[CanadianGuy]

I had posted another thread about this in that past as I had discovered my wife is reading erotic novels.

Here's the thing. She is very secretive about these books almost like she's hiding them. Tucked here and there out of sight etc. Hidden in her lunch kit or within a stack of other books when I know full well thats the one she's reading.

Ideas on this Ladies?

 

[CanadianGuy]

A lot of women aren't open to the fact that they not only read these things but enjoy them. So naturally there's a little embarrasment about leaving them out on the coffee table like it's a mystery novel. Just like a guy keeps hustlers in a box in a closet, so too do women keep erotica hidden. It's not really trash, it's just her getting into a more emotional and fantasy type satisfaction. Trashy would be if you were finding S&M Blazer Group vids on her desktop. Let her have her books, and her secret, just like you boys have yours ;]

So she's a bit embarrassed? The difference here is she knows where I put any kind of sex media. Movies books etc. I do not hide it from her. So embarrassed makes sense. Thanks for the input fiora.

 

[Chelle D]

She's embarrassed?

However, I would NOT say that "hidden in her lunch kit" is hiding it! LOl

She's openly reading it at work on break/lunch.
She probably just left it there.

If it is in a stack with other books, could she possibly have finished reading that romance novel & is on to the next one?

 

[alte Dame]

Many women find it embarrassing. It's not just the erotica. It's that the typical romance novel is considered pretty low-brow by many.

Apparently, the romance genre started selling through the roof when the Kindle and Nook took over - people could read these things for the first time without anyone seeing the Fabio-type covers and the titles, e.g., 'Surrendering to the Highlander' .

It's just embarrassment, I would bet.

 

[RClawson]

My wife has always read the mysteries with the hot guy detective and they were always fairly racy but lately she has been shutting down the ipad when I came around so I took a peak when she was not around and it is still the same genre but the sex themes are flat out pornographic.

Now when I see her with the Ipad I will occassionally toss out "how's the porn" and she is emphatic that she does not look at porn. Bahahahahahaha.

 

[CanadianGuy]

She's embarrassed?

However, I would NOT say that "hidden in her lunch kit" is hiding it! LOl

She's openly reading it at work on break/lunch.
She probably just left it there.

If it is in a stack with other books, could she possibly have finished reading that romance novel & is on to the next one?

Yes it is hidden. It is beneath everything else with the cover facing down. It's one of those fabio type covers..

And no she hadn't finished reading it/them.

 

[vcy0812]

As a reader of romance novels and the occasional erotic novel, I can relate to your wife. I don't hide mine from my husband, I read them right in front of him, but it took me a while to get to that point. If I am in public, I try to hide the covers of my books because I don't like people to nose into my books. When I have my Kindle, I'm not concerned with that because there is not crazy cover.

She may be hiding them because she is embarrassed and may feel like she can't talk to you about reading them or doesn't want you to see her read them because she thinks you will make fun of her. I think you need to give her time to open up about it or just ask her about reading them. You don't need to be critical or make fun of her because it will make her feel bad. Just a casual, hey what have you been reading will suffice.

 

[I Notice The Details]

She must be embarrassed about you seeing what she is reading. If it is keeping her juices flowing, then good for her!!! I would just let it go. YOU will benefit from her mind being filled with sexy thoughts anyway.

If it were my wife, I would joking say...if you run across any "really good parts" in your book that I would like...please fold down the page corner so I can enjoy them later.

 

[Caribbean Man]

My wife doesn't read romance or erotic novels, but she loves to look at those romance movies! Especially the ones with the steamy love making scenes.

Sometimes she likes to look at them with me, sometimes she prefers to look at them alone.

Doesn't bother me, its " her thing."

 

[Stonewall]

I would buy her more. Reading is fundamental!!!!

 

[Wanting1]

The thing is a lot of people have a hugely negative opinion about romance novels and don't hesitate to tell the reader. It can come across as criticizing at the least, and openly making fun of the reader at the worst. Have you made negative comments about these novels in the past? I'm way over it, but I find it frustrating when somebody makes a deprecating comment about what I'm reading. Especially when the commenter makes a snide remark about my reading material, but can't even name the last book they read because "they don't read."

You might be surprised but between the romantic and erotic scenes, there is some pretty good storytelling going on in the romance genre. Yes, there's a lot of fluff, but that's true of any genre. It doesn't take much digging to find excellent authors who are masters of their craft.

