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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i have a good business that makes 6 figures. my wife helps me with the business and has access to all my bank accounts, a few years back she wanted her own bank account - so we opened her a bank account and she pulls what she wants when she wants from our joint account.
basically we have the business account which she has access to, we have a joint personal account, and then she has her own account.

we work from home, can work from anywhere and have a very laid back business, we only work a few hours a day and really sometimes not even that in fact sometimes we dont work at all for days on end and our income remains.
really have a blessed life, our house is paid for in a good area, we have an amazing 7 year old girl, we go to the gym daily for hours (separate gyms), nothing is missing in our life thank god, no debt.

We have been married for 10 years.

we recently found ourselves in a position via an investment to make ALOT of money FAST, it is underway and seems its going to come through any day now.
My wife and i were speaking of what we will do with the money, spoke about real estate, moving and selling our home, all sounded great then she said she wants to take part of the money and put it aside for "FOR HERSALEF" i was shocked. she has accesses to every single dime and thing we own why would she want to "hide" anything away from me?

it seems to me she is getting ready to leave, that's what this sounds like anyway, why else would she want to put money "for herself" in some separate account i dont have access to.

really ticks me off she is creating this separation, of "mine and yours" in my eyes we are a team and own it all together. never was there anything she wanted she didn't get.
what are your thoughts? what other reasons would she want to put money aside for just herself?
 

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i have a good business that makes 6 figures. my wife helps me with the business and has access to all my bank accounts, a few years back she wanted her own bank account - so we opened her a bank account and she pulls what she wants when she wants from our joint account.
basically we have the business account which she has access to, we have a joint personal account, and then she has her own account.

we work from home, can work from anywhere and have a very laid back business, we only work a few hours a day and really sometimes not even that in fact sometimes we dont work at all for days on end and our income remains.
really have a blessed life, our house is paid for in a good area, we have an amazing 7 year old girl, we go to the gym daily for hours (separate gyms), nothing is missing in our life thank god, no debt.

We have been married for 10 years.

we recently found ourselves in a position via an investment to make ALOT of money FAST, it is underway and seems its going to come through any day now.
My wife and i were speaking of what we will do with the money, spoke about real estate, moving and selling our home, all sounded great then she said she wants to take part of the money and put it aside for "FOR HERSALEF" i was shocked. she has accesses to every single dime and thing we own why would she want to "hide" anything away from me?

it seems to me she is getting ready to leave, that's what this sounds like anyway, why else would she want to put money "for herself" in some separate account i dont have access to.

really ticks me off she is creating this separation, of "mine and yours" in my eyes we are a team and own it all together. never was there anything she wanted she didn't get.
what are your thoughts? what other reasons would she want to put money aside for just herself?
Tell her you'll do the same thing. That way you both have money that you're not accountable to each other for a certain sum of money.
 

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I am a great believer in joint accounts in marriage, but if she insists on this then tell her that you will put the same amount away in an account in your name only. Also say that you want openess in this so you can both see each others statements etc
Have you sat her down and asked her why she has decided to do this?
Oh and why do you go to separate gyms?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Oh and why do you go to separate gyms?
we used to go to the same gym, she needs a trainer, and her trainer moved to another gym so she also did.

as for the joint account.... i did ask her, of course. her parents are now undergoing an ugly divorce she doesn't want to end up like her mom who is left with nothing, her dad is suing her mom, and her uncle for giving her mom money for lawyers.... i dont think she gets it that we dont have any prenup and if we do separate, then she gets half anyway.

the main thing that bothers me here is she is being a huge BI** about it, im honestly thinking of ending this marriage over this, i see this as a separation and i want my family united. i dont know why buy i feel a family should be one unit. she wouldn't want me to be able to see what in her account and what she spends money on... very strange and i just dont trust her anymore.
 

