Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Do you hold a bit of yourself back however much you love partner? What do you hold back?
Is there such a thing as being too open about your inner-most thoughts?

I mean things like:

Our fantasies that we like to keep as fantasies?
Our (mild) flirting away from our partners?
Our secret crushes on people we'd never even meet i.e. stars etc?
Masturbating (alone)?
Our personal health/cosmetic issues that could put turn our partners off? (Not STDs! of course)

How does it feel being questioned by your partner about these things if you feel they are yours alone?

How does it feel being left out by your partner about this stuff when you feel you have a right to know?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
579 Posts
Well I used to tell my bf everything. He thinks I crush on a lot of stars but I don't. I'm boring and I don't really have any fantasies. I don't flirt period.

Uh.... I tell him my personal health issues every time. Pretty open about most of it.

It hurts being left out. Pretty sure my guy flirts at work because he says flirting is okay among coworkers and friends. *Eyeroll*

Wonder how he'd feel if I did it!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,190 Posts
Is there such a thing as being too open about your inner-most thoughts?
The majority of people will feel so.... Most people do not want 100% transparency (Did a thread on that HERE)... many see that as overkill... some will even say it squelches passion -that we need to leave some Mystery, keep them guessing.

But this depends on the couple... what works for them. People are either one way or another, not sure you can change them a whole lot, depending on how they were raised , the hurts in their life, how they view personal "privacy"- everyone has their bar set somewhere.

We are a couple who enjoys sharing our innermost thoughts/feelings. This works for us, it brings us alot of laughter, teasing/ bantering, enlightenment and deep conversations -that I feel only bring us closer, more vulnerabilty -leading to even a deeper "connection".


For us, what we held back & DIDN'T talk openly about is what HURT us the most in our marraige !! We missed each other in the sexual ....precisely for NOT talking about masterbation, our fantasies, what we craved deeply in the other...we went silent in this....both of us was a little "repressed" in this area....just seemed too taboo back in the day. Our biggest regrets.

But in everything else ...we never held back....Though I am the more forthcoming / more outgoing, more willing to open up boxes... ask questions... I like to dig a little, to understand what makes my lover TICK.... It is very precious to me to be with a man where I feel the freedom to be ME... my whole self....& to seek to know him in every way...to not be pushed away like an intruder -his feeling it is "none of my business", or a wall up to a secret place -that I can not go....reaching to know him better, what motivates him, what turns him on, his darkest secrets to his highest highs in life.... I want a part in that.

I see this as building a beautiful closeness & abounding TRUST .

The whole needing some Mystery - to hold attraction is not something I require. Passion does not fade with me -or my husband when we bare & share it all. Maybe this is because we are both the "Hopeless Romantic" type ~ I don't know.

Now that we blown the roof off this house (in the sexual)... we have reached even greater heights in intimacy .... wouldn't trade this for the world. We share every fantasy, and talk crazy deep about all of these things. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,408 Posts
Well I used to tell my bf everything. He thinks I crush on a lot of stars but I don't. I'm boring and I don't really have any fantasies. I don't flirt period.

Uh.... I tell him my personal health issues every time. Pretty open about most of it.

It hurts being left out. Pretty sure my guy flirts at work because he says flirting is okay among coworkers and friends. *Eyeroll*

Wonder how he'd feel if I did it!
Guarantee he wouldnt like it! ;)

Posted via Mobile Device
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top