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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Latest update:
I got some helpful insight and we agreed to go through my pics and take out scandalous ones that send a bad message but keep ones that can be thought sexy but clearly aren’t a thirst trap(not sexual in nature, just me looking good 😎)
Happy compromise 😁
thanks everyone, i know it was very triggering to some. I won’t be replying anymore but feel free to discuss this further.

UPDATE:
Only responding to constructive and well intentioned replies, opposition is very welcome(and expected, my research confirms that my point of view is not common at all), trash talking is not. Also, I just want to inform y’all that my husband and I do not ever spare each other discomfort to avoid conflict. Thank you, but “Don’t do things that make each other Uncomfortable” is not helpful advice to us, it’s not our style

Hello everyone, I’d like to discuss openly and without judgement a topic that my husband and I discuss at length, often.
I posted pictures on social media, and they make my husband uncomfortable. Too sexy he says.
so once again, we’re going back and forth about what’s okay to post and what’s not.
Why is it disrespectful to your husband to post pictures some people will find sexy?
to clarify..
reasons I posted these pictures:
1.I’m showing off my figure, I train hard and I’m proud of it.
2. I really like my new workout clothes(which hubby encouraged me to buy) and want to show them off
3. Getting Likes(no interest or desire to receive comments or messages)
I would love insight and perspective, thank you!

EDIT:
Important information to viewers
I like taking pictures in general (lighting, pose, background) I’m not seeking male attention, I’m seeking likes as I do with ALL my pictures, including my son’s soccer games, and husbands fancy cooking. Lol
 

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If hubby doesn't like you doing it, then you need to respect him enough to stop doing it.

You are being an attention seeker even though you deny it. If you want to show off your figure, show it off to hubby. If you want to show off your figure to strange men, then leave your hubby and explore this activity to your hearts content.
 

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Hello everyone, I’d like to discuss openly and without judgement a topic that my husband and I discuss at length, often.
I posted pictures on social media, and they make my husband uncomfortable. Too sexy he says.
so once again, we’re going back and forth about what’s okay to post and what’s not.
Why is it disrespectful to your husband to post pictures some people will find sexy?
to clarify..
reasons I posted these pictures:
1.I’m showing off my figure, I train hard and I’m proud of it.
2. I really like my new workout clothes(which hubby encouraged me to buy) and want to show them off
3. Getting Likes(no interest or desire to receive comments or messages)
I would love insight and perspective, thank you!
Why is it disrespectful? Because he is uncomfortable with it. Would you be comfortable if he were sliding into DMs of other women? To him, posting those pictures is equivalent.

Here are some things to think about from a man's point of view.

Sexy pictures are thirst traps. To men seeing those pictures you're advertising you are available. You aren't available, and your sexuality is for your husband not thirsty strangers. Be honest, what are your DMs like? If your husband read them how would he react?

You are a married woman. Sexy thirst trap posts are something single women do. As a married woman, to your man your social presence is representing your family and your marriage. Do you post respectful family pictures on the same feed?

At the end of the day, social media is about brand management. Your brand now should be happily married woman, not thirst trap hottie.
 

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I posted pictures on social media, and they make my husband uncomfortable. Too sexy he says. ... Why is it disrespectful to your husband to post pictures some people will find sexy?
It's disrespectful because it makes your husband uncomfortable and it bothers him. That's it in a nutshell ... you either respect your husband or you flaunt your body online. Frankly, I don't get it. If your husband thinks you have a smokin' hot body, who gives a crap what a bunch of other people out in cyberspace think?
 

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For the life of me I just can't get my head straight about all these pathetic attention seeking women and their pictures of them with their phone in their hand, their lips protruding like a pair of blood sucking leeches and those contortionated bodies, to show just how (supposedly) hot they are.


To me that's nothing but a turn off to see those pictures. A lot of those women are not even anywhere as hot. they just fool themselves thinking that they are to begin with. But hey let them fool themselves.

If OP were my woman and start with that crap, pretty soon she would be just someone I used to know after I dumped her sorry ass.

Women + vanity= their downfall.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I am with your husband. I have no idea why you would want to do this, except to get male attention.
Maybe listen to him and respect his opinions and wishes on this?
Hi Diana, it’s important for me to understand his perspective. I liked the picture but he doesn’t, why is his opinion more valid?
 