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we used to go to the same gym, she needs a trainer, and her trainer moved to another gym so she also did.

as for the joint account.... i did ask her, of course. her parents are now undergoing an ugly divorce she doesn't want to end up like her mom who is left with nothing, her dad is suing her mom, and her uncle for giving her mom money for lawyers.... i don't think she gets it that we don't have any prenup and if we do separate, then she gets half anyway.

the main thing that bothers me here is she is being a huge BI** about it, im honestly thinking of ending this marriage over this, i see this as a separation and i want my family united. i dont know why buy i feel a family should be one unit. she wouldn't want me to be able to see what in her account and what she spends money on... very strange and i just dont trust her anymore.
I think your wife should have some money, for emergencies, in the event of your death. Just to keep things simple until she sorts everything out.
That's not bad, if that's all she is doing.
I think you're consideration of a divorce may have scared her into doing this.
Once a man threatens divorce, it's forever on a woman's mind.
It's the female equivalent of a infidelity blowjob.
Once done, it's forever etched in the marriage.
 

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as for the joint account.... i did ask her, of course. her parents are now undergoing an ugly divorce she doesn't want to end up like her mom who is left with nothing, her dad is suing her mom, and her uncle for giving her mom money for lawyers....
the main thing that bothers me here is she is being a huge BI** about it
very strange and i just dont trust her anymore.
Trust your guts here. You are right in not longer trusting her. Whatever, whoever is putting crap in her head, is making it a self fulfilled prophecy.

Start stealthily, checking her modes of communication to see if you can discern who and what's being fed to her.

Do not give in. It must be all in the open as far as finances going forward.
It's time to consult with a lawyer about where you stand in the case of a divorce.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think your wife should have some money, for emergencies, in the event of your death. Just to keep things simple until she sorts everything out.
That's not bad, if that's all she is doing.
I think you're consideration of a divorce may have scared her into doing this.
Once a man threatens divorce, it's forever on a woman's mind.
It's the female equivalent of a infidelity blowjob.
Once done, it's forever etched in the marriage.
i have life insurance. in case of my death she would get it all + more. and she as of now also has it all, she is the one with access to stuff that i dont have access to not vise versa. and she has all the money she needs. seems to me she want to hide something.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Trust your guts here. You are right in not longer trusting her. Whatever, whoever is putting crap in her head, is making it a self fulfilled prophecy.

Start stealthily, checking her modes of communication to see if you can discern who and what's being fed to her.

Do not give in. It must be all in the open as far as finances going forward.
It's time to consult with a lawyer about where you stand in the case of a divorce.
i was thinking of a lawyer, and your 100% right, i will get our 7 year old to unlock her tablet or phone for me as she knows the password so she can play games and what not. ill snoop around see if there is something i can find. thanks....
 

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i have life insurance. in case of my death she would get it all + more. and she as of now also has it all, she is the one with access to stuff that i dont have access to not vise versa. and she has all the money she needs. seems to me she want to hide something.
That all takes time.
It's better to have some money onhand that doesn't take a few months to access.
I agree you to find out if she's planning a divorce or if she's having an affair with her trainer and everything.
I'm just saying that if she is just setting aside some money for personal security, just because of the mishaps in life that, in itself, is not a bad thing.

I also agree with you that she shouldn't be denying you access to that money. You should know how much she has put away.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
That all takes time.
It's better to have some money onhand that doesn't take a few months to access.
I agree you to find out if she's planning a divorce or if she's having an affair with her trainer and everything.
I'm just saying that if she is just setting aside some money for personal security, just because of the mishaps in life that, in itself, is not a bad thing.

I also agree with you that she shouldn't be denying you access to that money. You should know how much she has put away.
it does not take time as my account is a joint account and she has access to the company account as well as many assets she can liquidate quick. also her family has money, I would not worry about her financialy wich makes it even more strange
. I wish she had an affair with the trainer SHE is super hot 😅 I should have mentioned it's she
 

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it does not take time as my account is a joint account and she has access to the company account as well as many assets she can liquidate quick. also her family has money, I would not worry about her financialy wich makes it even more strange
. I wish she had an affair with the trainer SHE is super hot 😅 I should have mentioned it's she
It is strange, if there are no risk factors to a catastrophic event to you.
I don't think she's being entirely truthful to you.
I would check her messages for sure.
 

