I had never thought I would write about what I’m going through these days. But after reading couple of stories here, I believe I might feel better if I share my issues with you and read your comments.
I married my wife four months ago. At that point, we had been dating for a year and a half. Last summer I caught her lying me about a very stupid and small thing. That was the first time she lied to me and it really pissed me. After that, I started to notice some unusual behaviors of her. I can’t describe it but I just felt it. I felt something wasn't going as good as it used to be. So I decided to talk to her again. Firstly, she said I’m exaggerating as there was nothing wrong with her. But, after I pressured her, she admitted that there was a guy (engaged one) who was calling and texting her. But, as she said, she doesn't want to talk to him. So I thought it will pass and the guy won’t be calling anymore. But, as the time passed by, I didn't see any change on my (at that time) gf’s behavior. And I started to notice that her cell would always be on silent. I got the calling list of hers and seen she was calling that guy both, from work and from her personal cell. But he said she was calling him and asking him to stop bothering her. That didn't really make sense. Why would you call somebody to tell that person not to call you? It kept going on for couple of months and I continued to ask her and pressure her about her behavior. She would tell me bits and pieces and at the same time claim I know everything about what’s going on in relation to that guy, though I felt the need for her to stop and tell me everything that’s going on with her. Then she’d continue telling me how he’s still calling her but she wants to be with me only and I’m the only man for her. I tried to explain to her that lying and deceiving isn’t good for the relationship and offered to leave her alone if she would want to give it a try with him. But she refused it and didn’t want to talk about it. I also made up a trip one day and decided I would follow her to see what she’s doing during the day. And at the very same day, she meets that guy for lunch break. She was with a friend of hers so she wouldn't be seen alone with him. After I confronted her later, she said it was the first and only time she met him. At this point, I don’t know if I believe her.
Before we got engaged, I asked her to agree that she will never ever lie to me again. She agreed and she said that it was her life lesson that she shouldn't be talking to any other guy anymore without telling me.
After the engagement, she again lied to me about some stupid things that were related to this guy. And after marriage, she again lied to me. At this point of time, I feel as if all the anger of the world is in me. Although I asked her many times to tell me everything as if I knew nothing and try to discuss the roots of the problem, she’d say I know everything and there is no need to bring up those not-good memories. She didn’t feel good about what she did. Recently I realized that she kept in contacts with him for about six months. She’s claiming there was nothing there and it was just a friendship, that she met him only once and that she realized how bad it was of her. She also said that he asked her out many times and offered to leave his fiancé for her, she’s saying she said no to everything. She’s claiming that she always loved me and will always love me, although she admitted that she liked that guy at some point while talking to him. Although I have no proof she had met that guy again, I still cannot believe that she would talk and text to him for over six months period. And she would do that behind my back and behind the fact that I didn't like what she did. Having read what the text, would you believe she had nothing with the guy? Would you believe that people would talk for six months and start nothing more than just a talk? Is it possible there was nothing between them other than just talk? (any women insights). I have so much resentment in me. And I feel as if I will never be able to trust her again.
I married my wife four months ago. At that point, we had been dating for a year and a half. Last summer I caught her lying me about a very stupid and small thing. That was the first time she lied to me and it really pissed me. After that, I started to notice some unusual behaviors of her. I can’t describe it but I just felt it. I felt something wasn't going as good as it used to be. So I decided to talk to her again. Firstly, she said I’m exaggerating as there was nothing wrong with her. But, after I pressured her, she admitted that there was a guy (engaged one) who was calling and texting her. But, as she said, she doesn't want to talk to him. So I thought it will pass and the guy won’t be calling anymore. But, as the time passed by, I didn't see any change on my (at that time) gf’s behavior. And I started to notice that her cell would always be on silent. I got the calling list of hers and seen she was calling that guy both, from work and from her personal cell. But he said she was calling him and asking him to stop bothering her. That didn't really make sense. Why would you call somebody to tell that person not to call you? It kept going on for couple of months and I continued to ask her and pressure her about her behavior. She would tell me bits and pieces and at the same time claim I know everything about what’s going on in relation to that guy, though I felt the need for her to stop and tell me everything that’s going on with her. Then she’d continue telling me how he’s still calling her but she wants to be with me only and I’m the only man for her. I tried to explain to her that lying and deceiving isn’t good for the relationship and offered to leave her alone if she would want to give it a try with him. But she refused it and didn’t want to talk about it. I also made up a trip one day and decided I would follow her to see what she’s doing during the day. And at the very same day, she meets that guy for lunch break. She was with a friend of hers so she wouldn't be seen alone with him. After I confronted her later, she said it was the first and only time she met him. At this point, I don’t know if I believe her.
Before we got engaged, I asked her to agree that she will never ever lie to me again. She agreed and she said that it was her life lesson that she shouldn't be talking to any other guy anymore without telling me.
After the engagement, she again lied to me about some stupid things that were related to this guy. And after marriage, she again lied to me. At this point of time, I feel as if all the anger of the world is in me. Although I asked her many times to tell me everything as if I knew nothing and try to discuss the roots of the problem, she’d say I know everything and there is no need to bring up those not-good memories. She didn’t feel good about what she did. Recently I realized that she kept in contacts with him for about six months. She’s claiming there was nothing there and it was just a friendship, that she met him only once and that she realized how bad it was of her. She also said that he asked her out many times and offered to leave his fiancé for her, she’s saying she said no to everything. She’s claiming that she always loved me and will always love me, although she admitted that she liked that guy at some point while talking to him. Although I have no proof she had met that guy again, I still cannot believe that she would talk and text to him for over six months period. And she would do that behind my back and behind the fact that I didn't like what she did. Having read what the text, would you believe she had nothing with the guy? Would you believe that people would talk for six months and start nothing more than just a talk? Is it possible there was nothing between them other than just talk? (any women insights). I have so much resentment in me. And I feel as if I will never be able to trust her again.
