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Hello everyone, So let me start off with some background info.
My common-law husband and I have been together for 14 years. I am 36 years old. I have one girl who is 18 from previous relationship, we have a 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl and a soon to be 5 year old boy together. Over the years, our financial strain has really taken a toll on us, and finally, I am at the end of my rope!
For 14 years we have struggled financially. My hubby had worked at the same factory for 9 years and just after we had my son they fired him. So we ended up going on assistance only to have them tell us by law he had to apply for E.I. (unemployment) because if there are any other means of income that is available you must pursue this.
So he did and was granted E.I. Unfortunately, the company that had fired him appealed the decision and won, and we had to repay 5000$, only to turn around and go on assistance again, with a 5000$ debt! We lost everything but a locker full of our belongings and our children, and stayed with his mother (who absolutely despises me to the point I am not allowed in her house!)for a month until we could rent a place which was no easy feat! Believe me when I say that my hubby had to literally beg and cry for her to let us in! We stayed at a shelter with the kids for 2 days before going there. Trying to find a place to rent with four children is unbelievably difficult, but we did manage to find a 4 bedroom townhouse with really cheap rent. But here lies the problem......
We live in a small town that does not have very much for work unless you know someone to get you in, or temping, of which I have been doing for 2 years in hopes of landing a secure job, but to no avail. The hubby just got hired a few months ago at a place the next town over which he carpools with someone to get to, however it is seasonal and now he is laid off for winter. Probably won't get called back until April.
Even though hubby has enough hours to claim unemployment he refuses to apply because we still owe $5000. So frustrating! I say we should because anything is better than nothing. My hubby is not the most motivated person and tends to dream a lot and I'll have to admit that I have followed suit although with some reservation.
So that being said I am done dreaming and I am seeing a very dismal future for my children and myself if something drastic isn't done soon. I wouldn't say our bills are sky high but we just don't make enough to live on. Right now as it stands, we can't buy even the basic necessities that we need such as milk, toilet paper, heat (oil furnace), heck we don't even have two pennies to rub together! On top of that, the hubby has a bad knee which is requiring surgery and even though I have been pounding the pavement myself, there just is nothing here work wise. I am registered with 3 temp agencies here in town and going nowhere fast. The stress of it all is quickly taking me down when all I want is to get out of this mess.
Ever since he got fired from that 9 yr job things have never been the same with him as far as employment goes. He has become lazy and when the going gets tough, he goes into this denial thing. Won't talk about it and when I bring it up he gets agitated, and angry. I am tired of being broke ALL of the time. I feel like I am trapped. I hurt for my children and just can't do this anymore. So I came up with an idea.
My brother lives in Toronto and has always bugged me for years to come live out there kids and all, because there is work.
Hubby and I have fought so many times over the years about it. I want to go, he doesn't...ever! When I mention it he gets his hair all up in a knot and refuses to compromise about it. The argument is that I think that there is more opportunity for us to get financially stable out there, his is he doesn't want to raise the children in the city. I sort of agree to that, but I think that children are also very resilient and can adapt. He doesn't think it's right even if there is a chance to make better money!
So as the years go by here and nothing changes, this is where I have hit the end of my rope. I am prepared to leave the children with hubby and stay with my brother, (he can't take us all lives in an apartment with wife and 2 children)(he can connect me with work) so that I can send money home plus save, eventually having us move out there, or close to. I am just really nervous about the outcome. This is not a soul searching quest or anything like that, but hubby is not willing to sacrifice anything whereas I am, and only with the pretensions of saving my family and financial stability! I just need a solid plan to make it work. I know I would like to come back on the weekends but that probably won't happen for about a month or so until I can get our car on the road (someone gave us a vehicle but it's been sitting in the driveway for 2 months), And I know I will dearly miss all of my children
, but I just don't see any alternative anymore. Please let me know what you think and if you have any questions.
My common-law husband and I have been together for 14 years. I am 36 years old. I have one girl who is 18 from previous relationship, we have a 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl and a soon to be 5 year old boy together. Over the years, our financial strain has really taken a toll on us, and finally, I am at the end of my rope!
For 14 years we have struggled financially. My hubby had worked at the same factory for 9 years and just after we had my son they fired him. So we ended up going on assistance only to have them tell us by law he had to apply for E.I. (unemployment) because if there are any other means of income that is available you must pursue this.
So he did and was granted E.I. Unfortunately, the company that had fired him appealed the decision and won, and we had to repay 5000$, only to turn around and go on assistance again, with a 5000$ debt! We lost everything but a locker full of our belongings and our children, and stayed with his mother (who absolutely despises me to the point I am not allowed in her house!)for a month until we could rent a place which was no easy feat! Believe me when I say that my hubby had to literally beg and cry for her to let us in! We stayed at a shelter with the kids for 2 days before going there. Trying to find a place to rent with four children is unbelievably difficult, but we did manage to find a 4 bedroom townhouse with really cheap rent. But here lies the problem......
We live in a small town that does not have very much for work unless you know someone to get you in, or temping, of which I have been doing for 2 years in hopes of landing a secure job, but to no avail. The hubby just got hired a few months ago at a place the next town over which he carpools with someone to get to, however it is seasonal and now he is laid off for winter. Probably won't get called back until April.
Even though hubby has enough hours to claim unemployment he refuses to apply because we still owe $5000. So frustrating! I say we should because anything is better than nothing. My hubby is not the most motivated person and tends to dream a lot and I'll have to admit that I have followed suit although with some reservation.
So that being said I am done dreaming and I am seeing a very dismal future for my children and myself if something drastic isn't done soon. I wouldn't say our bills are sky high but we just don't make enough to live on. Right now as it stands, we can't buy even the basic necessities that we need such as milk, toilet paper, heat (oil furnace), heck we don't even have two pennies to rub together! On top of that, the hubby has a bad knee which is requiring surgery and even though I have been pounding the pavement myself, there just is nothing here work wise. I am registered with 3 temp agencies here in town and going nowhere fast. The stress of it all is quickly taking me down when all I want is to get out of this mess.
Ever since he got fired from that 9 yr job things have never been the same with him as far as employment goes. He has become lazy and when the going gets tough, he goes into this denial thing. Won't talk about it and when I bring it up he gets agitated, and angry. I am tired of being broke ALL of the time. I feel like I am trapped. I hurt for my children and just can't do this anymore. So I came up with an idea.
My brother lives in Toronto and has always bugged me for years to come live out there kids and all, because there is work.
Hubby and I have fought so many times over the years about it. I want to go, he doesn't...ever! When I mention it he gets his hair all up in a knot and refuses to compromise about it. The argument is that I think that there is more opportunity for us to get financially stable out there, his is he doesn't want to raise the children in the city. I sort of agree to that, but I think that children are also very resilient and can adapt. He doesn't think it's right even if there is a chance to make better money!
So as the years go by here and nothing changes, this is where I have hit the end of my rope. I am prepared to leave the children with hubby and stay with my brother, (he can't take us all lives in an apartment with wife and 2 children)(he can connect me with work) so that I can send money home plus save, eventually having us move out there, or close to. I am just really nervous about the outcome. This is not a soul searching quest or anything like that, but hubby is not willing to sacrifice anything whereas I am, and only with the pretensions of saving my family and financial stability! I just need a solid plan to make it work. I know I would like to come back on the weekends but that probably won't happen for about a month or so until I can get our car on the road (someone gave us a vehicle but it's been sitting in the driveway for 2 months), And I know I will dearly miss all of my children