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Thing is Evinrude, she is already getting a huge reward for cheating and has been all her married life. She lives off her husband’s hard earned wealth without any consequences for her actions so what has he actually got to lose?
Like I said, if I was him I would turn that riches tap off and make her beg for every crumb. If she wanted to divorce, I would fight her every inch of the way, delay it as much as possible, make her pay high legal fees. Yes, I know it would cost me as well but I would want to put her through as much hell as she put me through.

But still, I know I am a vindictive b*stard!
I like the way you think
 

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To answer your question....I would absolutely blow up OM's world, like tomorrow.

More importantly, at the same time, I would blow up your wayward wife's world also. Your marriage was a sham.

She gave this OM so much of herself....all that admiration, fondness and love that should have been for you, went to him. I would be livid, especially thinking that she was defending herself while you rightfully accused her at the time.

Blameshifting, trickle truth, 1000s of outright lies, sloppy seconds, them mocking you and laughing would all roll around my head until I exploded...

I would take her through the gnarliest, knock down, dragout divorce I could, one that lasts about 7 years.
 

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7 years, and casually fessed you when she geeks you are so old you’d say “screw it” and stay with her, after gaslighting you for years.

Id spend my remaining years plotting and setting in place my revenge. Starting with no money spent her way.
 

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7 years, and casually fessed you when she geeks you are so old you’d say “screw it” and stay with her, after gaslighting you for years.

Id spend my remaining years plotting and setting in place my revenge. Starting with no money spent her way.
Yea, at this point, it would be best served to be well thought-out and cold as ice. He's been long played, might be time to return the favor.

Unless of course, she is more calculating than we think, and this sudden truth bomb is intended to blow up the marriage... she takes the money, house, and has the new fling move in....
 

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The long knives are coming out....
 

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OP, I was talking to my husband about this earlier.
His first wife of 23 years cheated on him.
He says no, don't do it, not after all this time. He said that if you do, you will be responsible for hurting his innocent wife and children and grandchildren. You will be responsible for the potential devastation it may cause.

You are all in your 60's now, it is a long time ago. The affair ended 25 years ago. Let it go.
 

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Long story, so bear with me….
My wife and I have been married for 40 years. In year 9, I found out she was having an affair with a co-worker. I was told it lasted about 9 months, I demanded it be over and I also called the guy’s wife to let her in on their secret. They remained co-workers for the next 6 years and occasionally some suspicious things happened during that time, but she controlled the situation by convincing me I was just paranoid, time and time again. Later she resorted to occasional verbal abuse to try to make me back off of accusations.

Nothing unusual here. Cheaters all lie a lot and you rugswept.

As time went on, I forgave her and tried to trust her, but deep down it took many years.

Your gut was telling you the truth but you rugswept and ignored it.

A few weeks ago, (31 years after I found out about the affair) we were traveling through our old town, which brought back the bad old memories. I haven’t spoken about the affair in over 20 years, but I decided to ask if she would tell me the truth about whether I was just over paranoid or what.. She proceeded to tell me it lasted a full 7 years, it was good orgasmic sex (I asked) and they were in love. She says she broke it off when we moved to another town and that she decided at that time she did not really love him. She confirmed that I was not going crazy, that I was not over paranoid and she was the evil, screwed up person and apologized over and over.
Cheaters lie a lot. You know the tip of the iceberg only.

I am now 64, she is now 63 and we both recently retired. I love her, she loves me, I have made plenty of money that she is set up for life, it seems life should be all good, with the exception of digesting this new, very, very ugly news.
She loves you but was engaged in a long term affair? Her OM probably wouldn’t leave his wife so she stuck with her plan B. You.