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I think your wife should have some money, for emergencies, in the event of your death. Just to keep things simple until she sorts everything out.
That's not bad, if that's all she is doing.
I think you're consideration of a divorce may have scared her into doing this.
Once a man threatens divorce, it's forever on a woman's mind.
It's the female equivalent of a infidelity blowjob.
Once done, it's forever etched in the marriage.
Where did he say he has threatened her with divorce?
 

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her parents are now undergoing an ugly divorce she doesn't want to end up like her mom who is left with nothing, her dad is suing her mom, and her uncle for giving her mom money for lawyers....
there is your answer! She suddenly woke up and said something like "my mom and dad, I thought they had a good marriage. now they are divorcing. I probably need some protection". it was not a ratonal decision....she just woke up and said "where is my bag of money, just in case"

for some reason she is feeling insecure. I do not think she is planning on taking the money and running of to Belize with her personal trainer!
Give her some money, and forget-a-bout-it.
 

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we used to go to the same gym, she needs a trainer, and her trainer moved to another gym so she also did.
Going to a separate gym, even with a female trainer, is an opportunity to be groomed by other gym rats and/or the female. The whole gym genre is notorious for facilitating stuff not marriage friendly. But you likely know that already since you spend hours (?) there yourself. There have been plenty of instances where female convinced a wife to "join the other team" if you get my drift. If she is spending hours at the gym, she has bonded with who knows who there.

You have a lot of money, and evidently a lot more on the way. That is a major attraction, especially if your wife has been publicizing the situation.

BTW, is the wife maybe bored with working from home? Something has happened to change ( or maybe expose ) the dynamic in the marriage.

I think your wife should have some money, for emergencies, in the event of your death. Just to keep things simple until she sorts everything out.
They have joint accounts. Which means if he kicks the bucket she can access all the money they have in emergencies or otherwise. In fact, she could clean him totally out right now from both the business and personal account. He wouldn't even be able to hire an attorney. Worse, if she absconds with the funds from the business, he won't be able to pay the taxes either. I had a friend long ago whose business "partner" pulled everything out of the business account, left the country and my friend with no money and the IRS looking to him for their money. Not a good position to be in. I would have thought a business account would require both signatures to access funds, but what do I know?

My advice to him would be to get a personal account for himself and put at least as much in it for his own use as they put in her personal account.
 

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it does not take time as my account is a joint account and she has access to the company account as well as many assets she can liquidate quick. also her family has money, I would not worry about her financialy wich makes it even more strange
. I wish she had an affair with the trainer SHE is super hot 😅 I should have mentioned it's she
This is IMO unwise for your own protection! You need to restructure this situation as fast as you can! Think of the risk to your own wellbeing! Right now she can write a huge retainer to an attorney and take you for however much she wants to. Maybe waiting until she gets her private account funded.

You wouldn't be the first spouse blindsided by a train wreck they didn't suspect. Thinking they were living a charmed marriage only to wake up one day with disaster on their doorstep.

Be careful what you wish for. The super hot female trainer may only be interested in wealthy females. She may have been giving your wife advice about life going forward.
 

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I agree with @Rus47 that something has happened recently to change the dynamics of the relationship or her feelings for you. To me the working out for hours at a separate gym is suspect. Just because she has a female trainer doesn’t mean other guys are not coming on to her.

Also, why is it that she has access to all of your money and business accounts but you don’t have access to her phone? Does she have access to your phone? My wife and I have access to each other’s phones and have always had joint accounts. I make much more than my wife but have always thought of it as our money.

I can partially understand that her parents going through a divorce may have caused her to think about this but you work together and have a this is our money attitude and prove it with her complete access to all of your accounts. It doesn’t sound like her mother worked which is not her situation. The “family “ courts always make sure a divorcing wife gets awarded cash and prizes anyway. You better do some digging. Something doesn’t smell right.
 
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