Joined
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168 Posts
Married 4 years, no kids. I'm 30, wife 29.
She's having an affair, been going on 4 months, 2 months with my knowledge. She's been out of the house since the end of August and staying with him for the last month. She's on the verge of moving to another city with him, but said we could still stay married. Um, that was the final straw for me and I picked up divorce papers, told her I'd file the next day if she moved, and finally said I'd cease all contact with her (admittedly it took me too long) unless she ceased contact with him.
Last night I came home and found a letter saying she wanted to end our marriage, which I expected but still what a hard blow. I spent the night laying in bed with my eyes closed and sleep-swearing (like snoring but instead I muttered "****"). Then this morning I get a text saying she thinks she made a mistake. When I was at work I get another one saying she's willing to cease contact and come home, and could I pick her up from his house now and all her stuff. So of course I left work immediately, picked her up, and brought her home.
I knew it was going to be rough, and that she'd be fighting an urge to go back to him. I expected a rough couple days at the very least. Well I got on the train back to work and received a text that she'd moved all her stuff back. She was home for an hour. She's tried to leave him several times, and according to her, very often has a "come get me" text prepared to send me with her finger hovering over the button. This was the longest she's ever left him.
Now she is almost certainly moving in two weeks. She wants to remain friends, but I told her Friday will be the last day she sees me until she ceases contact with the OM - which could very well mean I'll never see her or speak to her again.
I have one last possibility for bringing her out of the fog - that a dearly respected and deeply religious aunt of hers doesn't know about her affair. Some of her family knows already, and she's planning on bringing the OM home for Christmas (ugh), but should I ask her aunt to talk some sense into her?
Also since I just started no contact and it seems to have had an immediate effect, should I wait a while to file for divorce?
She's having an affair, been going on 4 months, 2 months with my knowledge. She's been out of the house since the end of August and staying with him for the last month. She's on the verge of moving to another city with him, but said we could still stay married. Um, that was the final straw for me and I picked up divorce papers, told her I'd file the next day if she moved, and finally said I'd cease all contact with her (admittedly it took me too long) unless she ceased contact with him.
Last night I came home and found a letter saying she wanted to end our marriage, which I expected but still what a hard blow. I spent the night laying in bed with my eyes closed and sleep-swearing (like snoring but instead I muttered "****"). Then this morning I get a text saying she thinks she made a mistake. When I was at work I get another one saying she's willing to cease contact and come home, and could I pick her up from his house now and all her stuff. So of course I left work immediately, picked her up, and brought her home.
I knew it was going to be rough, and that she'd be fighting an urge to go back to him. I expected a rough couple days at the very least. Well I got on the train back to work and received a text that she'd moved all her stuff back. She was home for an hour. She's tried to leave him several times, and according to her, very often has a "come get me" text prepared to send me with her finger hovering over the button. This was the longest she's ever left him.
Now she is almost certainly moving in two weeks. She wants to remain friends, but I told her Friday will be the last day she sees me until she ceases contact with the OM - which could very well mean I'll never see her or speak to her again.
I have one last possibility for bringing her out of the fog - that a dearly respected and deeply religious aunt of hers doesn't know about her affair. Some of her family knows already, and she's planning on bringing the OM home for Christmas (ugh), but should I ask her aunt to talk some sense into her?
Also since I just started no contact and it seems to have had an immediate effect, should I wait a while to file for divorce?