[BeyondRepair007]

@Koopatroopa You REALLY need to stop believing your wife and start listening to your gut.

A lot of the things you are believing are only because she says so. Try to back away from that and look at things like a stranger would. Like we are.

From an objective viewpoint, you have a lot to be angry about. Disrespecting you and likely cheating with OM is at the top of the list.

Stop defending her. Start seeing her for who she is.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Yes I am a stay at home dad,she still says she thinks she did nothing wrong.

My wife says, "If a woman did not like the interaction, she would put the kibosh on it." She has not. It is probably going both directions....seen many of those types of women.

My wife worked in industry that was 95% male, they addressed her as Mrs. Favored and we're very respectful at all times. She said a woman that values her marriage, establishes a boundary from the start and the men know that that behavior will not be tolerated, let alone reciprocated.

If she cared, she would have kicked him in his proverbial balls from the start.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Just to see if I was crazy and how to handle it with out yelling or violence.

Sometimes violence is necessary if guy don't stop or wife will not stop it or go to HR. Otherwise file and end it with her, find a woman that values her marriage above other guy.

 

[DownByTheRiver]

I know you are in an awkward position because if you backed the guy up and then someone retaliated and she lost her job, she'd probably be mad about it. It is up to her since it's her job. Have you just told her, Something needs to be done about this guy because you can't expect me to endorse this and he has no boundaries. If you aren't going to put a stop to it, give me permission to. Then call and report the guy or guys to the owner if possible (you can find owner of company online) or if they're a big company, HR. Tell them he is saying it right in front of you and you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. I don't want youy to get into a fight with the guy, but he really has crossed the line talking trash about your wife in front of you.

Likely, she is not the least interested in this crass POS but is afraid to rock the boat. Also, she probably does feel he's just like that and maybe not taking it personally. There are guys who are just like that. It's no excuse though. Especially in this day and age.

I think this is a separate problem from sex in your marriage, though.

If you talk to someone (or email if you can find it), be specific. Say he said this to my wife right in front of me. Quote him. Do you have his first and last name?

 

[Koopatroopa]

I know you are in an awkward position because if you backed the guy up and then someone retaliated and she lost her job, she'd probably be mad about it. It is up to her since it's her job. Have you just told her, Something needs to be done about this guy because you can't expect me to endorse this and he has no boundaries. If you aren't going to put a stop to it, give me permission to. Then call and report the guy or guys to the owner if possible (you can find owner of company online) or if they're a big company, HR. Tell them he is saying it right in front of you and you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. I don't want youy to get into a fight with the guy, but he really has crossed the line talking trash about your wife in front of you.

Likely, she is not the least interested in this crass POS but is afraid to rock the boat. Also, she probably does feel he's just like that and maybe not taking it personally. There are guys who are just like that. It's no excuse though. Especially in this day and age.

I think this is a separate problem from sex in your marriage, though.

If you talk to someone (or email if you can find it), be specific. Say he said this to my wife right in front of me. Quote him. Do you have his first and last name?

First name I know his last name but idk how to spell it.he is gone as far as I know,I took care of it myself and I made it clear if there is ever another OM like this and that crap ain't shut down no questions divorce is coming .she said ok.

 

[Exit37]

Likely, she is not the least interested in this crass POS but is afraid to rock the boat. Also, she probably does feel he's just like that and maybe not taking it personally. There are guys who are just like that. It's no excuse though. Especially in this day and age.

Are you kidding? She is meeting him on the road, she spent the night at his place when she conveniently ran out of hours she could drive by his place, etc. She doesn’t give one whit about her husband’s feelings because she knows he will cave. She was his trainer when he started his “sausage” BS, she was not afraid to rock the boat, she liked it. She is almost certainly having an affair with this guy, ongoing or one or two times for sure.


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[Koopatroopa]

Are you kidding? She is meeting him in the road, she spent the night at his place when she conveniently ran out of hours she could drive by his place, etc. She doesn’t give one whit about her husband’s feelings because she knows he will cave. She was his trainer when he started his “sausage” BS, she was not afraid to rock the boat, she liked it. She is almost certainly having an affair with this guy, ongoing or one or two times for sure.


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Wait she went to his house had dinner buy went back to her truck I was on the phone with her most of the night.

 

[DownByTheRiver]

First name I know his last name but idk how to spell it.he is gone as far as I know,I took care of it myself and I made it clear if there is ever another OM like this and that crap ain't shut down no questions divorce is coming .she said ok.

Good! Look, I'm a woman, and I hated being harassed like that at work. It's so disrespectful. It puts women in a bad position where it's hard to know what to do. Hopefully there won't be another ahole like that guy. He sounds unusually bad. Most of them know not to do it in front of the husband at least! So I think he was unusual and not likely another one will be that bad at least.

 

[Southern Yankee]

he is gone as far as I know

How so? Gone from the job? Or just now going to leave her alone?

 

[Koopatroopa]

How so? Gone from the job? Or just now going to leave her alone?

Leave her alone he does not work for her DC anymore since last month.

 

[Jakobs]

Yes and no I have a detective mindset so everyone is a suspect,until proven otherwise,the one thing is she never stopped him that was a big read flag and I don't want to be the couple that in the first 2 years in white couples if the man says he doesn't like his wife's guy pal it usually ends in divorce, look it up.i usually act crazy and angered when I was young I had toxic traits so I am trying this approach wanted to see what total strangers thought because you guys don't know us so there is no emotional attachment. You understand?

Why didn't you check the guy when he made those comments? In front of everyone, you should've told him, in a nice way, to cut it off and never make those comments to your wife ever again. And if he tested you again, raise it up a notch: get in his face.

Don't expect your wife to stop advances and attention because women LOOOOOOVE attention and adulation.