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I think you are in the minority. Would you really want a wife who is desperate for likes and comments form other men to make her feel good about herself? Many things in the 21st century are very damaging and harmful and this is one of them. People who are so affected by how they are seen on social media that it deeply affects their life. I think its sad and pretty pathetic actually.
You are distorting what she said. She doesn't come across like desperate to me. She didn't say she needs likes from other men to feel good about herself. She likes showing off her new muscles. I don't find anything wrong with it.
 

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To you, not to most people. I would never disrespect Mr D by acting that way. Or myself come to that.
How do you know that "most people" wouldn't find them silly? Have you conducted a survey about it? How many people have you interviewed? You are projecting your beliefs. It's obvious that they see life in a completely different way and the gap is pretty wide. I wouldn't want to be with a man who tells me what I can do and what I can't do. It's harmless pics on social media. The man's been controlling. Small penis syndrome.
 

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They are silly boundaries.
Boundaries are not about whether you find them silly or not. It's where your partner draws the line, and you simply have to decide if it's something you can respect it or not.
Can you really tolerate your wife disrespecting yours? Really?

Standards are also relative to the couple and what works for them both, it shouldn't be one-sided. We can have our opinions in this thread, but we have OP's opinion, and her husband's opinion. That's what matters.

And he says no. Is this how relationships should be? We just disregard our partner's feelings and do whatever the hell we want?
 

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Discussion Starter · #46 ·
For the life of me I just can't get my head straight about all these pathetic attention seeking women and their pictures of them with their phone in their hand, their lips protruding like a pair of blood sucking leeches and those contortionated bodies, to show just how (supposedly) hot they are.


To me that's nothing but a turn off to see those pictures. A lot of those women are not even anywhere as hot. they just fool themselves thinking that they are to begin with. But hey let them fool themselves.

If OP were my woman and start with that crap, pretty soon she would be just someone I used to know after I dumped her sorry ass.

Women + vanity= their downfall.
You might as well divorce with your attitude.
It’s not about who has the valid opinion.
You are seeking attention from other men, he’s not an idiot, and you are totally disregarding his feelings.

What’s your next move? My guess is you’ll start getting into a back and forth with some cute guy who likes your pictures, your husband will show righteous anger, and you will hit him with the “why are you so insecure??????😇”
Or “you’re so controlling”…..

just slap in the face, tell him he’s not good enough for you, and that you are too hot to be with him.

because that’s exactly what you’re doing with your social media posts.
It's not that one opinion is more valid than another.

Whether you realize it or not, when you post sexy pictures on social media, you are signalling romantic availability to other men. Granted, that may not be your intent, but intent and impact are often two different things.

The more important question is why you feel the need to do it. Have you actually reflected on that yet, or are you just doing what feels good?

And look...you can do what you want. If my wife chose to do that, I would tell her once that I was not okay with it. If she blew me off, I would start making arrangements to make her my ex wife in short order.

Most women (and men for that matter) are ordinary...replaceable. If you want your husband to view you as irreplaceable and extraordinary, then stop doing what ordinary, attention seeking, 'recreational use only' females do.

Or... continue, and risk losing your husband.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk
Women get unwanted attention from men no matter what unfortunately, I’m not signaling to anyone and it’s obvious. My bio, and the majority of my pics are family oriented. so, the few pics of me in workout clothes or a bathing suit are not the centerpiece but a piece of the whole. I’m not shaking my butt or jiggling my boobs, I’m showing off to friends and family. I’m saying “look how good I look” not “hey strange man, message me privately”
Why would friends and family also like the pictures? Cause it’s okay to show off! They don’t think the same thing as creeps online, they like my outfit, the background choice, my effort! Times are changing, women are not putting on makeup and cute clothes for men anymore. I’m not referring to thirst traps, Pictures that are sexual. I’m referring to pictures that display your beauty/youth/health/style.. it’s okay to show the world (my profile is private so only friends, family, and the occasional creeps that get deleted as soon as they do creepy stuff) that you’re feeling yourself and confident. My husband posts pictures of himself looking good too. Showing his muscles, jumping rope in the gym. What’s the difference?
 

