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after two month apart, she told me that is loves me. We went on a date and at then end she said this. I have been going crazy or the last 2 months trying to figure out what to do. Everyone around me has been giving me all sorts of advice, but i decided to do what I wanted and felt was right and I waited. finally got her to go to a good therapist and after that she had said that there may be a possibilty of reconcilation, so I am going to hold on strong and fight for it. We discuss how much that this needs to be a lession and we need not look into the past to see what we did not do be looking forward to see what we can do. We still have alot of work but holding hands and two goodnight kisses gives me hope.
 

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Would be great to hear what lead to the separation and what the last 2 months have been like...but the current state sure sounds hopeful! Good luck man!
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She has been gone for 2 months now. we went to a therapist twice and it was a just us blaming each other, the first time i was under attack, the second time I attacked her. When I said I was sorry for what I said she doesn't remember what I said to make her get up and leave. I had planned a nice night out and she came downstair saying that I should go by myself. This turned into our lives are on different paths, and that she was not happy for the past few years, and I told her she is never happy, but she does not remember me saying it. The last she called and left a message telling me that she wants to sell our car by the end of the month, but then other day I spoke to her about it and she said why would you sell the car you need it. And she was talking to me like a friend, she said she cares about me but has not told me she loves me. I set up an appiontment with a different therapist and she did not show up. When I ask why she said she couldn't make it. She gave my this line " I've been a good wife and you have been a good husband all I did was leave you." what is that suppose to mean, she doesn't want a divorce or a separations. She feel that she has made the right chose. Her biggest problem with me is that I don't communicate. and now that I am trying to communicate she doesn't want it. I just very confused and lost.
 

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Post why .
But now this morning we got in another arguement, but about selling the house and the car, and money. And now I am not sure she will goto therapy this thursday because she she doesn't think we could affort it.
 

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How old is she? Reason I ask is last November after a nice meal together we come home sit down start talking and in the middle of the conversation, she up and storms out of the house.

It took 4 months, but she came home. In the end it all added up to be a MLC. She was in the fog of blaming me for her unhappy life... it is always the spouse that made them unhappy...not that they are in a form of depression.

Patience is the key and mitigating the damage they can do to the relationship while the cloud hangs around them.

Try not to argue. Do not get pulled into her confusion if you think it is a MLC. Can happen in late 20's, 30's and mostly 40's and 50's.
 

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edward,

if your wife truly loves you she will jump through hoops to be with you. She would actually do some heavy lifting after leaving you and hurting you.

You seem to be the type that doesn't take advice, so I won't say much, but her "I love you" means nothing without actions to back it up.
 

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Thank you, as stated , zero evidence of cheating. Enabler? Dead on the mark.....
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My apologies for the "cheater" remark. I know how it feels when people call your wife a cheater without evidence. Sorry.

But then again...you just don't know :(

Stop enabling. It's been too long.
 

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Actually, i have. By necessity. Tired of the coldness, tired of it all. Tired of the mind games. Tired of her trying me feel guilty for her feeling like the most horrible person in the world. Im just f*ckin tired period.
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Two therapy sessions with her both were good, we went out after both. the therapist told us to go out and have fun together. just got home from the second date, was not has good has the first. You see my therapist, yes I am see someone by myself, she feels she does not need her own, Keeps telling me to focus on the good things, she it going to therapy and she is meeting with me going on "DATES", though it feels like I am courting her all over again. Funny because she things she is missing out on some great life that she just let pass by her. She keeps tell me the we need to look to the future we cannot dwell in our past lessions. See has been upset that I move money, close a bank account and told her that I have not asked her how she is doing. I said in my head you left me, and yo9u never asked how I was doing I volunteer those feeling because I am going to theraoy and that iwas what I have been told to do. That i why she know how I feel. Though this date she was more distance then the first. I don't understand why she does not she the good things that I did. I have not filed for divorce or separation, and I was damn close from listening to what everyone around me was saying, but you see I did what I wanted to do, this is the big thing I am supposed to do what I want to do. well if I said just sit on the sofa drink beer and watch tv I dont think that would go over well. But i have been looking for new jobs and hoping to turn things around for me, because that seem to be the answer. DO WHAT I WANTA DO.
 
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