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You might as well divorce with your attitude.
It’s not about who has the valid opinion.
You are seeking attention from other men, he’s not an idiot, and you are totally disregarding his feelings.

What’s your next move? My guess is you’ll start getting into a back and forth with some cute guy who likes your pictures, your husband will show righteous anger, and you will hit him with the “why are you so insecure??????😇”
Or “you’re so controlling”…..

just slap in the face, tell him he’s not good enough for you, and that you are too hot to be with him.

because that’s exactly what you’re doing with your social media posts.
 

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Hi Diana, it’s important for me to understand his perspective. I liked the picture but he doesn’t, why is his opinion more valid?
It's not that one opinion is more valid than another.

Whether you realize it or not, when you post sexy pictures on social media, you are signalling romantic availability to other men. Granted, that may not be your intent, but intent and impact are often two different things.

The more important question is why you feel the need to do it. Have you actually reflected on that yet, or are you just doing what feels good?

And look...you can do what you want. If my wife chose to do that, I would tell her once that I was not okay with it. If she blew me off, I would start making arrangements to make her my ex wife in short order.

Most women (and men for that matter) are ordinary...replaceable. If you want your husband to view you as irreplaceable and extraordinary, then stop doing what ordinary, attention seeking, 'recreational use only' females do.

Or... continue, and risk losing your husband.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk
 

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You might as well divorce with your attitude.
It’s not about who has the valid opinion.
You are seeking attention from other men, he’s not an idiot, and you are totally disregarding his feelings.

What’s your next move? My guess is you’ll start getting into a back and forth with some cute guy who likes your pictures, your husband will show righteous anger, and you will hit him with the “why are you so insecure??????😇”
Or “you’re so controlling”…..

just slap in the face, tell him he’s not good enough for you, and that you are too hot to be with him.

because that’s exactly what you’re doing with your social media posts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
If hubby doesn't like you doing it, then you need to respect him enough to stop doing it.

You are being an attention seeker even though you deny it. If you want to show off your figure, show it off to hubby. If you want to show off your figure to strange men, then leave your hubby and explore this activity to your hearts content.
Thank you for replying, but what did I deny?
 

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As a man, I have learned the hard way to just walk away from ladies who post provocative pics online for attention from other men. In your husband's shoes, I'd just walk away.

Right now, you are putting the opinions and attention of other men over your husband and you wonder why he is upset. You could just...not post sexy pics online and this problem would go away, but the attention you get is too valuable to you to give up, so you instead choose to put your marriage in jeopardy.
 

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Why is it disrespectful to your husband to post pictures some people will find sexy?
Given that you have discussed this topic at great length with your husband, what's your understanding of why he feels it's disrespectful to him as your husband - and which denotes to your marriage?
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Why do you have the need for validation from others is the real question. Ego kibbles.
I know I’m sexy, I don’t need validation. It’s a state of mind that comes and goes. But these pictures show photography skills, they show new muscles I didn’t have before, they show a stylish outfit that we picked out together. What’s so scary about some of the viewers only caring about it being a sexy woman?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
As a man, I have learned the hard way to just walk away from ladies who post provocative pics online for attention from other men. In your husband's shoes, I'd just walk away.

Right now, you are putting the opinions and attention of other men over your husband and you wonder why he is upset. You could just...not post sexy pics online and this problem would go away, but the attention you get is too valuable to you to give up, so you instead choose to put your marriage in jeopardy.
I wasn’t being sexual or provocative at all. I’m proud of the outfit, my muscles, my hair, the background. The sexyness of it is subjective
 

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I know I’m sexy, I don’t need validation. It’s a state of mind that comes and goes. But these pictures show photography skills, they show new muscles I didn’t have before, they show a stylish outfit that we picked out together. What’s so scary about some of the viewers only caring about it being a sexy woman?
Why would you want men, other than your husband, viewing you as a sexy woman? Is that a turn on for you? If you’ve worked hard for your body, you should appreciate that. I’m sure your husband does. Why does the rest of the world need to know? Does it make you feel better? Confident people are secure. They don’t need “likes” from strangers on social media.
 

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Thank you for replying, but what did I deny?
(1) You're denying that you did this for attention and ego kibbles from people other than your husband.
(2) You're denying your lack of respect for your husbands opinion.
 
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