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I really appreciate the time you took to provide some real perspective.
My brand isn’t thirst trap hottie and never has been. It’s adventurous, athletic, creative. I don’t shake my butt or jiggle my boobs. When my husband met me I wore clothes and makeup that made me happy and still does. I reject advances just like I did before we met. It seems like a huge part of being married is proving to everyone you’re loyal and devoted. Why can’t I just do what makes me happy and be loyal and devoted.
I'm not going to argue with you. You wanted a man's perspective and I gave it.

You don't need to prove to "everyone" you're loyal and devoted. You only need to prove it to your husband.

At the end of the day you have to decide what's more important to you: your husband and your marriage, or your ego and social validation. I don't think you'll be able to balance the two and have a life long relationship with your husband.
 

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Boundaries are not about whether you find them silly or not. It's where your partner draws the line, and you simply have to decide if it's something you can respect it or not.
Can you really tolerate your wife disrespecting yours? Really?

Standards are also relative to the couple and what works for them both, it shouldn't be one-sided. We can have our opinions in this thread, but we have OP's opinion, and her husband's opinion. That's what matters.

And he says no. Is this how relationships should be? We just disregard our partner's feelings and do whatever the hell we want?
Then I would find a partner who shares the same life values as me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #51 ·
Why do men like to see images of sexy women on the Internet and on social media? Why has there been a corresponding increase in the sales of tissue paper? Is there a connection? Nah! Must be a coincidence!🤔🙂
Lol, idk they have access to porn? You’d be
wasting your lotion and Kleenex on my profile, you could go watch all the rapey videos with fake orgasms and perfectly bleached butts you want there!
 

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Women get unwanted attention from men no matter what unfortunately, I’m not signaling to anyone and it’s obvious. My bio, and the majority of my pics are family oriented. so, the few pics of me in workout clothes or a bathing suit are not the centerpiece but a piece of the whole. I’m not shaking my butt or jiggling my boobs, I’m showing off to friends and family. I’m saying “look how good I look” not “hey strange man, message me privately”
Why would friends and family also like the pictures? Cause it’s okay to show off! They don’t think the same thing as creeps online, they like my outfit, the background choice, my effort! Times are changing, women are not putting on makeup and cute clothes for men anymore. I’m not referring to thirst traps, Pictures that are sexual. I’m referring to pictures that display your beauty/youth/health/style.. it’s okay to show the world (my profile is private so only friends, family, and the occasional creeps that get deleted as soon as they do creepy stuff) that you’re feeling yourself and confident. My husband posts pictures of himself looking good too. Showing his muscles, jumping rope in the gym. What’s the difference?
You can even shake your butt or jiggle your boobs all you want and I would even endorse it if he endorses it. It's about you TWO and what makes you both happy. He's obviously not happy with it, so you're just going to do it anyway?

Don't you get it? My partner for instance wouldn't want me to have any women on the passenger seat but our family. I can think that's stupid if let's say a member of my team needs a lift home and it's along the way, but I'll still say no. It's all about respecting your partner's boundaries and vice versa. If he's onboard, sure, go for it. This isn't a debate of what is right and wrong (that means nothing to me), it's a debate of whether you are going to respect each other's boundaries - or not.

Up to you and the type of relationship you want though, but I don't see a happy ending to a relationship where one partner doesn't give a sh-t about how the other feels.
 

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Discussion Starter · #53 ·
There you go... as I suspected. The usual double standards from the husband.
There you go... as I suspected. The usual double standards from the husband.
Agreed absentia, it’s a double standard. But women aren’t creepy to him so it’s different? I have zero control over the gross comments and messages other than to delete and block. My husband and I can be considered vain but that’s not the issue I’m raising. 😅
Questions are welcome, idk why everyone wants to assume stuff.
 

