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My wife of 30 yrs has been emotionally distant for the last 6-9 months. I finally asked her recently if I made her happy. she got very angry and told me she could not believe I would ask her such a thing.......she then really shut down on me.
I asked again this week if we could talk about us-she told me there was no us to talk about....she had seen an attorney 2 weeks prior and needed my financial affidavit. She refuses to go to MC. we went 15 years ago and she was fired by counselor after she would not admit to any thing she needed to change. I shared with her that if that was what she wanted , ok, but I felt that 30 years was a lot of investment and we should perhaps separate first. She said she would have to check with her attorney first but would only agree if she could end it immediately whenever she wanted. I asked how we should tell our kids (ages 25,23,21,17,12) and she said she wouldn't be surprised....She move to a different bedroom.
one week later we took the family to a sports bar for dinner and out of the blue she announces to the kids" you probably notice I am not wearing my wedding ring, this marriage is over! 2 of the kids ran crying into the parking lot. I went to console them and texted her that was inappropriate. kids avoid her now
we are in our early 50s and over the last year she has been on a major fitness kick, dresses like she is in her 20s. spends three hours a day at the beach. Starting going out with "friends" on weeknights." Very Active socially. She doesn't work and has not for 27 years. I have always provided well for my family.
I finally broke down and checked cell phone records and she is in constant contact with a couple of guys and gals I never heard of. ever. texts until midnite, start back at 7am. mores the gals than guys.
My wife is an evangelical christian and I do not think is involved in PA but suspect EA.
I am very confused as we seem to be in an akward holding pattern. I consulted an attorney who told me not to leave the marital home. I am a physician and am away at hospital for up to 24 hours at a time but when I am home she won't speak to me unless spoken to. Guards her cell phone, goes outside to talk.
She has not served me yet with divorce papers.
Is it simply time for the 180??
Thanks for any advice
I asked again this week if we could talk about us-she told me there was no us to talk about....she had seen an attorney 2 weeks prior and needed my financial affidavit. She refuses to go to MC. we went 15 years ago and she was fired by counselor after she would not admit to any thing she needed to change. I shared with her that if that was what she wanted , ok, but I felt that 30 years was a lot of investment and we should perhaps separate first. She said she would have to check with her attorney first but would only agree if she could end it immediately whenever she wanted. I asked how we should tell our kids (ages 25,23,21,17,12) and she said she wouldn't be surprised....She move to a different bedroom.
one week later we took the family to a sports bar for dinner and out of the blue she announces to the kids" you probably notice I am not wearing my wedding ring, this marriage is over! 2 of the kids ran crying into the parking lot. I went to console them and texted her that was inappropriate. kids avoid her now
we are in our early 50s and over the last year she has been on a major fitness kick, dresses like she is in her 20s. spends three hours a day at the beach. Starting going out with "friends" on weeknights." Very Active socially. She doesn't work and has not for 27 years. I have always provided well for my family.
I finally broke down and checked cell phone records and she is in constant contact with a couple of guys and gals I never heard of. ever. texts until midnite, start back at 7am. mores the gals than guys.
My wife is an evangelical christian and I do not think is involved in PA but suspect EA.
I am very confused as we seem to be in an akward holding pattern. I consulted an attorney who told me not to leave the marital home. I am a physician and am away at hospital for up to 24 hours at a time but when I am home she won't speak to me unless spoken to. Guards her cell phone, goes outside to talk.
She has not served me yet with divorce papers.
Is it simply time for the 180??
Thanks for any advice