My wife 3 weeks ago told me point blank first thing in the morning that she loves me but isn't in love with me. This news took a day or so to sink in. The passion in our 17 marriage has had fits and starts but i was shocked that with 3 young children she would tell me this when it will be at least 12 years before the youngest will be old enough to live on her own. I kept my cool on the outside but inside ive had severe anxiety and depression. There are things that she said added up to the conclusion one of them being the 16 year age difference her being the younger. for the last several weeks ive addressed all of the things that were important to her and she has noticed and said that its made a huge difference but we will revisit how things look in a year but she may want to consider and open marriage. Even though she said the attraction isn't there anymore, we have never had such a hot physical streak as the last 3 weeks. Partly because she feels she can trust and get support from me what she is going through. Ive been open to her fantasies of seeing other men etc but told her acting on it could be a place that destroys our family. Even though she says she thinks we can save the marriage she says I should get a girl friend and explore that option. My friends say she is just going through a phase and encourage her to see a couples therapist. She says she doesnt want to and knows how he feels. I cant wait a year to find out if this is going to work out, I feel like i need to ask her to see a therapist so we can work on this now. I dont know if she is just trying to figure out the financials but she really doesnt seem to have any concern for the welding of our children. I am really afraid of this ripping the family apart and losing everything including the whole side of her family. She says we should care enough about each others happiness to be open to any possibily including divorce. I just dont know how I can be happy for the person who broke my heart and ripped our family apart in the middle of tasing our kids. I think tonight is the night I really tell her we really need a 3rd person to sort this out or else there will be great risk to their dads well being(me). Any advice about getting through this?