[bobby5]

I tried everything to reconcile. I havent given up but will leave it a bit as christmas is here and we have kids and i dont want to ruin it. She said she wants to be friends but dont friends return call, make time for each other and enjoy updating each other about thier lives. She cant seem to do this with any consistancy desopite us having 2 kids together. Shes very nice and then stops communicationg. I think all im wanted for now is money and being a dad. I know this is not unusual but why not admit it and be real about it. Maybe im all wrong. im being very calm on the outside but i am hurting so much. im sick and i reaf the future will be way worse. noone else involved yet. that will really mess me up.

 

[Chelle D]

I think you are interpreting her "being friends" differently than maybe what she meant.

Sounds like she "ONly " wants to be friends.. Ie, that you are trying to reconcile & she does not want that.
She wants you to be a dad to the kids, and help with the monetary support you should give for fathering those kids. She wants it "as friends".

I don't think she meant it as actually being friends & buddy buddy with you. I think she means it as she wants you to be a dad & finanacially responsible & you two be on friendly terms (not fighting or arguing about child rearing issues). But in no means, does that necessarily translate into wanting to "be friends" with an ex.

I might be completely off key here. But, I think if she said she wants to be friends, I think she only didn't want to fight about the kids, about the split up anymore. She just wants to go with the flow & not be bothered, not be fighting.

 

[SlowlyGettingWiser]

Bobby: I posted on your other thread as well about the 180; PLEASE READ IT!

I am a woman and, as such, I'm telling you YOU'RE SMOTHERING HER. Your falling-apart and neediness are a complete TURN-OFF to your wife. You need to man-up and RELAX...desperation is NOT ATTRACTIVE on anyone.

Women do not want a man who acts like he's going to DIE without us. That is TOO MUCH PRESSURE. We want you to be in our lives because you WANT to be in our lives, because we add something to your life and vice versa, NOT BECAUSE YOU N-E-E-D us.

Please go read your other thread. Please look into the 180 SERIOUSLY with an OPEN MIND (it is NOT playing games).

 

[Toffer]

180 - NOW

If she gave a [email protected] about what you were up to she wouldn't have dumped you

 

[Emerald]

I tried everything to reconcile. I havent given up but will leave it a bit as christmas is here and we have kids and i dont want to ruin it. She said she wants to be friends but dont friends return call, make time for each other and enjoy updating each other about thier lives. She cant seem to do this with any consistancy desopite us having 2 kids together. Shes very nice and then stops communicationg. I think all im wanted for now is money and being a dad. I know this is not unusual but why not admit it and be real about it. Maybe im all wrong. im being very calm on the outside but i am hurting so much. im sick and i reaf the future will be way worse. noone else involved yet. that will really mess me up.

You are right. True friends make time for each other & return phone calls.

Right now she is not your friend.