I have been married 20 years after dating for 1.5 years. When we dated our sex life and all the accompanying playfulness was perfect and exactly what I wanted. Once we were married, it stopped. I have discussed many times with my husband that I am lonely and I know he loves me, but I need - not just want - but need to feel that he loves me too. He swears he has not cheated on me, and I don't think he has, but no one can be 100% sure except him. I have a very high sexual drive, playfulness and sense of adventure in that department. I would be happy with everyday or more, or at least every couple days. My husband on the other hand is very reserved and tame. Lately it is maybe a couple times a month - which is more than it used to be, but has been as long as 6 months or so between interludes. I want more and more adventerous, which I am pretty sure we had when we dated, but he's not that way now. I have discussed this with him many many many times through the course of our marriage all the different things I want. I have even guided him to what I want and at least half or more, he will not oblige. (Example: kiss my neck here, it really feels nice and I really like it - he may do it once, then not again for months or years later.) I don't know what to do. Sidenote: We have three children ages range from 19 to 3. I am a stay home mom for the last 2 years and even when I worked - I take care of everything except paying the bills. Housework, cooking, shopping, packing lunches, laundry, making beds, decorating for holidays, packing for trips (he does most of the driving when on a trip), cleaning up after kids, getting kids to bed and bathed, getting up in the night with the kids when they were babies - I literally do it all, except paying the bills and the occasional change the lightbulb because I can't reach it, opening a jar that I can't seem to get open or something like that. He has also rejected my advances many many times which has brought me to tears, crying myself to sleep and a huge sense of lonliness and unhappiness. I love my husband and he loves me. It surprises him that I am not happy or content, and has tried to make me feel guilty for what I want, that it is not real and not possible. Or he makes me feel guilty for saying anything, because he takes it I am not satisfied when we do have sex. That is not the case most of the time, I can't tell him that sometimes it is just not enough - I don't want to hurt his ego. I disagree with him and don't want to spend the rest of my life like this, but I don't want to rip my family apart either. What do we do? I have suggested him see a doctor to get all his levels checked and all, but he has yet to do so. I have a battle in my head about it - why can't he give me more? Am I being unrealisitic wanting this? Is this a justifiable reason to consider a separation or divorce? I am in my late 30's and not overweight - I am no where near a bodybuilder, but I am not by any means unattractive or unkept. Granted I don't dress in fancy dress, except for him on occasions, which does nothing, hence the reason I have kinda stopped. Any advice? I am tired of being depressed, lonely and crying myself to sleep about it. What can be done to fix it without hurting his feelings? Or am I just asking for too much?