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And perhaps some day we can have a thread all about being the "safe choice" when that's not what you thought was happening.
I wasn't a "safe choice", but she (my wife) turned out not to be what I thought she was, and viceversa, I'm sure... being parents to our children just killed us. We weren't probably well equipped for that.
 

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And perhaps some day we can have a thread all about being the "safe choice" when that's not what you thought was happening.
This Thread is recently active and is close to the subject. The "safe choice" is mentioned along that thread.

And, none of us go into marriage thinking that we are a "plan B". In fact, that must be obfuscated in order to get us to the marriage. None of us would say "I do" to being the "safe choice".

It seems that the OP's wife has only recently understood that marriage under her conditions is a highly-selfish choice which has no consideration for her husband and his needs at all. It's all about her, always has been. Time will tell whether she can move into a more unselfish mode.....but I'm very afraid that her actions and statements of recent times are "toothpaste out of the tube" which will eat her marriage alive....
 

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I've said it too many times before. Look up symptoms of female mid life crisis. There's a drop in hormones at certain age and that affects physical and intimacy desires. Also relationship and social status affect it as well. Learn them, use that famed human brain to outwit them, or allow natural to take its course.

Cuddling someone releases oxytocin and estrogens. Having sex or acting physically increase/releases testosterone. Losing fights reduces testosterone, blocks dopamine, and releases cortisol. Women having sex results in significant increases of oxytocin, estrogen, and testosterone; not having sex reduces these things - having physical connection with someone you dont like or dont feel like touching/being with, is the same as losing a fight. These dont just change your levels, they change the way the body responds and _desires_, well before the conscious mind registers the feeling or emotion, these hormones are change the very potential for desire.

Learn to manage them in tandem for ecstatic experience.
 

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Same here... it's rather disappointing, but at least I have lovely children... and we are not working on it... :)
Just what do you think you're signing up for? Self-made playboy millionaires with secure companies not needing their attention spewing limitless passive wealth, with social connection to the best balls who plays golf and takes sporting trips in tropical and exotic islands while the staff take care of everything and have no emotion requirements are the stuff of fantasy books. And Ken is a plastic doll, who doesn't mind being tossed in the box when you're not using him.
 
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