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Discussion Starter #1
seems alot of people are jumping in and out of marriage, and maybe not taking it seriously.

Should they legislate at fault divorce so the spouse more at fault gets less of the assets or something? How about if they make a ten year requirement you have to stay married once you are, before you can even apply for a divorce?
what if there was a period after a failed marriage, in which you werent allowed to marry again. Say another ten year requirment.

someone buys a house, loses the house, they cant go right out and buy another one.
why can someone who just lost a marriage be able to go out and do it again?

while i believe in peoples individual rights, it seems much of the poverty, welfare, are the results of failed marriages.
should they force someone who gets pregnant by someone they arent even serious with to attempt a relationship? send the two to spousal counseling even if they arent really together?
Should people of failed marriages who are at fault be refused and state or federal welfare? You know many people who divorce end up on some kind of assistance. Not saying the majority, but many. should they be refused assistance if they are at fault in their divorce?

should we have a divorce penalty?

seems there must be some solutions, to what seems to be a on going problem of failed marriages and broken families etc.

My wife is pretty old fashioned, kind of like 1800's thinking. Im probably even worse like maybe 1500's thinking.
And her but mostly me, are just totally shocked looking at the world around us and all the broken marriages, short marriages, and kids who dont even know who their parents are, or live with the parents.
The entire picture is pretty dismal and odd, i guess in especially my point of view. It just seems that people are more likely to just end a marriage because they arent happy, rather than suck it up and take responsibility for their decision to get married and work it out and make themselves happy.


if there isnt repercussions of divorce, and a seriousness in the idea of marriage then what is the point in getting married? You are breaking your contract if you divorce arent you?

Thoughts?
 

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I think...
1. What difference does it make for YOUR marriage what someone else does in theirs, as long as they are not trying to break up your wife and you?

2. A mandatory 10 year waiting period to divorce? Are you kidding me? So my sister would have to put up with her husband cheating on her for 10 years before she could divorce? And, by that time, they would likely have more children? Uhhh I do NOT think so!

3. And those who are physically abused? Not only physically, but emotionally, and verbally. Are you saying that the victim of such abuse should just suck it up with his or her spouse, so public assistance is avoided? Really?

If these are the kinds of things you are proposing... my God. But then again, I have seen some of your other views. FYI, it isn't only failed marriages that result in people getting on assistance. Sometimes, intact families do as well. Sometimes, they avoid it as much as possible, to avoid that stigma. But then they cave because their kids (which were born BEFORE they got assistance!) are more important to them than their PRIDE! GMAFB You can't suck it up and be happy while someone is bashing your head in. You can't suck it up and be happy when your husband is out screwing anything in a bikini. You can't suck it up and be happy while your wife is out screwing any man who will take her. Really, a 10 year waiting period? Maybe think this out a bit more thoroughly, k?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I think...
1. What difference does it make for YOUR marriage what someone else does in theirs, as long as they are not trying to break up your wife and you?

2. A mandatory 10 year waiting period to divorce? Are you kidding me? So my sister would have to put up with her husband cheating on her for 10 years before she could divorce? And, by that time, they would likely have more children? Uhhh I do NOT think so!

3. And those who are physically abused? Not only physically, but emotionally, and verbally. Are you saying that the victim of such abuse should just suck it up with his or her spouse, so public assistance is avoided? Really?

If these are the kinds of things you are proposing... my God. But then again, I have seen some of your other views. FYI, it isn't only failed marriages that result in people getting on assistance. Sometimes, intact families do as well. Sometimes, they avoid it as much as possible, to avoid that stigma. But then they cave because their kids (which were born BEFORE they got assistance!) are more important to them than their PRIDE! GMAFB You can't suck it up and be happy while someone is bashing your head in. You can't suck it up and be happy when your husband is out screwing anything in a bikini. You can't suck it up and be happy while your wife is out screwing any man who will take her. Really, a 10 year waiting period? Maybe think this out a bit more thoroughly, k?
You dont consider it a steady decline in societal values and morals to allow people to engage in commitments such as marriage and let them out of it so easily? :D

okay, how about a twenty year waiting period, but if you have a good reason (and it better be a good reason) no waiting period. :D
so if they have a good reason, get out of jail free card. they dont have a good reason, they suck it up. If they are at fault for the divorce they get a double whammy and walk away with nothing.

