[Bremen1984]

Hi all, i was on here a few weeks back and posted that my wife had cheated on me. i know that all of you had stated to RUN! she had confessed on her own to fix the marriage was her own words.

the question that i have is this, i have the ability to track her phone, SMS, calls, and even black numbers and SMS from my PC. i would have full control over her phone at any given time.

Pleas note i would not tell any one how to do this so don't ask....

i don't know if it is a good idea as she is telling me that she wants to fix the marriage and so do I.

 

[F-102]

I guess I would have a long talk and tell her that you need 100% TRANSPARENCY from her, i.e., ask her to surrender any of said info when you ask. If she truly wants to save the marriage, she should be willing to hand these things over. But if she refuses, then you have a whole other situation on your hands, and then I would start planning for divorce.

But if you wish to "spy" (sorry-there is no better word for it), then remember that the essence of espionage is to NEVER let the subject know that they are being tracked. Never reveal your sources, never let her find out that she is being watched.

 

[SlowlyGettingWiser]

After reading your INITIAL thread, I don't know why you would care! You make excuses for your wife's cheating and seem resigned (although not happy) to the fact that she will cheat again.

To spy or not?
Yes - then you will know sooner and catch her in MORE lies.
No - why bother, you're going to accept her infidelity anyway and you already get regularly tested for STDs.

Take your pick, same result either way.

Until you EACH decide to split up and SERIOUSLY WORK ON fixing yourselves (YEARS worth of work for each of you), then there is NO WAY you can seriously and successfully address the issues of this dysfunctional relationship.

My solicited opinion which you can now feel free to ignore.

*

 

[theroad]

You need to do whatever you need to verify NC. And, don't tell the WW how you get info.

 

[naga75]

if she wants to "fix the marriage"...even if she did find out about it...i guess she shouldnt have a problem with it, if thats what you need to do. IMO.
i wouldnt tell her anything. give it a few months and see what you see.

 

[thatbpguy]

Hi all, i was on here a few weeks back and posted that my wife had cheated on me. i know that all of you had stated to RUN! she had confessed on her own to fix the marriage was her own words.

the question that i have is this, i have the ability to track her phone, SMS, calls, and even black numbers and SMS from my PC. i would have full control over her phone at any given time.

Pleas note i would not tell any one how to do this so don't ask....

i don't know if it is a good idea as she is telling me that she wants to fix the marriage and so do I.

This may not be the popular answer, but I would certainly keep track of her in every way possible. I'd want to know. If she changes her ways then you have the satisfaction of knowing she may really be trying. If not, hide the assets and divorce her.

 

[Clark G]

If you plan to work this out I agree with someone that complete transparency is necessary. On the other hand having to track her is not really a marriage. I feel for your situation because i've had my own trust issues since my ex and I divorced after she found another man but I personally would have to stand on two feet and move on and I don't agree with divorce too often but infidelity is tough to overcome.

If you think of perhaps leaving having some sort of proof that can be used (I am no attorney) could potentially help in a divorce settlement if you go that route?

If you both are committed to fixing the marriage then it will obviously take work and time to rebuild that trust. You will know when something is up b/c your radar is high right now.

Good luck...

Joe

 

[chillymorn]

lol , no trust her ?

after all she sounds trust worthy?