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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited by Moderator)
So, the story goes back to about 5 years ago.

I met my partner on facebook, usual meet-ups and hookups that every new couple has. She lived in a different city. Long story short, I was a huge simp and left all my male and female friends aside because she was jealous all the time and I just wanted her to feel comfortable. I was really uncomfortable in the relationship but just wanted to give it my all because that was my first serious relationship. Months pass, I'm miserable but deeply in love and she got pregnant (we planned it), she kept living with her mom in another city for about 5 months because her job was there.

From the beginning of the relationship, her ex was always trying to reach out to her and she would never let me know who he was or what he said to her, only days after and if I asked. This one time, she called me crying because she had talked to her ex while she was pregnant and the dude asked her to marry him and THENNN, she ****ing calls me and gives me **** about not putting a ring on her and bragged about how he wanted to and I didn't. All because I couldn't put a ring on it at the time. Was working 16hrs shifts at the time.

Anyways, she would block me every now and then when I asked her about him or just grabbed her phone to tell him to stop getting in our relationship, so since she lived away from me, the dude visited her and apparently according to her, it used to be my fault for asking him who he was and to stop.

She kept giving me **** after that for years, never gave me the guys name. But, she did however, keep being toxic all the time pushing my friends away from me because she thought I was always cheating on her. Only time I talked to someone else when was she broke up with me (kicked me out of the house like 12x for her jealous rants with no logic) and we were months apart, and that was cheating on my part according to her.

Anyways, fast forward 4 years later, I miss my son. I see him often but I wish I was there with him all the time, I just cant trust her and last time It was me that left because my blood pressure had gone up and had headaches all the time because of stress.


What should I do?
 

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So, the story goes back to about 5 years ago.

I met my partner on facebook, usual meet-ups and hookups that every new couple has. She lived in a different city. Long story short, I was a huge simp and left all my male and female friends aside because she was jealous all the time and I just wanted her to feel comfortable. I was really uncomfortable in the relationship but just wanted to give it my all because that was my first serious relationship. Months pass, I'm miserable but deeply in love and she got pregnant (we planned it), she kept living with her mom in another city for about 5 months because her job was there.

From the beginning of the relationship, her ex was always trying to reach out to her and she would never let me know who he was or what he said to her, only days after and if I asked. This one time, she called me crying because she had talked to her ex while she was pregnant and the dude asked her to marry him and THENNN, she f$&@ing calls me and gives me [email protected]$t about not putting a ring on her and bragged about how he wanted to and I didn't. All because I couldn't put a ring on it at the time. Was working 16hrs shifts at the time.

Anyways, she would block me every now and then when I asked her about him or just grabbed her phone to tell him to stop getting in our relationship, so since she lived away from me, the dude visited her and apparently according to her, it used to be my fault for asking him who he was and to stop.

She kept giving me s$&t after that for years, never gave me the guys name. But, she did however, keep being toxic all the time pushing my friends away from me because she thought I was always cheating on her. Only time I talked to someone else when was she broke up with me (kicked me out of the house like 12x for her jealous rants with no logic) and we were months apart, and that was cheating on my part according to her.

Anyways, fast forward 4 years later, I miss my son. I see him often but I wish I was there with him all the time, I just cant trust her and last time It was me that left because my blood pressure had gone up and had headaches all the time because of stress.


What should I do?
 

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First off are you sure that the kid is yours? You need to get a dna test done immediately.
If the child is yours then talk to a lawyer about visitation rights.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
First off are you sure that the kid is yours? You need to get a dna test done immediately.
If the child is yours then talk to a lawyer about visitation rights.
My son looks just like me, I have no doubt of that but I get where you're coming from. I hate to say it but I thought about it at some point.

It's hard.
 

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Does she prevent you from seeing him?
 

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My son looks just like me, I have no doubt of that but I get where you're coming from. I hate to say it but I thought about it at some point.

It's hard.
Don’t believe that because your son looks like you that he’s yours. Your partner may be attracted to men who look a certain way.
 

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Not at all
So if that is the case. Then you need to come to a parenting agreement and make it a schedule. Every other weekend and two days a week, something like that. For my Dad and I it was Friday night through Sunday morning, and Wednesday night after school through Thursday morning. Then you need to STICK TO IT. Like the sun coming up in the morning. This will force your ex to get used to it how it works, even plan around it. She should be dropping him off or you picking him up and the interaction can be minimal.

I would try first to talk to your ex about this. Along the lines of he is my son and I want to be a part of his life, and this will also take some of the stress off yours

Even if she doesn't want to do this it's not her choice you have rights as a parent, if necessary after you try the non confrontation route get a lawyer.

This is also the best thing you can do for your son. A son needs his father in his life, as does a father need his son.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
So if that is the case. Then you need to come to a parenting agreement and make it a schedule. Every other weekend and two days a week, something like that. For my Dad and I it was Friday night through Sunday morning, and Wednesday night after school through Thursday morning. Then you need to STICK TO IT. Like the sun coming up in the morning. This will force your ex to get used to it how it works, even plan around it. She should be dropping him off or you picking him up and the interaction can be minimal.

I would try first to talk to your ex about this. Along the lines of he is my son and I want to be a part of his life, and this will also take some of the stress off yours

Even if she doesn't want to do this it's not her choice you have rights as a parent, if necessary after you try the non confrontation route get a lawyer.

This is also the best thing you can do for your son. A son needs his father in his life, as does a father need his son.
Thank you! Really needed that.
 

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So is your partner now married to her ex or with someone else?
 
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