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You are not naive, but you are staying with her for the wrong reasons. Are the kids all yours and did you DNA them to be certain that they are? You love them for sure and you are sacrificing a lot for them. Please make sure they are legitimately yours. Your wife is a loosey goosey and it is very probable that you are not the only one who could impregnate her.

Sorry man for picking so dang wrong. You sure did pick a bad woman for a wife. She ain't marriage material for sure. She won't be earning mother of the year award any time soon either. I'm glad your kids have you.

If she can't be faithful, you should reach an agreement with her that allows you to seek pleasure in others too. You shouldn't be the only one getting the short end of the stick here. What will happen when she decides one of these men is a better option for her than you?

Be prepared for that monkey wrench!
Better said, 'Monkey Wench!'

Ah, sorry!

.........................................................................

To be honest, I would not hate her, I would just write her off.

She is an investment that never proved profitable.

It is better to live life having less money, then to live it owning no dignity.

Divorce.


KB-
 

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Yes, be worried and keep your eyes open and your mouth shut when poking around for information.
 

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Discussion Starter #43
Hello everyone,
Sorry for not posting in awhile it's been a hellacious week at work.I'll check in tomorrow morning when I can get some time to myself. Thanks for all the continued support.
 

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Discussion Starter #45
Ok so I confronted her about the snapchat. She deleted it as predicted says she never used it plus she didnt want to mess things up because we've been doing so well lately. Checked out the guys FB page married,kids,seems like a family man. Said that he was probably added because snapchat automatically adds your phone contacts who are members. She had his number because she is the one who was dealing with setting appointments and writing the checks which I knew about and was ok with. She showed me all text communication between them and it was all business related. Of course she could have deleted any compromising texts so who knows. Really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
My wife is a very attractive woman. She works in a busy office building and has Male co workers and clients. There are literally thousands of apps and chatrooms,websites,and social platforms. What's worse is people can have multiple accounts and identitys along with burner phones and devices.
She is not the center of my universe anymore. I have a great life and relationship with my kids. If we split up she will have another man living there in a month tops. Maybe hes a nice guy,maybe not.. maybe he likes kids,maybe not.
Then the bloody mess of a divorce that will follow.
With all this being said I'm not opposed to keeping my eyes and ears open.and am open to taking suggestions. I'm a dummy when it comes to tech to be honest. I tried to install an app on her phone once but couldn't get it to work right. She has an I phone and I have all passwords also most of her bad activities were done on an old mac laptop she deleted all her messages but the computer is slow but still works so maybe get info from the hard drive ?
 

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Ok so I confronted her about the snapchat. She deleted it as predicted says she never used it plus she didnt want to mess things up because we've been doing so well lately. Checked out the guys FB page married,kids,seems like a family man. Said that he was probably added because snapchat automatically adds your phone contacts who are members. She had his number because she is the one who was dealing with setting appointments and writing the checks which I knew about and was ok with. She showed me all text communication between them and it was all business related. Of course she could have deleted any compromising texts so who knows. Really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
You're right, it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things because you're not ready to hear the truth and actually believe the steaming load of bull she gave you.

She is not the center of my universe anymore. I have a great life and relationship with my kids. If we split up she will have another man living there in a month tops. Maybe hes a nice guy,maybe not.. maybe he likes kids,maybe not.
Let me guess - you have that on the same authority that told you half your paycheck would "go to her for life," right? Alex, attractive women are a dime a dozen - yours isn't unique. That doesn't automatically mean tons of men are going to be beating each other up just for the privilege of moving into your house so they can deal with you - her angry, bitter ex-husband - and your kids. Believe it or not, most men don't find an attractive woman worth paying THAT kind of price tag. Will they want to date her? Sure. Will they want to have sex with her? Absolutely. Would they want to move into her house with her and have to deal with her kids? Oh HELL no. That's just another nonsense excuse you tell yourself so you can continue clinging to her like grim death and not have to do anything about your situation.

With all this being said I'm not opposed to keeping my eyes and ears open.and am open to taking suggestions. I'm a dummy when it comes to tech to be honest.
Even when you do keep your eyes open and you DO find obvious evidence, you just manage to delude yourself back into submission again anyway, because you really don't want to know the truth.
I tried to install an app on her phone once but couldn't get it to work right. She has an I phone and I have all passwords also most of her bad activities were done on an old mac laptop she deleted all her messages but the computer is slow but still works so maybe get info from the hard drive ?
And when you find out, yet again, that you married a sneak and a liar, what will you DO with that information? Will you make a bunch of excuses for her again and pretend everything she told you is the gospel truth, like you're choosing to do this time when you caught her with the hidden Snapchat account?

Nothing changes if nothing changes.
 

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Discussion Starter #49
You're right about the "half my paycheck" comment it wasnt meant to be taken literally. Of course I cant predict the outcome of a court case before it happens but here's what I do know based on my experience and the laws in the state Where I live.
I have a son from a previous relationship who is 19. In my state you pay child support until they are 21 for the most part unless they are in college then it can be extended. Also have to furnish health insurance till the age of 26.
So I'll give you an example based on someone making $1000 a week and is paying support for 2 kids.
$1000
- $250 child support 25%
_$300 federal/state tax 30% approximately
-$150 health insurance through my employer
$150 other miscellaneous deductions 401k ect
So in this example the actual take home pay from $1000 a week salary would be $150. Remember child support is taken out pre tax. This isn't my actual salary I just used it because it's a nice round number but you get the picture.
Right now I see my kids everyday and I know they are safe. Me and my son have the best relationship and love baseball we go to major league games all the time. My daughter is my whole world. I get to stay in my house. I look at my wife as a sex playmate or FWB/roommate, not my wife so it is what it is. I'm a good looking guy and would have no problem getting a date plus I got a few female "just a friends" too since the rules have changed.
I work with a guy who's wife cheated on him too. He has her under lock and key. She has to document all miles driven,take pictures of places she goes,and is under constant surveillance and subject to random cell phone searches. That's no way to live and I dont want to be that guy. She will resent him and ultimately lose any love she has left. I ultimately want to save my marriage maybe someday she'll grow up.
 

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Nothing worse than being the marriage police, that a hell of a way to live.
 
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