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Women get unwanted attention from men no matter what unfortunately, I’m not signaling to anyone and it’s obvious. My bio, and the majority of my pics are family oriented. so, the few pics of me in workout clothes or a bathing suit are not the centerpiece but a piece of the whole. I’m not shaking my butt or jiggling my boobs, I’m showing off to friends and family. I’m saying “look how good I look” not “hey strange man, message me privately”
Why would friends and family also like the pictures? Cause it’s okay to show off! They don’t think the same thing as creeps online, they like my outfit, the background choice, my effort! Times are changing, women are not putting on makeup and cute clothes for men anymore. I’m not referring to thirst traps, Pictures that are sexual. I’m referring to pictures that display your beauty/youth/health/style.. it’s okay to show the world (my profile is private so only friends, family, and the occasional creeps that get deleted as soon as they do creepy stuff) that you’re feeling yourself and confident. My husband posts pictures of himself looking good too. Showing his muscles, jumping rope in the gym. What’s the difference?
Why not take joint pictures with your husband when you're training at the gym, and outside the gym, so both of you can show your progress together?
 

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Discussion Starter · #55 ·
You can even shake your butt or jiggle your boobs all you want and I would even endorse it if he endorses it. It's about you TWO and what makes you both happy. He's obviously not happy with it, so you're just going to do it anyway?

Don't you get it? My partner for instance wouldn't want me to have any women on the passenger seat but our family. I can think that's stupid if let's say a member of my team needs a lift home and it's along the way, but I'll still say no. It's all about respecting your partner's boundaries and vice versa. If he's onboard, sure, go for it. This isn't a debate of what is right and wrong (that means nothing to me), it's a debate of whether you are going to respect each other's boundaries - or not.

Up to you and the type of relationship you want though, but I don't see a happy ending to a relationship where one partner doesn't give a sh-t about how the other feels.
change is so important! I was 18 and he was 30 when we got married. THANK GOODNESS I changed since then. I care deeply about how he feels, I signed up to a marriage forum and get to read awful crap from strangers but I can sift through it and find some good insight because it’s worth it to me. Yes, some men might try to get with me. But I’m not feeble minded? You know, I can defend myself against unwanted messages. I think the bottom line is I trust him and he doesn’t trust me. Which would require a professional unfortunately this free forum can’t help with that 😅
 

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change is so important! I was 18 and he was 30 when we got married. THANK GOODNESS I changed since then. I care deeply about how he feels, I signed up to a marriage forum and get to read awful crap from strangers but I can sift through it and find some good insight because it’s worth it to me. Yes, some men might try to get with me. But I’m not feeble minded? You know, I can defend myself against unwanted messages. I think the bottom line is I trust him and he doesn’t trust me. Which would require a professional unfortunately this free forum can’t help with that 😅
Trust is something that is built, never should be expected or demanded.

If you show him that you can respect his boundaries and keep to your commitments - trust WILL build, and who knows how he or you may feel about it in the future, you know?
 

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Discussion Starter · #57 ·
Why not take joint pictures with your husband when you're training at the gym, and outside the gym, so both of you can show your progress together?
Love that idea! Someone in here mentioned brand management and it really made me think about the general message I send with my pics. I deleted a few tbh, the majority of likes were from strangers.
 

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Discussion Starter · #58 ·
Trust is something that is built, never should be expected or demanded.

If you show him that you can respect his boundaries and keep to your commitments - trust WILL build, and who knows how he or you may feel about it in the future, you know?
Absolutely, thank you. No expectations, just compromise and patience. Looking back, he’s shown me more patience than I have shown him. When we met I thought he hung the moon. Lol.
 

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You are distorting what she said. She doesn't come across like desperate to me. She didn't say she needs likes from other men to feel good about herself. She likes showing off her new muscles. I don't find anything wrong with it.
Of course she does, she wouldn't need to do it otherwise. A person with good self esteem doesn't need to do things like that.
 

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Well, I don’t know what you took from my post if anything, however, it’s confusing to me to read that your photos are primarily intended (as private too, I’m sure I read) to share with your family and friends yet there’s mention of what your ‘brand’ is and ‘brand management’. Why the heck does anyone need to represent themselves as a ‘brand’ to friends and family? I’ll take my cue to leave this thread. I’m out.
 
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