Hi everyone, I wanted to get married people’s opinions on this. I'm dating my boyfriend of almost a year and we've talked in depth about getting engaged. It'll probably happen in the next four months, but the problem is I'm having some doubts. I wanted advice to see if these are normal or if I should reconsider our relationship.
My boyfriend and I both love each other very much, but I also know that sometimes just because two people love each other doesn’t mean that they’re right for each other. We’re two very different people. To start off, he’s not religious and I am (not overly so), I’m very respectful of other peoples beliefs because since I don’t know for sure that my beliefs are right, that I should not judge what other people believe in. There’s also politics; I’m conservative/republican and he hates politics. Now I have no problem with us not sharing our beliefs, but he’s very passionate about what he believes in and so he likes to bring it up, and we get into arguments about it. I would much rather we just completely keep those things out of our relationship, because when we do talk about it we’re both stubborn about what we think. I’ve tried telling him this, and he agrees, but then he always seems to bring it up. Also, he’s very sarcastic towards me, and I don’t like sarcasm in a relationship. I don’t mind if he’s being sarcastic about things especially if it’s the two of us joking about other things but not when it involves me. This is probably the worst thing in our relationship, I’ve asked him to stop several times, but unless I’m crying and making an big deal over it, he doesn’t listen. He’ll say I’m sensitive or that he’s just kidding. I’ve never been someone to yell, but he’s made sarcasm a habit and so I’ve started to get tired of it and yell more (which I don’t like). He does try after I make a big deal about it, but then he goes back to his old ways. The last thing that is causing problems for me is, shortly after we started dating, his job and living situation suddenly changed and he decided to start his own business, I supported his decision and I have since. He’s had to put his job first to get everything going and making money from it as fast as possible, but it’s starting to be very stressful for me. I understand him needing to put his job first for the time being but it’s harder than I thought. I feel that the sarcasm might settle down after he gets his career really going though, and he feels more secure in where he’s at. In the beginning of our relationship he was very sweet and it wasn’t until his life was basically shaken up that the sarcasm started. So I feel hopeful that that will settle down.
He’s also a good boyfriend. He’s very sweet to me in his actions, he’s very lovey and he never forgets to tell me how much he loves me or how beautiful I am. He never makes me feel less than that. My confidence is definitely a lot higher than before we were together. He’s very supportive of my dreams in so many ways. We both have similar dreams for our future, and we both want children.
I realize that the paragraph about my doubts is quite a bit longer, but that doesn’t mean that the good things aren’t a big part of our relationship either. This has been on my mind for the past few days. It’s been so difficult, because I don’t know if these things are normal doubts or if these are big warning signs. I don’t want our relationship to end (in fact, I start crying whenever I think about us breaking up), but I also don’t want to go into a marriage (or even engagement) if it’s doomed to fail. I want our dreams to come true, but my fear is that things won’t change so I’ll just always be looking to the future. We love each other, but is that really enough? Thank you for any sincere answers.
My boyfriend and I both love each other very much, but I also know that sometimes just because two people love each other doesn’t mean that they’re right for each other. We’re two very different people. To start off, he’s not religious and I am (not overly so), I’m very respectful of other peoples beliefs because since I don’t know for sure that my beliefs are right, that I should not judge what other people believe in. There’s also politics; I’m conservative/republican and he hates politics. Now I have no problem with us not sharing our beliefs, but he’s very passionate about what he believes in and so he likes to bring it up, and we get into arguments about it. I would much rather we just completely keep those things out of our relationship, because when we do talk about it we’re both stubborn about what we think. I’ve tried telling him this, and he agrees, but then he always seems to bring it up. Also, he’s very sarcastic towards me, and I don’t like sarcasm in a relationship. I don’t mind if he’s being sarcastic about things especially if it’s the two of us joking about other things but not when it involves me. This is probably the worst thing in our relationship, I’ve asked him to stop several times, but unless I’m crying and making an big deal over it, he doesn’t listen. He’ll say I’m sensitive or that he’s just kidding. I’ve never been someone to yell, but he’s made sarcasm a habit and so I’ve started to get tired of it and yell more (which I don’t like). He does try after I make a big deal about it, but then he goes back to his old ways. The last thing that is causing problems for me is, shortly after we started dating, his job and living situation suddenly changed and he decided to start his own business, I supported his decision and I have since. He’s had to put his job first to get everything going and making money from it as fast as possible, but it’s starting to be very stressful for me. I understand him needing to put his job first for the time being but it’s harder than I thought. I feel that the sarcasm might settle down after he gets his career really going though, and he feels more secure in where he’s at. In the beginning of our relationship he was very sweet and it wasn’t until his life was basically shaken up that the sarcasm started. So I feel hopeful that that will settle down.
He’s also a good boyfriend. He’s very sweet to me in his actions, he’s very lovey and he never forgets to tell me how much he loves me or how beautiful I am. He never makes me feel less than that. My confidence is definitely a lot higher than before we were together. He’s very supportive of my dreams in so many ways. We both have similar dreams for our future, and we both want children.
I realize that the paragraph about my doubts is quite a bit longer, but that doesn’t mean that the good things aren’t a big part of our relationship either. This has been on my mind for the past few days. It’s been so difficult, because I don’t know if these things are normal doubts or if these are big warning signs. I don’t want our relationship to end (in fact, I start crying whenever I think about us breaking up), but I also don’t want to go into a marriage (or even engagement) if it’s doomed to fail. I want our dreams to come true, but my fear is that things won’t change so I’ll just always be looking to the future. We love each other, but is that really enough? Thank you for any sincere answers.
Wait another year and just enjoy dating. Don't try to jump the gun. Let it flow naturally, or fizzle naturally.
