uncomfortable she should say so in the moment and we would deal with it.
Anyway, that weekend we hung out and Friday night we stayed up late and had some pretty serious conversations about other things. There was some tension but i thought it went really well and we had fun staying up together. The next day i wanted her to know i wasn't mad about the things we talked about from the past and was happy with the way things went and thought that we could share a moment. It seemed right. Well she turned me down.
Two days later she brought up our how she was supposed to tell me if she was made uncomfortable. She said that all weekend she felt uncomfortable and that it was in the "air" between us when we were in bed all weekend. That this thing in the air is what made it uncomfortable when i made a move
I misunderstood her and thought she meant all weekend. She said 'no' all weekend when we were in the bedroom. The thing is i went to bed after her every night that weekend. I also woke up before her every day. We were in the bedroom when i tried to start something up but that was the only time. The rest of the time we were in bed together at least one of us was sleeping.
I feel my wife does this all the time. She feels a certain way and then constructs reality to fit it. It makes her very difficult to talk to and is why i told her she has to tell me in the moment.
Well things have been pretty cool between us since. Now something is in the air and i dont know what to do. Thanks for listening