[Diana7]

You are still not answering my question...

Yes she is desperate for attention from her 'followers'. She keeps a tally of her likes. She puts them there for attention. No other reason.
She may or may not be attractive(remember anyone can use photographic techniques to look a certain way) but she still seeks constant affirmation from others even if means she gets awful comments as well.

 

[DownButNotOut]

You were talking in general terms about behaviours. What if he doesn't like her eating cakes? Some requests can be unreasonable. Is it ok to respect your partner's request if the request is unreasonable to you? Who is not respecting whom? He posts his pictures showing his muscles. It's double standards. Typical of a controlling male.

Well, I guess she has a choice to respect his opinion or not doesn't she.

His pictures aren't a double standard, they're a different standard. If she has a problem with them, she is free to tell him she doesn't like it. That's part of her standards, not his.

If you feel your partner's request is unreasonable, you are free to ignore it. As long as you are prepared to face consequences for your decision.

 

[In Absentia]

If you feel your partner's request is unreasonable, you are free to ignore it. As long as you are prepared to face consequences for your decision.

I think this is why she is here... but she is not getting the answers she wanted, apart from me...

 

[In Absentia]

Yes she is desperate for attention from her 'followers'. She keeps a tally of her likes. She puts them there for attention. No other reason.
She may or may not be attractive(remember anyone can use photographic techniques to look a certain way) but she still seeks constant affirmation from others even if means she gets awful comments as well.

We agree to disagree...

 

[DownButNotOut]

I think this is why she is here... but she is not getting the answers she wanted, apart from me...

I guess some prefer to say what one needs to hear, not just what one wants to hear.

 

[Tabbygirl23]

When you are married or in a committed relationship being sexy for your mate is a good thing. Putting it out there to attract lots of attention from everyone else is crossing a boundary. On some level it reads like you are attention seeking. I say that to be mean but to make you think. Good for you that you train hard & have a good figure. Why isn't that enough? Why do you need the external validation & the price of your husband being upset by your behavior? Do you not understand that while you view this as harmless, he views it as disrespectful? To him you are shouting to the whole world that he's not good enough & you are fishing for somebody better. I am not saying you are doing that but a part of him feels that you are; it's disrespectful.

It's not that your husband's opinion on the subject is more valuable then your opinion. It's that you didn't give his POV any weight. He has told you he doesn't like it & it hurts him. Yet you continue to post. You are intentionally hurting him after he asked you to stop. Why would you do that to someone you love? If he told you he didn't like chicken would you continuously serve chicken for dinner every night?

If you like the photography / artistry aspects of the pictures, make a private album that only you & DH can see. Stop using social media. Problem solved

Ok. Problem solved. Good job.

Any other issues non pictures related relationship problems? (Would benefit from a new thread, but your choice).

It’s not just about him, though. When you spend a lot of time seeking validation of others (that’s the whole point of garnering likes) you’re missing the present moment. There’s that running joke “that workout/trip/vacation/accomplishment didn’t happen if you’re not posting it on social media.” lol

I used to spend a lot of time on FB and over time, it just caused me to not really be “present.” I was always thinking of the next thing I’d be posting, and missing the actual moment. So my advice is a little different in that yes, you should care about what your husband thinks and respect him, but it’s also about working on enjoying your own accomplishments without feeling the urge to post about them on social media. Everything in moderation but maybe take a break for a week and see how you feel. You might find that you enjoy the moments more, when you’re not posting them on social media. Just some food for thought.

I post maybe two or three times a week, majority is with family. But yes, I thought about what you said and if I’m excited or feeling accomplished about anything I just gotta call someone. Lol. Husband, mom, sister, girlfriends and I just go down the list until someone isn’t too busy. Sharing special moments and hearing about them is one of best forms of connection to me. Likes don’t even come close. But they’re great too 😅
Still, time in the moment may need to be prioritized better. Thank you.

I’m really glad my first post was so controversial. I’m gunna write the next one in a way that hopefully invites more questions than assumptions.

Does H check out other women's hot pictures on similar sites or porn?

If ok for you to post for others, he has every right to be an other, viewing their racy photos.

absolutely, we share porn we like with each other. He can tell me stories about exes. It doesn’t mess my head up like it does his. But again, this thread made me realize that I put principles above my marriage. I’m 27 and he’s 38 and it never occurred to us that my mom raised me to value principles over everything including any relationship and I didn’t question that. That’s what she learned in life and carried down to me but since I’m married and she’s not, that’s not really helpful! Husband lives pretty similar to his parents so he hasn’t had to re evaluate things he learned from his parents often.
Okay, thanks again. I’ll post another soon!

 

[Ragnar Ragnasson]

Did the Username change?

 

[DownByTheRiver]

Yes she is desperate for attention from her 'followers'. She keeps a tally of her likes. She puts them there for attention. No other reason.
She may or may not be attractive(remember anyone can use photographic techniques to look a certain way) but she still seeks constant affirmation from others even if means she gets awful comments as well.

Sounds like a Kardashian casualty.

 

[Diana7]

Sounds like a Kardashian casualty.

Sadly this constant self promotion is so common now. The total opposite of past generations.

 

[DownByTheRiver]

Sadly this constant self promotion is so common now. The total opposite of past generations.

Yeah. It even goes on on here.

 

[Evinrude58]

She has principles…… they don’t regard not posting scandalous fb pictures for friends and family to see….. but definitely principles.

 

[DudeInProgress]

A lot of folks on here seem to agree that if it makes your partner uncomfortable, don’t do it. Heres some examples of why I don’t agree:
Pushing boundaries is good for personal growth
Fear can be conquered and overcome
People actually like a whole slew of things they were once uncomfortable with.

so no, making my husband uncomfortable is not disrespectful. And Vise Versa. Thoughtful actions, compromise, honesty, and patience is key, not blind obedience.

This is truly a sick and narcissistic mindset.. You get to push your own boundaries, you don’t get to force other people to push theirs.

You may find out sooner or later that when you push someone else’s boundaries far enough (if they have any self-respect) they’ll just leave you.

 

[DudeInProgress]

To you, not to most people. I would never disrespect Mr D by acting that way. Or myself come to that.

Consider the source.

 

[DudeInProgress]

You were talking in general terms about behaviours. What if he doesn't like her eating cakes? Some requests can be unreasonable. Is it ok to respect your partner's request if the request is unreasonable to you? Who is not respecting whom? He posts his pictures showing his muscles. It's double standards. Typical of a controlling male.

How pathetic. It’s not unreasonable to expect your wife to behave like a wife and not a single woman. It’s not unreasonable to expect your wife to avoid plastering her social media with sexy, revealing pictures.

 

[In Absentia]

How pathetic. It’s not unreasonable to expect your wife to behave like a wife and not a single woman. It’s not unreasonable to expect your wife to avoid plastering her social media with sexy, revealing pictures.

Her husband does the same.

 

[Diana7]

Her husband does the same.

Not to the extent she does.

 

[In Absentia]

Not to the extent she does.

Of course you've seen the pics, so you know this for sure...

 

[DownButNotOut]

Her husband does the same.

And if she has a problem with that she should ask him to stop.

But she doesn't have a problem with his pictures.

 

[In Absentia]

And if she has a problem with that she should ask him to stop.

But she doesn't have a problem with his pictures.

Maybe she is not as jealous as he is...

 

[DownButNotOut]

Maybe she is not as jealous as he is...

So?

Regardless of the reason, he is uncomfortable with the pictures. She should respect that.