I have posted on here before but its was so fresh I ranted on and probably never made sense. Basically I was with my ex for over 5 years before we got married. We were married just over a year when I found txts to a woman on his phone! He lied to her about his job (as he didn't have one at the time) and said he loves her. I immediately txt her telling her I was his wife and she was shocked. He then suddenly told me that he didn't love me any more and loved this woman who he had never met as she lived miles away. Yet earlier that night he was as loving toward me as he usually was, everything between us was fine although it was stressfull as we were living with my parents until we could afford to move out.
The next day he met me and said he still loves me and he thought the grass was greener on the other side and she took him out of reality of being jobless, depressed and on drugs! The following weeks he was up and down between me and this woman. He would say he loves me then the next day say he didn't. In the end I took him some of his stuff and told him to stay at his mums. He begged me not to walk away saying he loves me and only me but I walked away thinking he would chase me. I was wrong. He started texting this woman again and decided he was going to move to be with her (even though he never met her!) He said she made him feel good about himself so he loves her not me. I accepted it and left him to it. He still txt me and said he wanted to stay in touch as he still cared for me.
A few days later he text me saying she was ignoring his texts and said she couldn't pick him up. He told me he had been stupid and he will never learn. We began texting regularly. I got some info on divorce and told him about it. His reply was don't do that let's go on a date!! I was shocked but agreed. A couple of weeks later we went on our date and had a great time. At the end of the night he stared into my eyes and said he had missed me so much and still loves me to pieces. I asked why he said he didn't and his reply was that he wanted to convince himself that he didn't love me because we got stuck in a rut and my accusations toward him (I am insecure so accused him a lot of cheating when he wasn't, checking his phone etc).
We met up the next day and held hands, kissed and acted like we were a couple again. He said he was so happy that we were working on things and agreed to do marriage councelling with me. Everything was going well between us, I even spent the night with him at his mums and he cuddled me all night. I must admit I did still accuse him during our dating time but not as much. After the night I spent with him I went home the following afternoon. He was fine with what we were doing and we were taking it slow.
Out of the blue that night he txt me saying he didn't want us no more. When I delved deeper I found that this woman he was going to move in with had started texting him again saying the reason she ignored him was because I had text her saying he didn't want her. I told him this was a lie and he said he believed me but to leave him for now as he wasn't sure what he wanted.
A couple of days later I text him asking if he was ok and if he had thought about us at all. He said he had a little but he didn't wanna be rushed into making a decision. I let him be. A few days later I text just saying hello and he never replied. I asked if he had met someone else and he never replied. I stupidly went through his phone bill (it was in my name so I had access) and found he was texting a number for 4 days so I text it saying I was his wife etc. This woman then rang me. It was a different woman to the one he had previously been texting. She said that he was with her but they were just friends and he had told her all about me and my controlling ways. When I spoke to him I asked if he wanted a divorce and he paused for about 6 seconds before saying yes. I text both of the with threats, how could u do this to me etc and he replied saying he hadn't loved me in ages and he wanted this woman.
She told me on the phone that if we are to move on we shouldn't have contact with each other as we both have feelings for each other still. He even told me himself that she was helping him to get me out of his head! She said I never loved him and she knows him better then I ever did in 6 years, yet she had only just met him the day after the origional woman had txt him out of the blue! She has since told me to stay away from him, his work and his family or she will get an injunction against me! I have had no contact with him since then at all and he hasn't tried to contact me.
What's strange is he hasn't been to his mums since either. He hasn't moved any of his belongings into her house, yet hasn't stayed at his mums nor has he been to visit which is really out of character for him. He did put a fb comment saying how happy she makes him. The dating site that he met both these women on he is still going on daily, most times 2 or 3 times a day so he can't be that happy surely?
I'm so confused as everything was going great between us until the origional woman txt out of the blue. Its almost like he found the nearest woman to him to go be with. He said he had been talking to her online for a while, so if he really did love her over me why did he start dating me again, telling me he loves me, acting loving toward me. I trying to get my head around whether she a rebound for him to try move on or whether he really is happy with her. His mum agrees with me that his behaviour is out of character for him.