And yes, im a right winger. :smthumbup:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
look at the bright side, people would be alot more careful about who they marry, and alot more careful in their marriages because they will have more fear of being trapped in the marriage.

so they might take it, and enter into it more seriously and avoid lots of headache....:D
 

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Why do you care so much about how others live their lives hmm? And I suppose next you will be saying how people should be married and what they should believe in.
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look at the bright side, people would be alot more careful about who they marry, and alot more careful in their marriages because they will have more fear of being trapped in the marriage.

so they might take it, and enter into it more seriously and avoid lots of headache....:D
The sad thing is there are some who DO think it through very carefully. They think they have great husbands/wives. Then, after those vows are taken, a switch is flipped. The sweet, loving man turns into a wife beater...and there were NO outward signs of this happening. So, no, I do not think there should be a waiting period. And no, I do not think people should suck it up in the above mentioned situations. I think it's a terrible idea to tell a woman to stay married to the man who beats her and the kids while he is in a drunken stupor. I think it's a stupid idea to force someone to stay with a cheater if they wish to divorce.
 

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Why do you care so much about how others live their lives hmm? And I suppose next you will be saying how people should be married and what they should believe in.
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Wait... I forgot... those things can't happen because a man would be hurting himself if he beats his wife or cheats on her. Right. Not everyone thinks like that.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Why do you care so much about how others live their lives hmm? And I suppose next you will be saying how people should be married and what they should believe in.
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because i have children and im raising them here. And sad for me im stuck living around these people as well.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
The sad thing is there are some who DO think it through very carefully. They think they have great husbands/wives. Then, after those vows are taken, a switch is flipped. The sweet, loving man turns into a wife beater...and there were NO outward signs of this happening. So, no, I do not think there should be a waiting period. And no, I do not think people should suck it up in the above mentioned situations. I think it's a terrible idea to tell a woman to stay married to the man who beats her and the kids while he is in a drunken stupor. I think it's a stupid idea to force someone to stay with a cheater if they wish to divorce.
so give a couple of exceptions for extreme cicumstances. The rest of them can suck it up.
 

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I have kids too bri. What do others have to do with your family? Do they come in and out of your house? Tell you how to bang your wife? Breath down your neck while you work? If not I don't see how they effect you other then you paying them far too much attention. If you don't like your place of residence then move. I'm with maricha on this.
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Also, my other sister is already divorced. She doesn't receive food stamps, nor does she receive medicaid for herself. Her kids get it because their DAD is on social security disability. My sister is working full time, so is her new husband. They pay all of their bills on time. They have the food they need each month. Her kids were on medicaid even when she and her ex were still together. The two things are not mutually exclusive, as much as you would like to think they are.
 

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I have kids too bri. What do others have to do with your family? Do they come in and out of your house? Tell you how to bang your wife? Breath down your neck while you work? If not I don't see how they effect you other then you paying them far too much attention. If you don't like your place of residence then move. I'm with maricha on this.
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we already live in one of the more conservative areas of the country. And keep pretty conservative friends. Short of turning amish im not sure how much more conservative we can sorround ourselves with. We vote conservative.
of course the countries happenings do and will effect us over time. Laws passed, societal beliefs etc. etc.
And the damage, does effect us, as part of the country. We pay for it one way or the other because most dont seem to take responsibility for their own decisions. You give the example of that above. someone marrys someone, that is their choice. shouldnt they have the responsibility for that and be refused assistance? It was their choice, or mistake, to make and live with or correct.

Don't get me wrong, we pretty much wrote off the country thinking of it like bablyon and it is doomed. But it is still here, we both are kind of hoping it goes back conservative right wing though, but it may be too far gone to save at this point. Country is a total mess.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Also, my other sister is already divorced. She doesn't receive food stamps, nor does she receive medicaid for herself. Her kids get it because their DAD is on social security disability. My sister is working full time, so is her new husband. They pay all of their bills on time. They have the food they need each month. Her kids were on medicaid even when she and her ex were still together. The two things are not mutually exclusive, as much as you would like to think they are.
you can give a example of the opposite, but statisically i am sure you are aware that the highest percentage of poverty is single mothers in the united states. And the highest allotment of welfare is going to them.
 

