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Anyone that stomped his feet and demanded sex then held divorce over my head as a consequence of not responding would be signing divorce papers real quick.
Most last stage communications believe it or not do not involve stomping feet and demanding things but get there the after the point of if mutually happy sex is off the table so decisions have to be made as a result of issues over time.
 

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not just the woman controlling everything. That need to control is something that guys really need to be aware of in a woman, and simply stop dealing with controlling women.
Wow, wanting to wear what we feel sexy in is now controlling?

Who knew?

The irony, a controlling post trying to shame others for being controlling. 😄

As to the OP, I still think better communication would be helpful.
 

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well you know if you want to choose your clothes, food, job, or how you spend your time you are very controlling.

But....but.....women in porn like what they're told to like!

Sorry....couldn't resist 😅

It is of course nice to wear things your guy likes, but there's got to be some balance.

Good thing my guy isn't demanding I wear hooker heels....I'd have to be controlling and say no. But there are other things I would do for him.
 

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But....but.....women in porn like what they're told to like!

Sorry....couldn't resist 😅

It is of course nice to wear things your guy likes, but there's got to be some balance.

Good thing my guy isn't demanding I wear hooker heels....I'd have to be controlling and say no. But there are other things I would do for him.
I dig it.
Although I do like the W in heels. She has great legs. Heels aren't a necessity but I like them now and then.
 

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Anyone that stomped his feet and demanded sex then held divorce over my head as a consequence of not responding would be signing divorce papers real quick.
I hope "stomped his feet" was a metaphorical usage. You do understand these last-ditch efforts are not dramatic confrontations, I hope.

What then do you suggest? If your partner has a long-standing issue that you know about but have not worked to resolve, should he read the writing on the wall, divorce, and move on? Should he assume you simply are uninterested in fixing it?
 

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She actually said she thinks about it every day, but for some reason she doesn't act on it. I have to hold my tongue when she mentions her sister dressing up for her husband, or her other sister giving her husband blowjobs without asking. She knows, but apparently doesn't care.
I am the same way as her, but I know mine stems from being turned down so many times I just don’t try. Maybe a past partner has done this to her as well.
 

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Wow, wanting to wear what we feel sexy in is now controlling?

Who knew?

The irony, a controlling post trying to shame others for being controlling. 😄

As to the OP, I still think better communication would be helpful.
Well you just proved my point. While also conveniently missing the point that the principle I described applies in reverse as well. Lingerie is ultimately for the man. A lot of women would be so much better off with their man if they stop fighting everything he says. If he says he likes it on her - she should roll with it.
 

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Look, women just don't want sex as much as men do, with very few exceptions. When they're young and dating, they're exploring and they're excited and hoping every date is the ideal guy in their head, and that makes them horny. They try things to see if they like them. Sadly, they do not like a lot of them because a lot of them are only pleasurable for men. Sex is not the No. 1 priority for women and it usually drops way off after some time being married and after having kids. You just have to accept that women don't want it as much as men do overall, so there is zero reason why she would start being proactive and initiating sex with more frequency, because she's not the one who wants it all the time. You are. Men are, in general.

I have to agree with Old Shirt up there. It's young women dating who IF they are ever going to be experimental will be it young and dating, and even then, certainly not all are. And that doesn't last. They don't enjoy BJs. Some find oral a good trade and others would rather not entirely if given the option. You get off on doing things covertly in public, sounds like. Doesn't sound like she does. She's getting high to get you off, just like prostitutes have to stay high to keep doing it.

The excitement wears off. It just does. No matter that you stay in shape or you don't. She has other priorities.

The good news is when you do have sex, though less frequently than you'd like, sounds like you're both enjoying it. Don't ruin that by demanding she meet needs of yours that she simply doesn't have.
Not all women.... I'm married to a sexuality cold husnad and it's the other way around with me. He says no because of headaches 😏😏 it's so sad to read about someone feeling unwanted sexually because it hurts and it breaks down your self esteem. Don't have advice just know you're not alone..
 

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Actually men are better at picking out lingerie for 2 reasons:
1. We know what we like to see.
2. A Wife wearing lingerie should be for her Husband anyway.

Also a lot of women do not know what looks good on them. This is why we see so many ill dressed people out in public. Most people in general don't know what looks good. And I can't tell you how many times I've seen women with silly lingerie on - like black stockings with white shoes, or lace granny panties. We don't like that, it looks crazy. Lingerie should make the woman FEEL sexy, yes. But, ultimately, it's for the man.

These are the types of things that men have been shamed into being silent about. It's ridiculous. If he wants her to wear what he picks out and he thinks it looks sexy on her, then that's what it is. And when she wants him to do something that's ultimately for her, then he should do that as well. That's what real compromise and SELFLESSNESS is in a marriage - not just the woman controlling everything. That need to control is something that guys really need to be aware of in a woman, and simply stop dealing with controlling women.
A man who dictates what their woman wears is the controlling one of the two and way out of his lane.
 

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Not all women.... I'm married to a sexuality cold husnad and it's the other way around with me. He says no because of headaches 😏😏 it's so sad to read about someone feeling unwanted sexually because it hurts and it breaks down your self esteem. Don't have advice just know you're not alone..
Any kind of feeling unwanted hurts. It helps not to have all your self-esteem tied up in sexual validation though. Be sure all aspects of your life are balanced. You can control a lot of that. And then change your situation if you need to if there just isn't anything good left.
 

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A man who dictates what their woman wears is the controlling one of the two and way out of his lane.
Are you intentionally missing the point, or honestly don't understand?

Perhaps a switch in perspective: A woman likes flowers. Man doesn't like buying them, thinks they're a waste of money as they just get thrown out in a few days. If she strongly likes the flowers, and despite his misgivings he buys them anyway, is she not "dictating" the flower purchase, and controlling for doing so? Obviously the answer is no, it's doing something the other likes despite your own feelings about the issue, because it's important or brings pleasure to the other one. Insert topic of your choice: BJs, diamond rings, sports car, sprawling suburban house with the "just right" picket fence. Leaning into the desires of your partner despite them not being shared ones is ok, and it's not "being controlled".

Demanding it happen, or else, at all times, locations, and specifications - yes, that's controlling, and NOT what's being suggested here in the slightest.
 

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Are you intentionally missing the point, or honestly don't understand?

Perhaps a switch in perspective: A woman likes flowers. Man doesn't like buying them, thinks they're a waste of money as they just get thrown out in a few days. If she strongly likes the flowers, and despite his misgivings he buys them anyway, is she not "dictating" the flower purchase, and controlling for doing so? Obviously the answer is no, it's doing something the other likes despite your own feelings about the issue, because it's important or brings pleasure to the other one. Insert topic of your choice: BJs, diamond rings, sports car, sprawling suburban house with the "just right" picket fence. Leaning into the desires of your partner despite them not being shared ones is ok, and it's not "being controlled".

Demanding it happen, or else, at all times, locations, and specifications - yes, that's controlling, and NOT what's being suggested here in the slightest.
I disagree.
 

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What are you implying?
Not implying anything, as you haven't given much to base anything on. Inviting an explanation, as I don't understand why you insist it's controlling to suggest a partner might wear something the other partner would like to see on them. I certainly don't feel it controlling when my wife gives me that certain look and asks, "is that what you're wearing to X?" and suggests a better shirt.
 
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