He was diagnosed with depression in aug this year but wasn't taking his tablets all the time and has since stopped alltogether. He was addicted to drugs too. I'm not sure if he still does love me and will eventually contact me, or if he really isn't bothered about me anymore. He was not only my husband but my best friend and I was his. I don't get how he can just shut me out overnite. I'm wondering if me texting her was the final straw for him.
If anyone has any possible answers I would appreciate it.
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The next day he met me and said he still loves me and he thought the grass was greener on the other side and she took him out of reality of being jobless, depressed and on drugs! The following weeks he was up and down between me and this woman. He would say he loves me then the next day say he didn't. In the end I took him some of his stuff and told him to stay at his mums. He begged me not to walk away saying he loves me and only me but I walked away thinking he would chase me. I was wrong. He started texting this woman again and decided he was going to move to be with her (even though he never met her!) He said she made him feel good about himself so he loves her not me. I accepted it and left him to it. He still txt me and said he wanted to stay in touch as he still cared for me.
A few days later he text me saying she was ignoring his texts and said she couldn't pick him up. He told me he had been stupid and he will never learn. We began texting regularly. I got some info on divorce and told him about it. His reply was don't do that let's go on a date!! I was shocked but agreed. A couple of weeks later we went on our date and had a great time. At the end of the night he stared into my eyes and said he had missed me so much and still loves me to pieces. I asked why he said he didn't and his reply was that he wanted to convince himself that he didn't love me because we got stuck in a rut and my accusations toward him (I am insecure so accused him a lot of cheating when he wasn't, checking his phone etc).
We met up the next day and held hands, kissed and acted like we were a couple again. He said he was so happy that we were working on things and agreed to do marriage councelling with me. Everything was going well between us, I even spent the night with him at his mums and he cuddled me all night. I must admit I did still accuse him during our dating time but not as much. After the night I spent with him I went home the following afternoon. He was fine with what we were doing and we were taking it slow.
Out of the blue that night he txt me saying he didn't want us no more. When I delved deeper I found that this woman he was going to move in with had started texting him again saying the reason she ignored him was because I had text her saying he didn't want her. I told him this was a lie and he said he believed me but to leave him for now as he wasn't sure what he wanted.
A couple of days later I text him asking if he was ok and if he had thought about us at all. He said he had a little but he didn't wanna be rushed into making a decision. I let him be. A few days later I text just saying hello and he never replied. I asked if he had met someone else and he never replied. I stupidly went through his phone bill (it was in my name so I had access) and found he was texting a number for 4 days so I text it saying I was his wife etc. This woman then rang me. It was a different woman to the one he had previously been texting. She said that he was with her but they were just friends and he had told her all about me and my controlling ways. When I spoke to him I asked if he wanted a divorce and he paused for about 6 seconds before saying yes. I text both of the with threats, how could u do this to me etc and he replied saying he hadn't loved me in ages and he wanted this woman.
She told me on the phone that if we are to move on we shouldn't have contact with each other as we both have feelings for each other still. He even told me himself that she was helping him to get me out of his head! She said I never loved him and she knows him better then I ever did in 6 years, yet she had only just met him the day after the origional woman had txt him out of the blue! She has since told me to stay away from him, his work and his family or she will get an injunction against me! I have had no contact with him since then at all and he hasn't tried to contact me.
What's strange is he hasn't been to his mums since either. He hasn't moved any of his belongings into her house, yet hasn't stayed at his mums nor has he been to visit which is really out of character for him. He did put a fb comment saying how happy she makes him. The dating site that he met both these women on he is still going on daily, most times 2 or 3 times a day so he can't be that happy surely?
I'm so confused as everything was going great between us until the origional woman txt out of the blue. Its almost like he found the nearest woman to him to go be with. He said he had been talking to her online for a while, so if he really did love her over me why did he start dating me again, telling me he loves me, acting loving toward me. I trying to get my head around whether she a rebound for him to try move on or whether he really is happy with her. His mum agrees with me that his behaviour is out of character for him.
He was diagnosed with depression in aug this year but wasn't taking his tablets all the time and has since stopped alltogether. He was addicted to drugs too. I'm not sure if he still does love me and will eventually contact me, or if he really isn't bothered about me anymore. He was not only my husband but my best friend and I was his. I don't get how he can just shut me out overnite. I'm wondering if me texting her was the final straw for him.
If anyone has any possible answers I would appreciate it.
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