 

[CallaLily]

I would just accept it, women love the visual images they get in their mind from reading hot erotic novels. ALL women do it. Let it go!


Ha! Sorry I couldn't resist. I have always wanted to respond like that, you know how some people will tell women that, whose husbands are watching porn, get over it they all do it! There is a lot of that that goes on when it comes to porn.

Anyway the above is not my real advice to you, and sorry If I was making light of the subject. The hiding it and lying about it though is in response to how you would react, its more than likely the same with men who hide their porn from their wives.

 

[Chelle D]

Yes it is hidden. It is beneath everything else with the cover facing down. It's one of those fabio type covers..

And no she hadn't finished reading it/them.

Hubby knows that I read lots of romance books. True, some get racier than others.. some not, just good romantic storyline. There were only a couple times I really tried to hide the cover...

Once, he commented about the buff body on the book cover & said in a self belittling kind of way.. that he was "Sorry he couldn't satisfy me with his body, because it didn't look like that". I tried to reassure him that he's gorgeous to me. & that it's not the cover that gets me hot.

I don't think he even realizes what the books are like, I think he thinks that every third page its talking about the male character putting his package into females face... or something like that! He would be SO disappointed if he took the time to read my books! LOL.

But anyway, After he made that comment, I put that book aside for a while. I made sure the books I bought for a while didn't have naked torso's. Not because I'm ashamed of what I'm reading, just don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't hide the books now, but if the cover picture is kind of "buff looking" I don't flaunt it either. I will read it in front of him, , but when I set it down, I put it cover down.

 

[CanadianGuy]

I would just accept it, women love the visual images they get in their mind from reading hot erotic novels. ALL women do it. Let it go!


Ha! Sorry I couldn't resist. I have always wanted to respond like that, you know how some people will tell women that, whose husbands are watching porn, get over it they all do it! There is a lot of that that goes on when it comes to porn.

Anyway the above is not my real advice to you, and sorry If I was making light of the subject. The hiding it and lying about it though is in response to how you would react, its more than likely the same with men who hide their porn from their wives.

I'm not bothered by it in the least.

 

[CanadianGuy]

Thanks for all the replies. I would not tease her or bother her about reading them. That would IMO be a silly thing to do. She an avid reader.

 

[LastUnicorn]

I have a leather bound box where I keep my fav smut books. DH is thrilled when he sees me riffling through them! Or request a trip to the book store for another.

Encourage it, she may be thinking you don't approve so she's embarrassed. Maybe tell her 'I love making love with you after you've been reading! You pour all that passion on me! Yum!'

Get her a gift card to her fav book store wrapped in a lacy racy new pair of panties.

 

[IsGirl3]

Ha! Your wife sounds like me! Ever since I read the 'Shades of Grey' trilogy, I then went on to discover Cherise Sinclair books and other similar books. They are all steamy books about B/D. Although I was not shy to let my husband know that I read '50 Shades of Pleasure' in the hopes to improve our sex life and encouraged him to read it, too (still waiting), I am totally shy about letting him see the other books that I'm reading (on my kindle). I think bondage and discipline is taboo, and although it really turns me on, I am still embarassed that I enjoy reading it. I wish I could get over that and try is with my husband, but for now, it embarrasses me, so maybe that is what your wife is reading. I think this is a great opportunity to act on this fantasy sex life that your wife is getting from her books.

 

[Sameold]

A lot of people have no problem saying romance is trash. Also, do you have kids? That'd be a good reason to be a bit secretive about them . . . or maybe it's just me and my precocious readers--I put the Jean Auel books into hiding this week--I do not want to cover some things with my eight year old. He can stick to straight up anatomical facts for a while.

 

[CanadianGuy]

A lot of people have no problem saying romance is trash. Also, do you have kids? That'd be a good reason to be a bit secretive about them . . . or maybe it's just me and my precocious readers--I put the Jean Auel books into hiding this week--I do not want to cover some things with my eight year old. He can stick to straight up anatomical facts for a while.

I thought about that as we do have kids and I'm sure a certain amount of secrecy has to do with that. However I know she is actively hiding it from me as she does certain things like hiding the cover when reading it and not answering in a truthful way when I ask her whats she's reading. lol.

 

[Catherine602]

It's nice to have a private time to do whatever you want.

Are you concerned about the effect on your relationship? I don't think there will be a negative effect. In fact it may be positive. I think it is better that you not spy or try to catch her out. You don't want pleasure from reading erotica to have negative associations.
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