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2,151 Posts
Condensing this down:
1. You have a porn problem that you need to seek help with quitting (wouldn't deem this as an issue except you continued after your wife expressed discomfort).
2. Your wife may have a drinking problem (drinking heavily while taking care of two young children is not the way a reasonable person copes).
3. Your wife has had at least one emotional affair and possibly a physical affair.
I really wish people would stop throwing out the idea that divorce is more harmful than staying in an unhealthy marriage. I can tell you that seeing parents who behave like this in a marriage is a lot more toxic than seeing parents divorced, living separately and healthy.
My two cents - you both need IC and MC. Complete transparency for you both (keyloggers/text/email passwords, etc.) in the meantime.
1. You have a porn problem that you need to seek help with quitting (wouldn't deem this as an issue except you continued after your wife expressed discomfort).
2. Your wife may have a drinking problem (drinking heavily while taking care of two young children is not the way a reasonable person copes).
3. Your wife has had at least one emotional affair and possibly a physical affair.
I really wish people would stop throwing out the idea that divorce is more harmful than staying in an unhealthy marriage. I can tell you that seeing parents who behave like this in a marriage is a lot more toxic than seeing parents divorced, living separately and healthy.
My two cents - you both need IC and MC. Complete transparency for you both (keyloggers/text/email passwords, etc.) in the meantime.