Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I apologize in advance, since this is not about me, so I don't have all the details. I am a concerned outsider, hoping to get a different perspective on the situation.

A few months ago my sister married her husband. She lives a long distance from our family (about 12 hours by car) so we don't see her as frequently as she sees his relatives - so they know her better than we know him. Understandable. However, my concern has been watching the change in her since they became serious, moved in together, and married. My sister has added most of these people on to her Facebook page, and frequently spends time with her husband's friends, acquaintances, etc. I'm glad she is embracing his circle and getting to know them better. He, however, has not done the same (or at least her friends have not done the same). Her female friends, yes; but their male partners, who they must double with occasionally, no. He has chosen to keep his friendships, but not add on many of hers. She seems more and more to be adding his friendships to her life while he keeps her life at a distance. It almost seems like they do what he wants, my sister being a very easy going person and low-key. I'm worried she is becoming too involved in his circle and losing hers.

Should I be concerned, or is this normal after marriage?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,361 Posts
I wouldn't be worried unless you see her behaving as if she's unhappy.

I won't say it's "normal" necessarily, but it is common. I would be concerned if it appeared she was becoming isolated from outsiders altogether, but to replace her previous support network with a new one is a healthy thing to do if she's now living in a new place.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
This situation sounds all too familiar. I did the exact same thing that your sister is doing. I used to have a LOT of friends. Some I was friends with for over 9 years. When my husband and I got together he hung around with all of us. He then made it clear that he did not feel as though he fit in with my friends. I gave up all of my guy friends because he didn't think it was appropriate for me to have friends of the opposite sex. He didn't have a problem (at first) with me staying in contact with their spouses until now. I love him and started to get to know his friends and family. I gave up all of my friends besides 1. I didn't have a problem with it at first because I thought it was the right thing to do but I was wrong. I regret it and if your sisters situation is similar to mine she will too. My mom and sister tried telling me they were concerned (just as you are) but at that point it only made me mad. I thought they just didn't like him and didn't want me to be with him. I hope things work out for the best and she doesn't regret things like I do
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top