You need to see A GOTTMAN CERTIFIED THERAPIST and both get couseling,She is feelling powerless and not gertring her emotional life needs met by you, home, family, and self. She needs to feel autonomous and secure. The way you handle money is a sore spot and a way to keep score. This is her way to get your attention. If she wanted to leave you would be on your butt with a restraining order to get you out then serve you papers. The way you handle it will be a testament to come through as a loving partner marriage or you get taken to the cleaners via family court.i have a good business that makes 6 figures. my wife helps me with the business and has access to all my bank accounts, a few years back she wanted her own bank account - so we opened her a bank account and she pulls what she wants when she wants from our joint account.
basically we have the business account which she has access to, we have a joint personal account, and then she has her own account.
we work from home, can work from anywhere and have a very laid back business, we only work a few hours a day and really sometimes not even that in fact sometimes we dont work at all for days on end and our income remains.
really have a blessed life, our house is paid for in a good area, we have an amazing 7 year old girl, we go to the gym daily for hours (separate gyms), nothing is missing in our life thank god, no debt.
We have been married for 10 years.
we recently found ourselves in a position via an investment to make ALOT of money FAST, it is underway and seems its going to come through any day now.
My wife and i were speaking of what we will do with the money, spoke about real estate, moving and selling our home, all sounded great then she said she wants to take part of the money and put it aside for "FOR HERSALEF" i was shocked. she has accesses to every single dime and thing we own why would she want to "hide" anything away from me?
it seems to me she is getting ready to leave, that's what this sounds like anyway, why else would she want to put money "for herself" in some separate account i dont have access to.
really ticks me off she is creating this separation, of "mine and yours" in my eyes we are a team and own it all together. never was there anything she wanted she didn't get.
what are your thoughts? what other reasons would she want to put money aside for just herself?
Beshert- look it up.Soulmate, but this is the pivital point of real love. a marriage in a rebirth of the marriage. Its a love that lasts but requires change on both your parts. Understanding is key, And as a man, you need to let you wifer become a new woman like a butterfly via chrysralia phase.and really be interested in her. REALLY BE INTERESTED LIKE YOU FIRST DATED. wHEN THIS IS BUILT YOU will both be blessed with growth and intimacy and new resoect and love. Just don;t make any rash decisions. Like 6 months. don;tmake any. Both read books by Gottman PHD, and dr, laura's book Proper care and feeding of marriage. good luck