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you can give a example of the opposite, but statisically i am sure you are aware that the highest percentage of poverty is single mothers in the united states. And the highest allotment of welfare is going to them.
And how many of them were married before? How many of them got married, got pregnant, and decided "oh, I'm gonna just divorce my husband and go on welfare"? How many were unwed mothers with no goals? I'd say the vast majority of those statistics you mention fall into the last group. Look, I believe that if you marry, you should do all you can to make it work. But that doesn't mean that you give it a time limit before you can divorce if it does NOT work. I'd rather the help go to a divorced parent than to someone who refuses to even TRY to improve his or her life...one who is on drugs or drinking all the time, etc. Don't confuse that with those who are on disability. But if lazy and unwilling to do anything to try? No. But I don't think the kids should go without either.

Anyway, no, the things you are suggesting regarding divorce, I disagree with.
 

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And how many of them were married before? How many of them got married, got pregnant, and decided "oh, I'm gonna just divorce my husband and go on welfare"? How many were unwed mothers with no goals? I'd say the vast majority of those statistics you mention fall into the last group. Look, I believe that if you marry, you should do all you can to make it work. But that doesn't mean that you give it a time limit before you can divorce if it does NOT work. I'd rather the help go to a divorced parent than to someone who refuses to even TRY to improve his or her life...one who is on drugs or drinking all the time, etc. Don't confuse that with those who are on disability. But if lazy and unwilling to do anything to try? No. But I don't think the kids should go without either.

Anyway, no, the things you are suggesting regarding divorce, I disagree with.
so you disagree that a person should be held accountable for their marriage and deciding who they marry, basically.
Which in this age i think you are held more accountable for a car loan than you are a marriage.

How do you feel about at fault divorce?
 

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so you disagree that a person should be held accountable for their marriage and deciding who they marry, basically.
Which in this age i think you are held more accountable for a car loan than you are a marriage.

How do you feel about at fault divorce?
Stop putting words into my mouth. What I disagree with is that you think that there should be legislation, essentially requiring people to stay married, except in "certain circumstances"... I disagree with forcing people to remain married if they have tried to work things out and it isn't working. And yes, it does happen.

As for at fault divorce, I really can't speak for them. I live in a no fault state. Frankly, if you have no intention of divorcing your wife, what business is it of yours whether another couple divorces or not? What business is it of yours who is or is not at fault in divorce proceedings and what happens to them in those circumstances? The answer is NONE. It isn't your business who marries and divorces whom, except yourself (and your wife, since you are married to her).
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Stop putting words into my mouth. What I disagree with is that you think that there should be legislation, essentially requiring people to stay married, except in "certain circumstances"... I disagree with forcing people to remain married if they have tried to work things out and it isn't working. And yes, it does happen.

As for at fault divorce, I really can't speak for them. I live in a no fault state. Frankly, if you have no intention of divorcing your wife, what business is it of yours whether another couple divorces or not? What business is it of yours who is or is not at fault in divorce proceedings and what happens to them in those circumstances? The answer is NONE. It isn't your business who marries and divorces whom, except yourself (and your wife, since you are married to her).
i guess you dont follow the concept of living in a society and within others parameters or legislation and societal norms and acceptances.

you know i vote against legalizing gay marriage every time it comes up too.
what difference do you think that has on me?
Same concept.
 

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i guess you dont follow the concept of living in a society and within others parameters or legislation and societal norms and acceptances.

you know i vote against legalizing gay marriage every time it comes up too.
what difference do you think that has on me?
Same concept.
I would think it makes no difference to you. And you aren't going to draw me into the gay marriage thing either. I made my point regarding your suggestion of divorce legislation. I think it's a ridiculous idea.
 

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They have the no fault and the traditional marriage. The traditional requires the couple to attend therapy together as well as one only being able to divorce if there is infidelity and only if they do decide to divorce. I agree that people should be held accountable for their actions and more often then not... they are.
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*sighs* look bri... its fine and dandy that you have your beliefs but stop trying to force them on the rest of us. I will not agree with it and I am all for gay marriages. Your belief does not own the concept of marriage alone and I happen to have a little sister whose lesbian.
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