Here’s the problem -
The guy knew what he was doing. He worked her like a puppet and had her on a string for many years of booty calls, while he led a double life. My wife was maybe 120 pounds in the beginning of the affair and somehow kept getting access to prescription diet pills. I am convinced she was addicted, and he was feeding her the scripts. I have found his - and his wife’s contact info and I am considering jacking up his perfect little life by calling his wife and giving her the whole story. It really bothers me he thinks he got away with it. Any advice truly appreciated before I make that call.
I plan to post this in men’s and ladies lounge to get both perspectives.
Sorry man but he did get away with it at your expense. This is mainly your wife’s fault although he’s a big part of this. Your wife made vows and was married to you. Don’t be surprised to find out 7 years was a lie too. For all you know it could still be onboard. Cheaters lie a lot!!!!
Now you’re making excuses. Your wife knew she was married didn’t she? Yet engaged in a long term affair even after you found out. DNA your kids.
You’ve convinced yourself that you poor wife (muffin) was lost in the woods and was taken advantage of by the big bad wolf. Nope. You are a chump because you want to be. That way you don’t have to deal with the reality of who your wife really is.

Again. DNA YOUR KIDS
 

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OP, I was talking to my husband about this earlier.
His first wife of 23 years cheated on him.
He says no, don't do it, not after all this time. He said that if you do, you will be responsible for hurting his innocent wife and children and grandchildren. You will be responsible for the potential devastation it may cause.

You are all in your 60's now, it is a long time ago. The affair ended 25 years ago. Let it go.
Just more ruqsweeping. How’d that work out before?
 

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Just more ruqsweeping. How’d that work out before?
Its not rugsweeping at all. It's not wanting to hurt innocent people.
This was when they were in their early 30's. His wife was told and she stayed. The OP seems to want to stay with his wife despite her being just as responsible. They are all now in their 60's. Nothing is to be gained by him telling his family. It would be a desire to get revenge pure and simple by hurting people who did nothing wrong.
How anyone could have that on their conscience I have no idea.
 

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Its not rugsweeping at all. It's not wanting to hurt innocent people.
This was when they were in their early 30's. His wife was told and she stayed. The OP seems to want to stay with his wife despite her being just as responsible. They are all now in their 60's. Nothing is to be gained by him telling his family. It would be a desire to get revenge pure and simple by hurting people who did nothing wrong.
How anyone could have that on their conscience I have no idea.
She lied for years so its not impossible that she’s still lying. I’d says it’s more like probable.
 

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I would not tell the OMs wife. Wouldn't help you at all, it only hurts an innocent older person. It was 30 years ago. Now your wife is another matter. But I do know for sure, you don't need stress in your life when you are in your 60's, no matter what advice you hear on this site. If you can forgive, do it. If not, divorce her. But personally after all that time, I'd let it go. If your marriage is good. You knew about affair and you forgave her.
 

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I would not tell the OMs wife. Wouldn't help you at all, it only hurts an innocent older person. It was 30 years ago. Now your wife is another matter. But I do know for sure, you don't need stress in your life when you are in your 60's, no matter what advice you hear on this site. If you can forgive, do it. If not, divorce her. But personally after all that time, I'd let it go. If your marriage is good. You knew about affair and you forgave her.
BS!!! He forgave lies and more lies! Who cares if it was 50yrs ago! Other dude's wife may be living a complete sham/lie as well! Hell, they might be still getting it on to this day! Air it out! All I would ever need to hear in my entire life is "um, I might be sort of talking to this other guy".........SEE YA!!!!!!!! Love to live back in my wooley days where I thought humans were actually monogamous, but that is very rarely the case in reality so I guess if you even talk to the opposite sex, banging is gunna happen. \
 

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BS!!! He forgave lies and more lies! Who cares if it was 50yrs ago! Other dude's wife may be living a complete sham/lie as well! Hell, they might be still getting it on to this day! Air it out! All I would ever need to hear in my entire life is "um, I might be sort of talking to this other guy".........SEE YA!!!!!!!! Love to live back in my wooley days where I thought humans were actually monogamous, but that is very rarely the case in reality so I guess if you even talk to the opposite sex, banging is gunna happen. \
That's you. I would of left her 30 years ago but now they've lived a happy marriage and they are 64. Good grief, I don't know how old you are but at 64 you tend to move on.
 
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